Text | Charoyan
Pictures | Network/Invasion and Deletion
Every year, May 20th has become a day for showing off flowers, gifts and red envelopes in WeChat Moments, just because this day has a special name - "520". Homophony for " I love you ".
Everyone hopes that others will love them. Many people use this as a measure of happiness. However, everyone knows that if they place their happiness on others, they will be disappointed sooner or later.
Because everything external to is full of uncertainty , what desires, others may or may not give it to you. It may be as you want today, but once there is a change, your happiness will collapse in an instant.
True happiness comes from the power of oneself . No matter how others think of you or treat you, you should always have the confidence to make yourself confident, open-minded and optimistic.
Such confidence cannot be given by anyone. It comes from the love of oneself.
01Love yourself and take everything for yourself
Gorky said: " To make everything around you shine, you should also be like a candle. Burn . ”
Some people encounter difficulties in themselves. When they are young, they always complain about their bad luck, bad luck, or that their relatives and friends do not help them. They never know how to reflect on their problems and think about how to get out of trouble. Such people take themselves very seriously. Too small and weak, lacking self-love and self-responsibility.
An old classmate of mine, Ah Xin, was like this. When he was young, he was good-looking, had a stable job, and had a good family background. However, due to his own personality, three marriages failed and he encountered a career crisis. He was unemployed for many years and relied on his parents for a long time. pension to live on.
Every time when classmates meet, the topics that Ah Xin talks about most are, "So-and-so is doing so well, but he doesn't help me find a job", "So-and-so is so rich, but he doesn't bring his brothers to share it with him." ..., the words are full of complaints and expectations of others.
A classmate who knew the situation revealed that Ah Xin had never tried hard to find a job or learn a skill for himself in these years, and had always been stuck in "waiting, relying, and wanting." Although such a person is over 40 years old, he is like a child in his heart, basing his life on relying on others.
Some people say: "Your life is in your own hands. Others will never be responsible for your life, and there is no reason to worry about you to the end, not even your relatives."
To live, everything depends on you. Own. To truly love yourself is not to work hard to get what others give you, but to make yourself fuller and stronger, so that you can withstand the wind and rain of life and bear the hardships of life for yourself.
02 Love yourself and have the ability to love others
Yishu said in the book: "Love yourself, be calm, and then love others."
Everyone’s family of origin and growth background are completely different. There are also differences in perceived ways of feeling love and expressing love.
Many times, the people around you are not unwilling to give love , but they give it, and you can't feel it yourself .Only by learning to love yourself can you fill the black hole in your heart, stop yourself from being lacking, and be able to love others.
I once read such a story in a book:
A girl was born in a single-parent family and lacked father's love. When she grew up, she fell in love with a boy and regarded him as the most important thing in her life. She sacrificed everything for him and worried about gains and losses. However, this led to the boy not taking her seriously and breaking up with her even if she was not satisfied. The girl repeatedly compromised and suffered in her heart.
Once, a girl accidentally participated in a self-growth training camp. She realized that the reason why she accommodated boys in every possible way was due to her lack of father's love since childhood. She did not know how to love someone healthily . thus loses himself in love and makes the other person look down on him.
Later, she corrected her problem, spent her energy on herself, and cared about the other person's life, but she would always maintain an appropriate distance . Later, the boys became more and more inseparable from her, and the two finally got married and lived happily.
Professor Zeng Shiqiang said: "If a person can't handle the relationship with himself, he can't handle the relationship with the world."
People who don't know how to love themselves have no ability to love others. Humility cannot be exchanged. Happiness will also make you be regarded as nothing, and even more worthless.
Only by putting yourself first and letting yourself have enough ability to love can you love others better and have a harmonious relationship.
03 Love yourself and enjoy the splendor of life
Liang Shiqiu once said in "Middle Age": " The fun of middle age is to know life and yourself quite well, so as to do what you can do and enjoy yourself. The life you can enjoy .
The time of life cannot be copied. At any stage of life, you must have a clear understanding of life and yourself. You must not only work hard but also know how to enjoy life. This is respect for life and pampering for yourself.
Forty-five-year-old Xu Jinglei is a well-known talented woman in the entertainment industry. She not only has an outstanding career, but also enjoys life very much and has always done what she likes.
When she was an actress, her role as an innocent girl was deeply rooted in the hearts of the people; when she was a director, her works won awards and the box office exceeded 100 million.
But now, she downplays fame and fortune, and only made a movie in a few years. spends most of her time enjoying life, traveling, studying, practicing calligraphy, doing handicrafts, making ceramics... lives out self-confidence, independence, and love. My own benchmark .
She once said in an interview with Dong Qing in " Reader ": " We have been educated since childhood to be a good girl who is liked by others, why can't we be a person who makes ourselves truly happy? ? ”
To love yourself, you don’t have to cater to the public’s standards, you have to get married and have children; to love yourself, you don’t have to work endlessly to make money and live like a robot.
When a person truly loves himself, he will put his own feelings first , know how to cater to his own heart and live a life that he really likes; he will also love his body and, at the appropriate time, , slow down, please yourself, find your own fun , enjoy the wonderful life.
Oscar Wilde once said: "Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." Only those who love themselves can love others and attract others to love you.
Everyone who comes to this world is short-lived. Whether relatives or friends, they can only accompany you for a certain distance. The only one who truly accompanies you to the end is yourself, and the only one you can rely on in the end is yourself.
The way a person lives every day, repeated to the end, constitutes a life.
Instead of focusing on your expectations of others, it is better to calm down, strive to take charge of your own life and manage your own life well.
After passing through the unevenness of time and crossing the ups and downs of life, I finally realized that in this life, the most worthy of cherishing and pampering is myself .
This article was first published on the public account "Yujundu"
