The characteristic of anxious attachment personality is that the more you love, the more you fear being abandoned.
obviously likes each other very much, but it always ends up being self-defeating.
They are clingy, are very controlling, , but only to gain a sense of security.
Once he feels that things are going against his wishes, he will appear indifferent, but his heart is already full of holes.
In fact, everyone with anxious attachment personality must believe in themselves, and you are worthy of being loved.
Anxious attachment personality characteristics
1. You tend to have a strong sense of intimacy and are also worried that others will abandon you.
2. You can be a little clingy, but at the same time you can easily become repellent to others.
3. You will put all your energy into this relationship, and your excitement and fear will always be there.
4. Feeling very excited when things are going well.
5. Fear appears when you start to worry about being abandoned or rejected.
6. Your love life and friendships are an emotional rollercoaster for you.
7. Your life is constantly switching between crises and drama.
8. You like to focus on and idealize others instead of focusing on yourself and your own behavior.
9. You care more about what others are doing rather than how well you are doing.
10. You will be very concerned about other people's feelings, attitudes and evaluations of getting along with you.
11. During your childhood, your life was full of unpredictability.
12. You have a family member who is hot and cold, and you can't predict what he will do next.
13. Your family may love you deeply one minute, and then start blaming and laughing at you for no reason the next.
14. You don’t know what’s going to happen next, so you pay close attention to their behavior.
15. Even if you are unhappy, you don’t care about yourself. Instead, you care about other people’s feelings or thoughts.
Self-salvation of anxious attachment personality
1. You must know that the relationship between you and yourself is the longest and truly existing relationship in this life.
2. The basis for you to get along with others is that you can live in harmony with yourself.
3.You are a witness to every thought, dream, feeling, thought and action you have ever had.
4. Your unique life experiences will make you cooler than ordinary people, so accept them.
5. Make more friends. Friendships and relationships can make you feel supported and loved.
6. Create a compassionate, loving connection with yourself and enjoy spending time with yourself.
7. Shift your attention from others to yourself, and pay attention to your own emotions.
8. The feelings and attitudes of your lover, family, and friends are important, but you must also have the ability to love yourself.
9.The key to getting along well with others is to believe in yourself and see your own value in relationships.
10. Learn to naturally accept other people's views on your life.
11. Practicing compassion meditation can help you pay attention to yourself little by little.
The picture comes from Little Sleep APP
Finally, I would like to tell friends with anxious attachment personality that indulging in control will not make the other person feel your love.
If you try your best to control your partner and stab your partner's heart because you lack a sense of security, the relationship will only become scarred.
Broaden your sights, don't just focus on your partner, you have your world and your friends.
Just like Yishu said, " love yourself, be calm, and then love others. "
