Text | Xiaojiu Za Tan Whether people get along harmoniously cannot be judged by one-sided efforts. Only by working hard in one place, thinking in one place, and communicating more can we know what the other person is thinking.

text | Xiaojiu chat

Whether people get along harmoniously cannot be judged by one-sided efforts. Only by working hard in one place, thinking in one place, and communicating more can we know what the other person is thinking.

It is said that one mountain cannot tolerate two tigers. In a family, there can only be one leader, but everyone has their own personality, especially when new blood joins the family. If both generations are very strong, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may have conflicts or the father-in-law and daughter-in-law may have conflicts. Contradictions will become apparent.

In such a relationship where they are a family but not related by blood, naturally no one will give in to anyone. In fact, if you can put yourself in the perspective of the other party, maybe many relationships between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be so difficult to deal with. , but who can easily empathize with it?

01

Xiaojuan and her husband have been married for ten years after being introduced to each other. The relationship between husband and wife has always been relatively good, but every family has its own problems. Her parents-in-law are too involved in the couple's life, which has led to serious family conflicts, which makes her also have troubles. It was very depressing, and even reached a stalemate at one point. Her mother-in-law even blocked her and her husband's mobile phones and WeChat.

Under the leadership of Xiaojuan, a group of people came to Xiaojuan's mother-in-law's home. After learning about her daughter-in-law's intention, she directly called the owners in the owner group who had nothing to do at home to come and watch. Then she explained that the reason for doing this was Because Xiaojuan treated them like this before.

Xiaojuan's sister-in-law said: "She scolded my parents in the WeChat group, and everyone could see it."

When she saw her sister-in-law treating her parents like this, the two of them began to scold each other in the group, and Xiaojuan also Then she said that when she saw her sister-in-law yelling at her, she didn't pay attention. As a result, the more she cursed, the more ugly she became, and she even cursed her parents.

Xiaojuan said angrily: "She said she asked me to save money to buy a coffin for my parents!"

After hearing the explanations of the two people, the mediator thought that what the sister-in-law and sister-in-law did was inappropriate. First, Xiaojuan posted on WeChat The act of publishing personal family conflicts is wrong in itself, and will not achieve the desired effect at all. It will only intensify conflicts. Only by recognizing your own problems can you be qualified to blame others.

My sister-in-law also admitted that she should not have been involved in the family conflicts, but she was young and energetic, and she could not sit idly by when she heard her parents being scolded. She did not do a good job in confronting her sister-in-law.

Seeing that both her aunt and sister-in-law were aware of their own problems, Xiaojuan's husband told the reason why the family had so many conflicts. The village where they were living was demolished, and the village paid a transition fee, which was 40,000 yuan that should have belonged to them. , the parents neither said anything nor told them, this incident made Xiaojuan very angry.

The young couple had no money to begin with. Xiaojuan had been taking care of the children at home, and the family had been living in a tight situation. This money could be regarded as a rain after a long drought for their family.

The parents-in-law took away the money that originally belonged to them without saying a word, and even pretended not to know when Xiaojuan specifically asked about it, which angered her daughter-in-law. That is why Xiaojuan spoke ill of her parents-in-law in the WeChat owner group!

Xiaojuan’s father-in-law admitted that his daughter-in-law had indeed called to inquire about the money. He also promised to give it to his daughter-in-law by the end of the year. In fact, he did not deliberately conceal it. It happened to be that his family was renovating the house, so he did not transfer the money in time. Give them money.

After hearing his explanation, the mediator believed that Xiaojuan's parents-in-law had done something wrong. Since the child was married and had his own family, no matter what he did that required money, at least he had to pay them first. Just say hello and say it right before spending money so that nothing will happen later.

After hearing what the mediator said, Xiaojuan's mother-in-law explained that they actually used the money to decorate their son's house. She hoped that Xiaojuan would not misunderstand them.

After the village was demolished, their family was divided into several houses. After all, the old couple, a son and a daughter, all the property in the family belonged to the son, and the money was spent on renovating the house for the son.

After the misunderstanding was resolved, the mediator believed that when the wife felt resentful, she should actually communicate with her husband first, find her parents-in-law, and explain the matter calmly instead of venting all her inner thoughts and resentment to the group. The daughter-in-law asked While her parents-in-law will be embarrassed, it will also make the neighbors talk about her.

She said to Xiaojuan: "You are responsible for your own actions. If you post it, you post it. No matter what others do, it is your own choice whether to post it or not."

02

Xiaojuan's mother-in-law said angrily: "Since she If you can send it out, you think I'm sorry for her, it's all my fault, I admit it."

It can be seen that she is still very upset about Xiaojuan's behavior of insulting them in public, and the mediator also thinks that Xiaojuan's problem is not a problem. Instead of choosing to resolve the issue within the family, they want to put pressure on the parents-in-law through public opinion, escalating a small family conflict that could have been resolved quietly into a major conflict that cannot be resolved.

Even if Xiaojuan’s behavior was too reckless, it was because her parents-in-law were at fault first. If each of them is aware of their own problems, there is actually no principled issue between them. In fact, both parties did not communicate correctly, but both used wrong words. It's just a way to vent your emotions.

Mother-in-law Xiaojuan admitted that she did not do some things well, such as not caring about her daughter-in-law's confinement period, but her heart was always with her son and his family. Her biggest wish was that her son, daughter-in-law, and their family of four would live a good life.

Seeing her mother-in-law's confession, Xiaojuan also admitted that she had given a lot in the ten years since she married into this family, but she always felt that she had not received the respect she deserved. Sometimes her parents-in-law were indeed very good to them, but at the same time they were nice. Very strong.

There are so many conflicts at home because there is no communication at all. As a member of the family, she hopes that her parents-in-law can proactively tell her when they encounter problems. She is not unreasonable. There are some words. There is actually nothing left after opening it.

Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were aware of their problems and put forward their own suggestions for their future life. However, during the whole process, the mediator discovered that Xiaojuan's husband, who was supposed to be the protagonist, seemed to be a transparent person and did not say a word.

In fact, no matter what the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law say, if he still does nothing as before, there will still be conflicts in the family. The mediator hopes that he will take up his responsibilities and be a good lubricant between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. No matter how strong the parents are, they think in their hearts It's them, whether it's his parents or his wife, he should weigh their respective relationships.

At this point, Xiaojuan also took the initiative to admit her mistake. She said: "I admit that I was wrong when I sent the message in the community group. I'm sorry."

Xiaojuan's husband also expressed his apology to his parents again for his wife's behavior. See Seeing the attitude of his son and daughter-in-law, Father-in-law Xiaojuan's eyes suddenly became moist. He hoped that his son would be nicer to him and his wife in the future. They only had one son, and everything they had would belong to his son in the future. He would not really want them. thing.

Grandma Xiaojuan also said that she is a hard-spoken but soft-hearted person. In the future, she will also learn to let go of her knot and learn to communicate well with her daughter-in-law!

They all say that if you want to solve a problem, you have to make it as small as possible. In fact, there is no family without friction. Everyone is obsessed with their own thoughts and does not communicate. If you rely solely on the other party's guesses, of course, various problems will arise, and misunderstandings will also occur. Keep deepening.

Sometimes, when a person cannot control his emotions, it will affect a person's IQ. It is said that you should not do anything when you are angry, because no matter what decision you make, you will regret it. The adult world is very hard. Be a considerate person, understand others and let go of yourself.

As an elder, I have been thinking about my children all my life, but I don’t want to be misunderstood by my children. I have done some things, but due to improper methods, there is a gap between us. In fact, it is not difficult to say something. Even if you don’t communicate directly with your daughter-in-law, you can definitely communicate with her. The son said that this way he would not end up in a thankless situation.

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What would you do if your parents-in-law took your money privately? Welcome to discuss together!