They all say that if you want to live a decent life, you must have a little green in your body. My man's condition is wrong. I also thought that one day he might have an affair. If he spent money to find a young and beautiful woman, I wouldn't be so uncomfortable.
But in the end, I found an old woman who has a family and children and is four years older than me. What do you think of me?
The above is the conversation between my client Ms. Qi and me. He cannot accept a man cheating on her. An old woman cannot accept that this woman is still the daughter-in-law of a friend. Now she has only one request, to return her life to its previous state.
The following is Ms. Qi’s detailed description:
My husband’s company and I often have holidays, and sometimes we have more time during a week’s holiday than at work. Our children are working in other places and there is nothing to worry about, so we are particularly willing to participate in some tours. group.
is a one-day tour. The location is in some mountains and rivers around the city. You can sign up for more than 50 yuan. The people in the group are all similar to us, a fun-loving couple.
Gradually, we made some regular friends in these tour groups. Later, due to the new crown , this kind of hiking group was not allowed to be held, so we formed a group of our own and held some activities from time to time.
Fishing, picnics, mountain climbing, etc. I enjoyed this kind of life very much, but I didn’t expect that later I found out that the man had cheated on me. I recognized the mistress at a glance as the wife of a friend in the group.
In the past, I always joked with men, saying that other men are having extramarital affairs, why don’t you do it? How about I give you some money and you can try it too? My husband always calls me a tiger, and I feel completely at ease with him at that time.
I didn’t expect that in the end he would attack someone close to him, including his friend’s wife. The mistress was not very beautiful and was four years older than me. This really gave me a big blow.
If he spends money to find a younger man, although I can’t say that I accept it, at least it will be easier. Because he is younger, I really can’t compare. I can also understand why men cheat, but he found someone older than him. I'm still older.
I used to enjoy life very much, but now I can't accept a man's cheating, and I'm afraid that it will mess up my life if I can't handle it well, so I hope the teacher can help me, let the man break up with his mistress without offending the man. Well, don't make too much noise.
Analysis
Through communication with Ms. Qi, Chenxi can feel that the reason why she does not want to divorce is because she has lived with a man for so many years, so she must have feelings.
The second Ms. Qi is a [rational life type] original wife . She enjoys her current lifestyle very much and does not want to let the small life she is used to suffer in order to deal with the problem of cheating.
But Ms. Qi already had a hurdle that she couldn't overcome. The standard for a man to cheat on his mistress was too low. It was understandable to leave a yellow-faced woman to find a young man. Leaving a yellow-faced woman and finding another yellow-faced woman, what are you trying to do?
In fact, this is easy to understand. Although the mistress is four years older than the original wife and has a family, in the eyes of women, she must be a mess, but in the eyes of men, this kind of old mistress is the perfect cheating partner.
In fact, many middle-aged men are "cheerful but not courageous" when it comes to cheating. Do you think that a man of such an age would have a relationship with a mistress? They just use cheating as a "flavor" for boring daily life.
Men are very rational. The first priority in their hearts is the stability of life. Don’t let me take care of anything. Don’t let me worry about anything. However, many mistresses have high risks and are either easily discovered or easily taken over. Men I'm afraid that the fundamentals will collapse.
Then you may be curious. If Ms. Qi’s husband chose a friend’s wife, wouldn’t the risk factor be higher? In fact, this is not the case. The mistress also has a family, so there is no risk of rising to the top.
Moreover, the mistress will also help the man maintain his home. The mistress that Ms. Qi’s husband met even thought of asking the man to bring cash when he went out to avoid the discovery of transaction records.
Moreover, the old mistress is not like the young mistress, who can lose temper and be clingy. They can tell the man what he wants to hear in every word.
Therefore, in the eyes of middle-aged men, this kind of mistress has no risk and is very comfortable to get along with. The two of them cheated just for the novelty without having to pay a big financial price.
is simply cheating - a perfect match.
Only then did Ms. Qi understand what the man was thinking. Ms. Qi felt that since the mistress was also afraid of being discovered by her husband, then we should report the mistress.
But I stopped her crazy idea, because there is a difference between a man cheating and a woman cheating. When a man is caught cheating, he goes home to coax his wife instead. When a woman is caught cheating, her first reaction is to get divorced and find a way to get her. The lover takes him in.
And no one can guarantee that the mistress’s husband will be able to accept it after knowing that the mistress cheated. If the mistress gets divorced, she will change from a mistress with no risk of becoming a mistress to one with a risk of becoming a superior.
And it was you who made her lose her husband. If she doesn’t snatch your husband, who will? Destroying Xiaosan's fundamentals will only make the problem more troublesome.
The correct solution now is to adjust the relationship between yourself and the man, let the mistress know that her husband will not divorce her, and then use some small tricks to arouse the mistress' jealousy.
For example, spraying your own perfume on the clothes worn by men, posting happy selfies of yourself and the man on the news, etc. are all trivial actions, but they are enough to open the door to the mistress's jealousy.
Gradually, the mistress will have resentment towards the man, and then when we hear the news of the mistress’ cheating around us, the mistress will find out. The man did not accept his idea, and the men in his own family were about to discover the clues. If this continues, everything will be in vain.
In this way, the mistress will retreat. If Ms. Qi makes it clear to the man that there is no room for two tigers in one mountain, the man will naturally go home obediently.
I have been busy with Ms. Qi’s case for about a month, and there are many mistress types like her husband around you. They may be your best friends, sisters, or the man’s colleagues and classmates. Once
is provoked, it will be difficult to separate without finding the right way, because the other party has no need to be superior, so it is not easy to engage in psychological warfare with the other party.
If you encounter such a situation, you must seize the time to consult a professional, for example - follow the private message Chenxi.
Maybe you can also simply chat like Ms. Qi and solve the problem.
