#giveoneselfa小红花# Women may not be able to appreciate the hardships of running a good marriage and taking care of a family until they get married... The beginning of marriage. Marriage is the turning point that changed my life. Although I was mentally prepared, I was still unprep

The beginning of marriage

Marriage was the turning point that changed my life. Although I was mentally prepared, I was still unprepared when difficulties came.

5 years ago, I chose to marry far away without any hesitation. I did not back down despite the warnings and persuasion from my family before marriage. Without the company of her parents, she was alone, stubborn and desperate to marry into an unfamiliar place.

My husband and I are in a free love relationship. Neither of us takes love very seriously. In the process of falling in love, they can rely on each other more. Their personalities are complementary, and their academic qualifications and abilities are equally matched. We also happened to talk about the marriageable age, so he wanted to marry, and I was willing to marry, and I was also willing to trust each other for the rest of our lives and to be companions for the rest of our lives...

The interpersonal relationships in my husband's family are a bit simple...

My husband grew up in a single-parent family. I have an older sister who was raised by her grandparents. Although I have not severed ties with my biological mother, I rarely have contact with her. I only met her once on my wedding day. Judging from her appearance, she was a very ordinary housewife with two children. She must have been a "good wife".

As for...my mother-in-law, I have admired her very much since I met her. After all, I have been single since I turned 35. How difficult is it for a single mother to raise her son independently for so many years? Even though I didn't witness her life experience with my own eyes, I was moved by her strength. Besides, my mother-in-law seems to be kind and has good intentions, and she does everything herself. After marriage, we did not live together due to work reasons. Therefore, there should be no problem in getting along harmoniously between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Family balance

In the two years after marriage, my husband and I were busy with our own jobs. I don't have any plans to have children for the time being, but...I don't specifically use contraception either.

Until, in the third year of marriage, a new life was unexpectedly welcomed...

This was also the beginning of breaking the peaceful married life. Moreover, none of us expected what happened next... After I became pregnant, I continued to work as usual, but my husband was sent abroad due to work needs.

And because my husband did not take the initiative to refuse this rare job assignment. As a result, the Libra of the marriage lost its balance, which deprived me of my reliance on him and left me to be strong alone...

After my husband went abroad, my mother-in-law moved in with me. Although they are not biological mothers, they can respect each other as guests. In addition, I still insist on going to work, from 9 to 5 every day, and the close contact between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is only at the dining table.

The arrival of my mother-in-law helps me alleviate the hard work of housework and cooking. It also allowed me to work while expecting childbirth with peace of mind.

But...it would be great if it always works like this!

When I was about seven months pregnant, my mother-in-law suddenly suffered a stroke and collapsed in the kitchen. No one knows the exact time when the onset of the disease occurred. I came home from get off work and called an ambulance to take her to the hospital...

This was the first time in my life that I faced such an unexpected situation. I was worried and scared at the time. I hurriedly went to the hospital with my big belly. I was panicking and crying and called my husband abroad for help.

At that time, my husband’s work assignment was scheduled to last for two years. When he decided to go, he had no intention of returning to China halfway. So, he contacted his sister to go to the hospital to take care of his mother-in-law, but I... could only take care of myself ~

My mother-in-law stayed in the hospital for nearly half a month, and I couldn't do anything except visiting every 2-3 days. busy. I saw her lying on the bed, unable to speak or move. I looked at my big belly again, which was almost eight months pregnant. Suddenly, tears flowed down unsatisfactorily...

What is this! A good person, a good life... suddenly the sky is falling, forcing people to collapse.

Originally, she was looking forward to giving birth to a baby, but she always relied on her mother-in-law. Now... I have to face it alone. The fear of giving birth for the first time kept me awake, but the company took good care of me and granted me extra maternity leave.

But... what I lack is not care and care, but someone I can rely on and be close to!

Learn to be strong from the collapse

When no one around me can help me, I can only ask my parents for help. The mountains are long and the rivers are far away. It is not easy for them to travel once. Plus, none of them have retired yet. Not only do we have crops to take care of at home, but my mother is also one of the few remaining primary school teachers in the village. No matter how much you love me and leave your family affairs to take care of me, you can't stay away from home for too long...

So, when I saw my parents and cried in my arms, I learned to regret that I insisted on staying away from home. The decision to marry.

After all...it was precisely because of Dang's insistence that he was now helpless. In the end, I was so tired that my parents accompanied me to bear it. The burden in my heart really made me collapse and feel ashamed.

Dad went back after I gave birth to the child safely. I have been away from home to take care of me for nearly a month. I have always asked relatives and friends to take care of the farm work at home. After all, after being away from home for too long, I started to feel sorry for myself emotionally. Seeing that I gave birth to normally and the baby is healthy, he can rest assured and go back first...

Mom should actually go back to school long ago, but in order for me to have a good confinement period, she can't bear to see me and the baby unattended. , I have been asking for leave from school to stay with me and take care of my postpartum daily life.

Later, because I felt really sorry, I felt that my body was not particularly weak after the natural birth. So, half a month after the baby was born, I asked my mother to go back too. When my mother left, she was still worried about me. But I also know that no matter how big the difficulties in marriage and family are, I still need to face and bear them myself.

Take on obligations and responsibilities

Before I gave birth, my mother-in-law was taken home by my eldest sister to take care of her. When the baby was born, the eldest sister went to the hospital to visit her and left the hospital after knowing that the birth was safe and normal.

I only learned about my mother-in-law’s condition from the doctor when she was hospitalized. It is a mild stroke, and only after a long period of care and rehabilitation training can we know the approximate recovery situation. But... the chance of being able to return to a normal life and take care of himself is not high.

After my parents came home, I had to adjust my mentality to face everything around me. Mother-in-law... Although she didn't let me take care of her for the time being, I also heard hints from my husband's remote phone calls. After all, the eldest sister has two children of her own, and she also has her parents-in-law to be filial to. If she has been accompanying and caring for a person who cannot take care of himself for a long time, she will definitely have to face a lot of pressure and family conflicts. The only way to avoid this kind of family conflict and to eventually take over the responsibility of taking care of my mother-in-law is destined to be on me.

But who can take over my responsibility of taking care of a newborn baby day and night? After giving birth to the child, almost all my time and energy were divided. During the day, I had to take care of the child's eating and drinking, while spending time making soup and cooking to supplement myself with nutrients to ensure that I had enough milk to feed the child.

At night...it is simply the beginning of a nightmare. Like all new mothers, I couldn't close my eyes almost the whole night. I was either holding my crying child to comfort me, or feeding and changing diapers in a dizzy state...

In the daily care of newborn babies, I suffered in every possible way. To adapt to this kind of fascinating day and night. Because there was no one around me to rely on, I could only suffer from sleepless nights. The bitter feeling of physical and mental exhaustion and powerlessness I still cannot forget.

As a first-time mother, I know very well that I have to endure these difficult days in order to be relieved. Time has been accompanying me to slowly master the art of parenting, and it has also gradually eased my physical and mental exhaustion...

But... I still haven't had a day to relax...

My mother-in-law is recuperating at my eldest sister's house and taking care of Jin Da half a year. Finally, when she was sent back to me, she was back to her best condition. Although he cannot walk, he can be helped to sit in a wheelchair; he can communicate simply, and he has also learned to eat slowly by himself.

In order to sympathize with me and take care of an old and a young child on my own, my husband originally wanted to ask relatives and friends to find a nanny whom he knew well to take care of them. However, due to the outbreak of the epidemic in 2019 and the closure of the country in recent years, all parts of the country are on alert to fight against the epidemic. No matter how good the arrangements are, they cannot keep up with the changes...

In the final analysis...I can't hide from what I have to bear, even if I want to. In order to be able to concentrate on taking care of the children and the elderly at home, I had to quit my job and start a helpless life of raising children and supporting the elderly at home.

My mother-in-law lives with me. Without a nanny, it will definitely increase my burden. Fortunately... my eldest sister is not completely indifferent. She will take time out to help take care of my mother-in-law for half a day every 2-3 days. Mainly helping to give my mother-in-law a bath, making a clean bed and cleaning the room.

I saw all this, and I understood that her intention was to appease me and stop complaining...

Feeling her persistence, I slowly let go of this family accident and trauma. I am also determined to strengthen myself again, and while raising my children well, I am also responsible for taking care of my mother-in-law's daily life.

I survived these difficult days

which made me feel depressed and miserable. It was not until my son learned to walk and my husband returned to China after three years of delay due to the epidemic that I finally took a breath.

Maybe it’s because there is finally someone in this family who can share the burden. When I think about the pain and fatigue after menstruation, I no longer have to support myself helplessly. I felt so relieved... Actually, I burst into tears of gratitude the moment I saw my husband...

I was fully prepared for this difficult journey, which I endured silently for nearly 3 years. For the first time in my life, I am a wife, daughter-in-law, and mother, trying my best to turn the tide for this family and ride the wind and waves...

Although I can't say how great it is, I still have the courage to move forward bravely. Looking forward to the future, perhaps... we still need to overcome obstacles. However, I always believe in the belief that "if the clouds open, the moon will shine". Give yourself a little red flower to encourage the courage and strength in every bitterness...