Teacher Zhou Guoping said, "Between the sexes, it is easiest to have a physical relationship, but it is difficult to have love, and the most difficult thing is to make a good marriage withstand the test of time."
A happy marriage should have the most important things The state of the marriage is that both husband and wife are rushing to each other, and there is no possibility of one party being happy alone in the marriage. In the management of marriage, both husband and wife must shoulder their due responsibilities. It is a conscious responsibility.
No one gets married for the sake of divorce. After all, divorce is a kind of tearing that makes people feel pain and failure.
There are two ultimate reasons for the breakdown of marriage: one is embracing each other but not loving each other, and the other is loving each other but not knowing how to get along.
Today, with freedom of love, the most important reason for divorce between couples is still the latter. Therefore, getting along between husband and wife is more important than falling in love.
If you only regard yourself as the boss in your marriage, then your marriage is not far from going out of business.
01, trying to change each other
Most of the quarrels between couples are due to personality differences. For example, you have a bad temper and I am slow-tempered, I am outspoken and you keep things secretive, and so on.
The person with a strong personality always thinks that his own ideas and actions are correct, and tries to change the other person through quarrels. Change the other person's thinking, change the other person's character, and "make" the other person into what you want.
Xiaowen went crazy when faced with her husband's behavior. She said, "It's obviously his mother's fault, but why did she put all the blame on me? Their family ganged up to bully me alone."
"What do you want to achieve by quarreling?"
"I hope he and his mother will make changes. Their personalities are too stubborn."
"Why don't you change your mentality? A country is easy to change, but a nature is hard to change. , If your nature is easy to change, then you have changed long ago! "
If you stubbornly try to change the other person, you will complain more, your disappointment will be greater, and your marriage will either be filled with smoke or the relationship will be divided.
02, she has the absolute “right to speak”
Ali, who was born in the city, has a good family background and a good job. After marrying Acheng from the countryside, with the birth of two children, Acheng Consciously become a "nanny".
A Cheng, who lost his financial income, also lost his "right to speak" in his family.
But he takes care of the daily life of the two children. When his father-in-law is sick, he takes care of it alone. He is responsible for all the household chores. He can only go out to do odd jobs in his spare time.
After living like this for more than 20 years, finally when both children were married, Ah Cheng also filed for divorce from his wife.
In this marriage, I can’t see the wife’s respect for the marriage, nor can I see her in the state of being in the marriage. In fact, marriage requires mutual respect between husband and wife. A marriage without respect will not last long.
In a marriage, the one with the higher income often has the absolute "right to speak." He has the final say in everything in the family. If the imbalance between the two ends of the marriage is too serious, the family building may collapse.
03, In marriage, you are the "boss"
What is a boss? The boss is the owner of the business.
Husband and wife in marriage are two equal people. In daily life, you need to contribute to the family, and all matters at home are discussed.
People who like to read "Hunan City·Looking for Love" know that this column often reveals some stories about marriage problems.
For example, an honest and honest man works outside and gives all the money to his wife, but the wife uses the money to play cards and gamble; the couple works hard and gets rich, but the husband goes out to live with others and transfer property; as long as the husband gives money, he doesn’t want to Do your wifely duties, etc.
The last reason why marriage is a mess is that the couple has become a "boss" and "employee" relationship. Everyone uses their own "little ninety-nine" to calculate their own gains and losses and desires, which is destined to cause suspicion and distrust on both sides.
wrote at the end, Tsai Kangyong said, "Don't be too willful, because you are living for the future you.Don’t let your future self hate your present self. ”
There is no perfect marriage in the world, only a suitable marriage, because marriage is never a world of one person. Two people who join hands in marriage for love, no one does not love the other, only one cannot adapt to the other. Adapt to each other, and adapt to each other. Only by being tolerant can love last forever, stay young, and build a successful marriage.
If you love him, then let yourself grow up and give him a satisfying lover.
