01
. In recent years, it has become increasingly serious - the issue of bride gifts.
When it comes to the issue of bride gifts, countless young couples and prospective couples will glar at each other. Some men can't afford to give gifts, so they can only part with their partners and go their own way. In the past, we did not feel any contradictions about the "bride price" issues such as
. Today, the conflict between men and women is difficult to ease, so the "bride price problem" has been pushed to the forefront again.
Not only on the Internet, but also in real life, the issue of "bride price" has become one of the main reasons why countless people are "not married and infertile".
Many people don’t understand. It is obvious that a bride price of 200,000 to 300,000 yuan can bring a marriage. Why don’t the male family want to take out this money now?
Someone has investigated and came to a conclusion. Families who do not want to give 200,000 to 300,000 yuan have encountered these two problems.
First of all, there are not many families who can give out 200,000 to 300,000 at once. Secondly, many families have bought houses and have to pay the mortgage, so they can basically not afford a bride price of 200,000 to 300,000 yuan.
In addition, this also involves the issue of "human psychology". Just imagine, when psychological grudges and material problems arise at the same time, how many people will pay for the "marriage"?
02
In your opinion, why does this bride price cause so many problems?
An entrepreneur once said that as long as it involves "interest" issues, a father and son will cause conflicts that cannot be eased.
As for the issue of "interest", we can clearly understand the issue of "interest" from the perspective of human psychology.
The woman's parents think that I have raised my daughter for 20 or 30 years and I want the man's gift of 200,000 to 300,000 yuan. Isn't this a normal thing? can't afford to even 200,000 to 300,000, and it doesn't necessarily mean that the man has any sincerity.
The man’s parents think that I also need money to raise a son, so why do you have to give your family 200,000 to 300,000 yuan? We also need to buy a car and a house. Is this lion's mouth big, really suitable?
So, the woman's parents and the man's parents became enemies directly before they became in-laws.
As for what this couple thinks, there is no need to analyze it. It is difficult for young men to have a deposit of 200,000 or 300,000 yuan. Young girls basically listen to their parents. Therefore, countless young couples waved goodbye because of the "bride price".
can only be said that in the face of interests, no one has a distinction between "right and wrong", only whether they "get what they want". Everyone has their own little abacus, and it may not necessarily make everyone's little abacus a reality.
The emergence of the bride price conflict is related to the conflict of "interest". This kind of conflict of interests will still be the same even after a few hundred years.
03
If it is just the "conflict of interest" issue mentioned above, it can still be compromised. However, today's marriage and love seem to have new changes.
We can find that in recent years, more and more people have "flash marriage and divorce" in . There are countless couples who get married this month and divorce next month.
Why does "flash marriage and divorce" become a trend?
In fact, the more is, the greater the risk of getting married. Because nowadays, "marriage" has become one of the means to "make money quickly". We just need to look at the news in the past two years to know.
Either someone cheated on marriage yesterday, someone cheated on money today, or someone used marriage to seek benefits tomorrow. All these real situations make young men and women "feel free" about marriage. There is a saying that
is very realistic. When the environment is particularly good, the marriage relationship will remain harmonious, and there will be fewer concerns and fewer contradictions.When the environment is bad, the "profit-oriented" side of human nature appears.
Men have the intention of being profit-oriented, while women also have the intention of being profit-oriented. What's more, young people and middle-aged people today no longer believe in the so-called love. Therefore, there are also many people who are not married and infertile.
Perhaps, is not that people abandon love, but that real marriages make people unable to afford to love.
04
From the issue of bride price, to the flash marriage and divorce, to the mess after marriage. All of this made young people have doubts. Is it because they chose marriage just to suffer?
From a male perspective, many men empty their family's 6 wallets just to buy a house. got married later, and even the bride gift was borrowed, and the loan was still to be paid back after marriage.
Thinking of this, these young men will come to the conclusion that instead of suffering for an unnecessary marriage, it is better to live alone, and do not want to have too many disputes with the opposite sex.
From a female perspective, it is basically difficult for a woman to survive in the workplace after she gets married and has children, and others will not want married women. Therefore, they feel that marriage is a gamble and it is very likely that it will bury their lives.
Thinking of this, these young women will come to the conclusion that it is OK to fall in love, but not to get married. Even if you give birth, you don’t want to suffer and suffer.
In fact, Men and women have their own needs. As long as their needs cannot be met, they will have no expectations for marriage. The problem of "bride price" is precisely the fuse.
The past "what you love is separated by mountains and seas, and all the mountains and seas can be leveled", but now "marriage becomes material, transaction becomes nature." People’s pursuit has long changed. Contradictions inevitably arise. The number of families with no households has increased.
I think all this is not a problem for one party. is the bad nature of a person. In today's "material supremacy", is revealed without any hesitation, which makes people sigh and no longer have a sense of trust.
text/Shushan Youlu
