We have been taught since childhood: suffering is a blessing.
However, when we swallow our anger, others become more unscrupulous.
If a person has no thorns, he will be considered weak and can be bullied, and others will bully you even harder.
Therefore, no matter how honest a person is, he should not be weak in these three things.
1Don’t be weak when being forced by friends
When I was in college, there was a classmate who was recognized as a good guy.
But when chatting with him in private, he often complains.
Because people think others are good, they often ask them for help.
The school invited a psychology expert. He originally planned to attend a lecture in the evening, but his classmates asked him to help move things.
had an exam next week. He wanted to read at home on Sunday, but his friend forced him to go shopping.
Without exception, he agreed.
But his own life was a mess.
He wanted to refuse, but he was afraid of offending others. As a result, he gradually became a "good guy" in everyone's eyes.
No one cares about his feelings, no one cares about his opinions.
He was like this, always being led by the people around him.
In psychology: Excessive honesty is a pleaser personality, which is an unhealthy personality.
Most of their honesty comes from the kindness in their hearts.
But aggrieved by your own kindness, in the eyes of others, it may be just a humble attempt to please, and you have just become a target that can be bullied at will.
When you are forced to do something difficult by your friends, don’t bear it silently, you must know how to say no.
Learning to reject others is a clear self-demarcation.
Only when you have boundaries, others will look at you and respect you.
The most important thing between friends is boundaries.
If a friend often crosses the line and tests your bottom line.
Such a relationship is harming you. Instead of working hard to maintain it, you should let it go.
Friends must be equal.
No one owes anyone, and no one needs to please anyone.
Pleasing others cannot bring respect, and bottomless tolerance will only lead to more presumptuousness.
Learn to refuse, learn to say no, and make your principles and bottom line clear to your friends, so that you can truly gain the respect of others.
2
Don't be weak when your deserved interests are damaged
A good person will be bullied by others, and a good horse will be ridden by a horse.
People always bully the weak and fear the strong.
If someone steps on you and you don't say a word, it means that the second step is coming soon.
When others infringe on your rights, you must know how to speak out, so that their infringement will be cost-effective and they will be more cautious next time.
If you remain silent, you are condoning other people's infringement.
A few days ago, NetEase’s violent layoffs caused a stir.
The excessive load caused employees to become seriously ill. Not only did the employees not receive care from the company, but they were violently laid off. When they went to the company to ask for explanations, they were driven away by company security.
In anger, employees posted online to expose NetEase.
Public opinion fermented and the public sentiment was fierce. NetEase apologized, punished the supervisor involved, and agreed to the employee compensation plan.
If employees choose to endure this tone.
The outcome may be completely different, and even more people's reasonable demands may be ignored.
Crying children get candy.
It is a basic quality of a person to dare to express dissatisfaction and fight for one's appropriate rights and interests.
If you don’t dare to speak out or fight for it, if you just give in, you will make others look down upon you.
3
Don’t be weak when you encounter someone who is too harsh.
Confucius said: Repay grievances directly.
Whatever you do to me, I will do to you.
Don’t be silent when facing the infringement of others. Blind kindness can only make the other party more unscrupulous.
