"I'm so stupid, really. I only know that when it snows, the wild beasts have no food in the mountain col and will come to the village... I'm still holding the small basket tightly in my hand..." This is Mr. Lu Xun In the article "Blessings" written by Xianglin's wife , what she said to the protagonist after her child passed away. Later, she would repeat it every time she saw someone else. At first, everyone sympathized with her, but after Mrs. Xianglin said it too many times, many people took it as a joke and felt very impatient every time they heard it.
When some people encounter sad things, they like to talk to others in order to get comfort or help from the other person. However, repeating one thing over and over will ruin the other person's mood and even make them feel disgusted. Xiaolu recently had a quarrel with her boyfriend, which eventually led to their breakup. She was very sad, but luckily she had friends with her. One night in the middle of the night, Xiaolu thought of her ex-boyfriend again, and felt very painful, so she called a friend for comfort. While crying, Xiaolu said to her friend: "He's really gone too far. He can't handle even the smallest things like this and wants to break up with me. He doesn't love me at all. He let go of the relationship for so many years... "
The friend on the phone looked at her watch. It was already past one o'clock in the middle of the night. She was very angry when she was woken up from her sleep. She yawned and said, "Then you should go back and get back together with him."
"How is that possible? Doesn't that mean I'm giving up?" Xiaolu said angrily.
"Okay, you can do whatever you want. I have to go to work tomorrow, so I'll hang up first." After saying that, my friend hung up the phone and went back to sleep.
Xiaolu was very angry, so she called another friend to seek comfort, but the other friend also didn't want to hear it: "You have said these words over and over again countless times. We all know that he is sorry for you, but now It's midnight, can you please let me go?" After that, he hung up the phone. Xiaolu was very angry and thought that her friend was not loyal at all. She was so sad that she could not listen to her talk.
Many times, sad things have a negative and tragic color. Maybe when you hear something like this for the first time, you will feel very sympathetic to the other person. However, after hearing it too many times, such negative things will greatly affect people's mood. As the saying goes: "Share happy things with others, and the happiness will become twice as much; share painful things with others, and the pain will become half. That is to say, when you talk to others about sad things, the pain will become half." Infect the other person with your emotions and let others bear your pain. However, no one is obliged to bear your misfortune. Out of the friendship of a friend, he can comfort you when you talk to him for the first time, but he has no obligation. In the days to come, listening to you tell you about unfortunate things repeatedly will ruin your mood.
When many people tell others about unfortunate things, they often do so with the purpose of venting their dissatisfaction, and many times, bad emotions are contagious. Characteristics. When others realize that your affairs will have a negative impact on their lives, they will exclude you from their social circle.
In fact, the biggest purpose of often telling others about unfortunate things is for you. Getting help from others and letting others help you through difficulties will not do any good to improve your personal abilities. Sometimes difficulties and setbacks are not a bad thing. When you overcome them, you will find it. Your personal ability has been qualitatively improved. If you encounter difficulties and want to trouble others, you will leave a bad impression of "incompetent and troublesome" to the other party.
So, be careful. When you encounter something sad, don't always think about relying on others. Finding a way to overcome it bravely is the first and most important thing you have to do.
2018 is simply Xiaowen's bad luck. year.This year, my boyfriend of four years fell in love with someone else and broke up with her; my father was diagnosed with liver cancer and faced huge medical expenses; while at work, a colleague from the team showed up somewhere The mistake caused significant financial losses to the company, the entire team was fired, and she lost an important source of income.
A series of bad things almost defeated her. However, there was no look of pain on her face at all. What she posts in her circle of friends is always things that exude positive energy.
As 2018 passed, Xiaowen got over the shadow of broken love and worked hard to improve herself; she found a new job with a salary that was twice as high as before; her father's disease was found to be in an early stage and it is completely possible to be cured. She still looks radiant every day. Later, her friends found out what happened to her and comforted her, asking her why she didn't tell them and they could help.
Xiaowen smiled and said: "There is no need to talk about the pain in your heart to everyone. If you don't live it, how can you empathize with it? Everyone has troubles, and even if you talk to others, the problem will not be solved. After all, , No one can suffer for you, and talking too much will only cause trouble for others. You still need to handle your own affairs. "
Talking endlessly will not fundamentally solve the problem, but will change a person's character. Got to be weaker and weaker. People with high emotional intelligence will immediately look for solutions when encountering sad things, rather than talking to others. Therefore, when interacting with others, don't always complain to others, as this will only aggravate others.
