Sister Ye Zi:
I just joined the job this year, 28 years old, a civil servant in a certain agency. I took several years to pass the exam.
My family is from this city, and my parents are both born in the 1960s and the family conditions are very average.
has been wandering around various private companies before, and just happened to support myself and basically didn't save money. After passing the exam, I came to work for several months and felt the difference with my colleagues, especially lesbians.
Due to the nature of the business, there are more women and fewer men. Most of the people I deal with in my daily work are female colleagues.
These female colleagues are basically pampered and have good family backgrounds. Either they marry well or their parents have good conditions. Compared with them, I became more and more inferior.
I will talk about two trivial things.
The first time was that four people in our department went out for a meeting, and the meeting was located in the suburbs. Everyone knows that there will be no buses after car is converted to , so you can only drive your own car.
4 people are the only one. Why do I have the nerve to take a female colleague's car? I patted my chest and said I'll drive (actually I feel sorry for the money for gas).
It was agreed, but as soon as everyone arrived at the parking lot, the female colleague A changed his mind.
I drove an Nissan sedan that I had been at home for seven or eight years, which was very old and very broken. When I walked up to him, A suddenly said, "Oh, your car is small, the four of us are too crowded, so drive mine."
She took out the car key, and the lights in the car next to her lit up. When I saw it, it was an BMW X5. I blushed and couldn't even raise my head.
Although I know A is just a carefree personality and does not deliberately slap me in the face, I still feel the pain on my face and stand there at a loss.
Another thing is the box of cosmetics placed by the female colleague sitting opposite me on the table. I have never noticed that in my concept, this kind of thing costs at most several hundred yuan.
Until another female colleague came to visit her and chatted with her, picked up the box of cosmetics and asked her, she calmly told her the price, 1,500.
When I heard her say this, I was shocked and depressed at the time.
Shocked because this money is my family’s monthly vegetable money. I can’t imagine what it means to spend so much money to buy a box of face wipes.
Frustration was when I suddenly thought that if I had such a girlfriend, I would not be able to support her at all! This comparison exists every day of my work, making my mentality worse and worse.
I know that no matter how hard I try, I can't live such a life, nor can I face my female colleagues normally, especially when they take out big brands that I can't afford or know, I want to find a hole to drill down. I am a man who is really cowardly.
Depressed and poor little fish
Hello, little fish:
First, there is no need to be depressed because female colleagues are richer than you, because you and them are just a relationship between parallel lines.
You neither fall in love or get married with them, you don’t need to support them, and you don’t share the money with them.
They are just your colleagues, your partners at work, and they are not even friends in life.
Everyone returns to the bridge, the road returns to the road, everyone passes through their own people, what’s there to be depressed?
As for face, you will gradually understand that it is the least important thing, and it only exists on the spiritual level, which can be light or heavy.
If you care about it, it will be as heavy as Mount Tai; if you ignore it, it will be as light as a feather.
Since you can't change the fact that you are poorer than them, you must learn to adjust your mindset, lift it up, and let it go gently.
Who stipulates that men must be richer than women?
You drive your BMW is arrogant, I drive my Nissan is also righteous. As long as you live a decent life and don’t violate the law, what are you afraid of?
isn’t it just a thick-skinned person? Is there anything I can’t learn!
Second, the more we are in adversity, the more we need a little bit of Ah Q spirit.
You need to look at this from a different perspective:
Compared with them, you have a much lower starting point, but now you can get the same salary and work with them in the same capacity.
shouldn’t you be proud of proving that you are amazing?
Many years ago, there was a popular post on the Tianya Forum "It took me 25 years to sit with you in Starbucks and drink coffee". Does the title look like my own experience?
If you don’t work hard or work hard, you can’t even see them. Don’t compare horizontally, but compare vertically with your own destiny. You are great!
Third, the circle is different, there is no need to be strongly blended. There is no need to slap in the face and integrate them into high consumption.
What you said about their consumption is high, and your pain is painful after eating and drinking. These are indeed objective problems.
And Ye Zijun believes that with your current income level, you don’t have to spend so much money to barely integrate into a circle that does not belong to you.
relationship cannot be solved by just having a meal, let alone the cost is too high for you.
What's more, the relationship between colleagues is often "ineffective social interaction", and there is really no need to be too close.
When you get off work with your colleagues? Not necessarily. In the long run, the harm outweighs the benefits.
is not as light as a gentleman's friendship. Just have an occasional dinner to indicate that you still exist.
The next time there will be a similar dinner, you will first roughly evaluate the consumption level of the selected location on the APP, and then decide whether to go according to your own situation.
Don’t have any ideological burden. Put yourself in the hat of “not getting away is not sociable”. Everything is your freedom.
In addition to having dinner, there is no need to "suffer from being face-to-face".
For example, in order to hide your poverty, you can save money and buy big brands or A-grade goods, take out a loan to buy a good car, etc.
We have worked together for decades, and your personnel file is placed on the unit. How much do you have, others know it clearly.
can't be pretended, it will only make you live a more life-like joke. It’s better to face it calmly: I’m just poor, what’s wrong?
Fourth, your top priority is to determine the direction of struggle as soon as possible, rather than establishing good relationships with colleagues.
You are 28 years old this year and you are not young at this time. However, due to the delay in the public examination, your career has just started and your personal problems still need to be solved.
There are too many suspense in life, waiting for you to defeat one by one. You don’t have much time to compete with your colleagues, and you shouldn’t spend energy on inferiority or worry about what to do if your colleagues are richer than you.
At the moment, what you should do most is to think carefully: What is your next plan? What kind of life do you want to live? What does your ideal partner look like?
After thinking it through, move forward firmly towards the goal. As for other small details, they are not worth it or important.
(Original article by Ye Zijun, plagiarism will be prosecuted)
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I am Ye Zijun. I have been working hard in the system for more than ten years, and I have been steadily speaking about my workplace experience and honestly teaching you to avoid pitfalls. Follow me and let you grow faster!
