In consultation work, they often encounter such a group of visitors. After breaking up, they are still full of ex-boys in their minds, and they feel a little crazy.
When they seek consultation and help, they like to ask certain types of questions. For example: Teacher, does he still love me? Does he still have me in his heart? What does he mean when he does this?
In other words, after the breakup, their entire focus was still on their ex, and eventually their lives were stagnant and depressed. This state is actually quite uncomfortable, because my mind is full of ex-boys, which means that I can’t think about food, sleep at night, and work and study are all affected, just like a walking zombie.
However, in actual consultation, I will not guess the other person’s thoughts and pay attention to the other person’s words and deeds with the client, but will bring the focus back to the client himself and understand what the client’s own thoughts and his emotions are like.
It’s not that you can’t guess the other person’s thoughts, it’s just that there is no point, because a person’s thoughts are erratic. Except for himself, no one may understand what a person’s true thoughts are. What's more, a person's ideas will change. If you think like this today and tomorrow, you will never be able to guess accurately. After all, there may be no fixed answer at all.
Some two people in a relationship are divided into high and low positions. People in high positions can dominate the continuation or giving up of a relationship, while people in low positions often cannot decide whether to continue or giving up the relationship, so they can only follow the decisions of those in high positions.
In this case, you are in a low position and often feel insecure because you are afraid of losing the other person. So you will keep thinking about it, paying attention to the other person’s little things, guessing the other person’s thoughts, hoping to find some clues, grasp some things, and make yourself feel more at ease.
If you want to get rid of this state, you need to focus on yourself and return to your needs, similar to asking yourself a question first, that is: Is this person still what you want?
Don’t keep thinking about whether the other party wants to do so or not, don’t put yourself in a selected position, otherwise you will have no dominance. Only by thinking clearly about what your needs are can you get what you want with practical efforts.
If you weigh the trade-offs and find that this person is no longer what he wants, then what does he think? Do he still have himself in his heart? Why keep consuming yourself for someone you don’t want? Just live your own life well.
If you finally find out, you still want to be with the other party. Then you need to think more about how to win back your ex, and then put the method of recovery into action, so that you can finally get the result you want.
Only when you know your own thoughts and needs can you get the life you want. Otherwise, you will always guess the other person’s thoughts and keep pretending to the other person, and the other person will not bring you happiness. It is more likely that the other person has been looking for a new love long ago, and you are the only one who is complaining about yourself.
Happy~
