Life is like a train that keeps moving forward. Your ex is the person who accompanies you for a while but gets off halfway. There will always be people who get off and people who get on. Some people can only accompany you for a while, and some people I can accompany you through t

Lin Weiyin once wrote in her book "The Years of Passing":

A journey of landscape,

A passerby,

A story,

When leaving,

no one has to answer to anyone.

Life is like a train that keeps running forward. Your ex is the person who accompanies you for a while but gets off halfway. There will always be people who get off and people who get on. Some people can only accompany you for a part of the way, and some People can accompany you throughout the journey.

There will always be several romances in a person's life. For his ex, some people bless him, and some people criticize him. When he is in love, it seems like holding hands and hugging him forever. When he is not in love, he wishes he had never met before.

Fu Seoul once said: "A qualified ex should be as if he is dead. Her future relationships have nothing to do with you and are all ghost marriages."

This is the most ideal state, but there are a few people Can it be done? Boys love and hate their exes, and girls have grudges against their boyfriends' exes. In some relationships, their exes always chase them like shadows, which makes everyone exhausted.

1,

I remember there is a movie called " I want to be good with you ". The heroine played by Ni Ni asked him about her ex when she first got together with the hero.

The male protagonist played by Feng Shaofeng was originally unwilling to talk about this issue at first, fearing that it would make his girlfriend unhappy, but Ni Ni behaved generously and confidently: "If you dare to speak, I dare to listen."

The boyfriend also took it for granted that it was all in the past, so he just said it, and his girlfriend probably wouldn’t really care, so he told his girlfriend everything about his ex.

He originally thought that his frankness would definitely make his girlfriend trust him more, but he did not expect that after hearing this, his girlfriend said sadly: "Why do you have so many ex-girlfriends?"

After learning about his ex-girlfriend, his girlfriend She started to suffer from paranoia . She was always worried that her boyfriend would contact her ex-girlfriends. She also didn’t believe that her boyfriend only loved her now. She started to track her boyfriend’s whereabouts, deleted suspicious calls from her boyfriend’s phone, kept checking, and threatened...

My boyfriend was very patient at first, thinking this was a sign of his girlfriend's love for him, and he even coaxed her. But as time went on, he couldn't stand it anymore, and their relationship deteriorated sharply.

This is like a true portrayal of many couples. The boy feels that things with his ex are in the past and there is nothing worth fussing about, but his girlfriend becomes suspicious after knowing about it. Especially if the boy has any contact with his ex, his girlfriend will The quarrel caused a lot of trouble for the relationship between the two people.

Many boys are also surprised, why do girls care so much about their exes? It was clearly in the past, why was she still so angry? Today let’s talk about why girls care about their boyfriend’s ex.

2. Why do girls care so much about their boyfriend’s ex?

Why do girls care so much about their boyfriend’s ex? This is also because many women have “spiritual mysophobia” when it comes to relationships. They have strong principles in how they treat relationships and long for pure love and loyal lovers.

1. Black and white thinking mode

In order to save energy, human beings have evolved binary thinking. A thing is either good or bad. This can help us save a lot of energy in making decisions.

The emotional manifestation of dualistic thinking is that if a person belongs to me, then he completely belongs to me, regardless of his past or future, he is mine. Otherwise, he will feel uncomfortable. Some girls are like this. thinking mode, so they are very concerned about their boyfriend's past.

2. The ex is the "stain" of the current relationship

Everyone has a past. What women care about is not your past, but that you have brought your past into your current life. No matter who you are, you don't want others to always exist in your life. Mark of.

Just like the heroine played by Ni Ni, when she didn't know about her boyfriend's ex, the two of them were very affectionate, but once she knew a lot about her boyfriend's ex, it became a problem for her. She was extremely concerned about it and couldn't wait to put it aside. It was only possible to erase all the boyfriend’s exes, but the result was a great harm to the relationship between the two of them.

Your girlfriend will think that your ex is a "stain" in your current relationship. She doesn't know that you are okay with your ex. Once she finds out, she will feel very unhappy. It's like a girl buying a new dress and it gets stained with oil after wearing it for a while. She felt it was very annoying, and she was no longer full of joy. She just wanted to wipe it off quickly and return to the way her clothes were intact.

This is like buying a house. It is a second-hand house, but the pots, pans, household items and even many photos used by the previous owner are still there. Do you need to clean them up before you can move in with peace of mind and feel that this place belongs to you? your.

3. Unbalanced mind

A girl is a strange creature. Her beauty is often not for men to see, but for the purpose of overwhelming other women. In public places, she will be happy only if she feels that she is more beautiful than other women.

So when she learns about her boyfriend’s ex, she will start to become curious unconsciously, can’t help but peek into her boyfriend’s ex’s circle of friends, and will unconsciously compare herself with her ex, thinking that she must be better than her ex. .

If her ex is very good, she will start to feel inferior again, fearing that her boyfriend still likes her ex, and then start to have random thoughts. Some of her boyfriend's normal behaviors will also be associated with her ex, and if she is not so enthusiastic, she will wonder if her boyfriend wants to get back together with her ex. Already? Suspicious every day.

They will unconsciously collect things that their boyfriend and his ex have done. If her boyfriend has done many things with his ex but has not done it with her, she will be very disappointed, and she will also feel that her boyfriend still loves her ex more, and her psychology will begin. Unbalanced, I feel that I have given so much but still cannot get the love from my boyfriend. There is a big gap in my heart, and I can no longer give wholeheartedly to the relationship.

4. Feeling humiliated

If a boy only has an ex, but the two have broken up and have nothing to do with each other, girls are generally more accepting. However, if a boy has been disconnected from his ex, this is a problem for most girls. An insult.

Since you are not done with your ex, you should not continue to look for a girlfriend. How can a person's heart accommodate two people at the same time? If you can't give others a complete heart, don't provoke others. Girls nowadays are very proud and deserve undivided love.

This is a kind of betrayal to your current partner, which will make your current partner feel that your pure feelings have been deceived. If you think your ex is good, you can explain it to her and go directly to her. Don't use other people's love to help you get over your emotional pain.

Especially if your ex is not as good as your girlfriend, but your boyfriend still kneels and licks you all the time, your ex can lust after him and want to go away. The girl will only look down on her boyfriend and feel that he has no backbone and no responsibility, and the relationship will naturally deteriorate. problem appear.

5, cultural influence

Nowadays, the whole society preaches the need to be loyal to relationships. Even in a country as open as the United States, you can make many friends before getting married, but you must remain loyal to your partner after marriage.

Love is free, but feelings have a bottom line. In marriage, emotional loyalty is also protected by national law. This shows that this is the consensus of the entire society.

Under the influence of such a culture, people who have grown up in modern times treat relationships in this way. They all know that good love must be wholehearted, and people who always mess with women have problems with their character.

Therefore, when dealing with relationships, you naturally require your partner to treat you wholeheartedly and not be disconnected from others when you are in love. Love is inherently selfish. If we want to respect love, we must be loyal to our lover. .

6. Girls like to make up their minds.

Girls are very imaginative people. They will make up a lot of details about a thing, especially girls who are good at making associations. For example, if you tell her that you watched the sunrise with your ex, she may I will imagine how you hung out affectionately, how you kissed sweetly while watching the sunrise, and other details.

No one can accept intimate scenes between their current and ex-partners, but girls can easily make up these plots. After they make up the plot, they can't accept it, they will be jealous, and they will be very painful.

Maybe you just said it casually or out of necessity, but she has already imagined a big drama in her mind, and then she will look very displeased with you, because when she sees you, she will think of you and her in her mind. You may have never done something your ex did, but she will imagine that you have done it.

She will look very displeased with you, and any of your actions may accidentally anger her. When you are still confused, she is already furious, just because she is furious by the picture in her mind. She was jealous, but she couldn't say it out yet because she didn't want to confirm that the facts were really what she thought.

But you can't let yourself go, you can't stop thinking about it, and you will be very entangled, defending you and getting angry at the same time. You can digest it once or twice, but it will definitely have an impact on your relationship if it happens more times.

3. Things to note when talking about your ex

1. Don’t take the initiative to talk about your ex

You and your ex have broken up and have a new partner. When chatting, try not to take the initiative to bring up your ex. Do not contact each other unless there is nothing to do, and keep a safe distance. Don't recall the good times of the past. What you should do is to manage your current love well and cherish the people you have now.

And originally, girls are more concerned about their exes. If you don’t tell her, she can pretend that she doesn’t know anything and won’t care about it. If you keep mentioning your ex, it will only make her feel that your old relationship is unforgettable, make her care more about her ex, and have a negative impact on you. The feeling of distrust will be very harmful to your feelings.

2. Be generous and understated when chatting.

Sometimes girls ask about your ex. In fact, they may just ask casually to see your attitude. If you talk about your ex, you will be coy and hesitate to speak. , an attitude of forgetting old love will only increase her curiosity and suspicion, making her feel that there is something going on between you.

Modern people all have several relationships, which is inevitable, so when talking about your ex, it is better to talk openly, but you must be understated. Briefly introduce that you did have a girlfriend, but they were all in the past. When it comes to matters, you must avoid the major points and minimize the details when talking about things with your ex.

No matter how generous a girl is, she doesn’t want to hear how wonderful the love between her boyfriend and her ex-girlfriend is, and she also wants her boyfriend to love her more, so she can mention it briefly, but she must handle it gently to make her girlfriend feel that the matter is over. Yes, now it’s completely broken, there’s no need to ask any questions, and it gives my girlfriend a full sense of security.

3. Change the topic and praise your current one.

When talking about your ex, be sure not to talk endlessly to make your girlfriend feel that you still care about her so much. After chatting for a few words, quickly find a way to change the topic. For example, after chatting for a few words about your ex, you can talk about your outlook on love. Explain your loyal view of love and reassure your girlfriend.

Never say how good your ex is, learn to praise your current one, express your deep love for her, be happy with her, and outline your future with her. Which girl doesn’t like others to praise her, especially her beloved When you praise her, she will feel that you love her very much, and her heart will be full of confidence and security.

Women have "emotional mysophobia" when it comes to relationships, but on the other hand, they will also abide by their emotional loyalty and love you wholeheartedly. Love is inherently selfish and full of exclusivity. When you are with someone, you must love well. She, don't be half-hearted. This is not only respect for your lover, but also respect for yourself.