A few days ago, I watched a movie "The Life of Matsuko Despised". The Matsuko was often ignored by her father when she was a child and had always lacked fatherly love. So when she grew up, she longed to get a sense of security and lack of love from love .
Even though she has experienced family violence, deception, and abandonment, she is still full of love for life, but in the end, no one gives her the sense of security she desires, and no one satisfies the love she wants.
Because of the lack of fatherly love, Matsuko is always humble in love. She only gives blindly and does not demand rewards, but in the end she is given up by her boyfriend .
Matsuko regards men as the center of their own world and completely leaves her sense of security to the other party, so all she gets is the love given by the man.
Today, Teacher Hu teaches you how to get a sense of security in marriage.
. Can dependence give you a sense of security
A few days ago I chatted with a student and I asked her what is the most perfect marriage in her heart? She said: "Of course, she is with her husband every day and depends on each other. This is the most perfect marriage!"
She and the man have been married for a year. They snuggle each other every day, and even wash their faces and brush their teeth in the morning. She also likes to rely on men in everything. She feels that even if she encounters any trouble, the man will solve it immediately. She thinks that this is love.
The first thing she does when she wakes up is to choose the clothes she wears at work, so that the man can choose, and she will wear whatever the man asks her to wear. If the man doesn't give an opinion, she will be unable to make up her own ideas.
Sometimes when she has problems at work, she will ask men for help as soon as possible. He believes that men can solve anything. In the eyes of others, they are model couples. They are very loving and never quarrel over anything.
However, sometimes depends on it but is a burden . She likes to send messages to men every few minutes when she is at work. If a man doesn't reply to messages for a few minutes, he will start bombarding the phone with text messages.
At the beginning of the marriage, the man was very satisfied with her performance and felt that this was love. Later, he gradually felt that this was a burden and he had to worry about all things big and small at home.
And after getting married, she puts men as the center of the world, and everything revolves around him, and has no social circle at all, and has begun to get out of touch with society. I don’t want to do things at home, but I can’t do things outside.
When love comes, we will think that relying on the other person is a manifestation of love, but dependence is also a sweet burden. It will only make the other person live too tired and make the other person at a loss.
She has been overly dependent on men, which will also make her lose her social circle and eventually lose herself.
so we should not be overly dependent. Over-dependence does not really give you a sense of security. When you are truly your own decision-maker, you will gain a sense of security .
2. Improve self-worth
Improve self-worth will make you stronger. When you encounter difficulties, you will not have to choose to rely on the other party. The strength of your self will allow you to gain a true sense of security and no longer feel confused about some small things you cannot do in life.
Improve self-worth by cultivating interests and hobbies, cultivating your own dressing style, and learning some knowledge. These will help you improve yourself and create a beautiful, generous and knowledgeable image.
You can also work hard to let your partner feel your positiveness, understand life, and make yourself happy.
You can learn to manage yourself. You can do whatever you can. You will strive for the hard work you want, and have a good time plan for yourself. What to do at the specified time, so that your life will not be messy, and effectively arrange what you want to do.
3. Be an emotionally independent woman
If a woman wants to be truly independent and gain her own sense of security, then she must be emotionally independent .
What is emotional independence?
Emotional independence means that you can have your own opinions emotionally, and your emotions will not change with the influence of others .
When you will no longer be hurt by the outside world and your heart is strong enough, then you will look down on the verge of being arrogant and will not defeat you, they will only become the carvings on your road to success. Make you more radiant.
Women in marriage will devote all their love to their lovers and children. They give everything, but too strong love will only suffocate others. If you don’t give the other person some space to survive because of love, then such love will only make others escape.
It is better to separate love, one for your lover and children, and one for yourself. This will also give your lover and children enough living space, and you can be better for yourself. Scholars love themselves more. They go to the beauty salon for beauty treatment when they are free, invite a few young sisters to have afternoon tea, and read more articles from the teacher when they are free, which can also improve themselves.
Only by not relying too much on others, improving self-worth, and achieving emotional and ideological independence can we gain enough love and security.
