In a small town in Vladivostok on the Russian border , there lived a Chinese woman and her two mixed-race daughters.
This small town is only 40 kilometers away from China.
However, this woman’s journey back to China is getting farther and farther. More than ten years have passed and she has not yet returned to China.
Why is it so close, but she never comes back?
What kind of story does she have?
(Gao Shan)
The woman’s name is Gao Shan.
htmlWhen she was 119 years old, a floral skirt changed the trajectory of her life.
That year, Gao Shan was in her second year of high school. She was at an age when girls were young and loved beauty and comparison.
Gao Shan was extremely envious when she saw the girls in the class with fluttering skirts.
She also wants to buy a skirt like that.
She took a fancy to a floral dress worn by a girl.
But usually her mother rarely buys her clothes. She wears every piece of clothing over and over again, and only buys her new ones when she can no longer wear them.
After returning home, she mustered up the courage to tell her mother that she wanted to buy a skirt.
But my mother said angrily:
"Every day, I seem to owe you something. You opened your mouth and asked me for money. Who did I ask for money?
I really regret giving birth to you and raising you to someone else's family. , Just pay for it!”
Gao Shan was unwilling and asked again: “Other students have it.”
After saying this, her mother became even more angry and scolded her loudly for her lack of conscience and said:
“I hate your mother for being incompetent. , you can make your own money and buy whatever you want."
These were her mother's angry words, but Gao Shan took it to heart.
She decided to drop out of school and go to work to earn money to buy dresses.
A seemingly simple decision changed Gao Shan's life.
(Photos of Gao Shan as a girl)
Gao Shan was born in a worker family in Yanbian, Northeast China. Her parents were both workers in the company.
She is the only daughter in the family, with three brothers.
My mother has a strong personality. She speaks her mind at home and often curses.
is not willing to live in poverty. He is busy working for the family and always trying to find ways to make money.
also favors boys over girls and doesn't treat her very well. She often talks about being a "loser".
My father is a simple and honest man who thinks that life is just fine and there is no need to struggle.
is very fond of her, but the financial power and voice of the family are all controlled by the mother, and everything the father says does not count.
Gao Shan was influenced by her mother and had a very tough temper. She was not willing to lag behind others.
Therefore, her mother’s words stimulated her unwillingness to admit defeat and made her decide to drop out of school.
That was 1990.
had just come out of school, and Gao Shan didn't know what she could do.
When she saw that the restaurant was looking for a waiter, she ran to work as a waiter.
The job in the hotel is not easy. I get up early and work late at night. I work more than ten hours a day.
However, after working hard for a month, the salary I received was only 100 yuan, which was not enough to spend on myself.
She wants to change to a job that makes more money.
With the help of a relative, she joined a state-owned textile factory and earned a monthly salary of more than 200 yuan, twice as much as a hotel waiter.
Moreover, this is a formal job, and it gives face to others when asked, and my parents are very happy.
However, the textile factory worked in two shifts day and night, which was very boring every day. After working for a while, Gao Shan felt tired.
She wants to change her job again.
often looked at the recruitment information, and she realized that without a diploma, she had almost no chance.
The newly opened shopping mall had to be a salesperson with a minimum of high school graduation. She didn’t have a diploma, so she didn’t even have a chance to sign up.
Fortunately, she was young and had the opportunity to start over, so she decided to get a diploma on her own.
She saved some money through frugality and enrolled in night school Japanese classes.
At that time, Sino-Russian relations gradually normalized, border trade became more and more active, and business exchanges between the two sides were frequent.
However, language communication is the biggest obstacle, and Russian translation is urgently needed.
As a result, the Japanese class became a Russian class, and the number of registrations increased sharply.
Gao Shan was very excited when she saw this situation.
Could it be that God will compensate you in another way for what you have lost? What the hell?
She told herself that in this opportunity to learn, she must persevere no matter what she said.
Her father disapproved of her enrollment in classes and thought she was just messing around.
In his opinion, if a girl has a formal and stable job, when she reaches her age in the future, she can just find an equally stable man to get married and have children.
Gao Shan didn't think so. She didn't want to be a textile worker all her life. She wanted to be a translator and sit in an office.
She also wants to see the outside world.
As long as a person is determined in his heart, he will not let other people's words influence his choice.
(Screenshot of Gao Shan’s video)
Gao Shan goes to work during the day and attends classes at night, two days a week, and is never absent.
When she catches up with the night shift, she changes shifts with others and does not miss classes.
persisted for a year, and she was halfway through the course. In a classroom that was once full of students, only she and a few students were left.
Russian is so difficult to learn that many people cannot persist.
This class was about to be unable to continue. At this moment, a company came to their class to recruit translators for the Russian office.
This opportunity suddenly came to Gao Shan, who was studying hard.
Gifts never fall out of thin air. Only when you work hard enough will you receive this unexpected surprise.
Her father came out to stop her.
Just don’t want the ‘iron rice bowl’?
You are too willful. How many people want it but still can’t get it.
Besides, the Soviet Union has just disintegrated and the society is in turmoil. Moreover, I heard that the people there are barbaric. You, a girl, are too dangerous.
Gao Shan refused to listen and insisted on going abroad.
Soon, the passport and visa were processed.
One day in May 1993, the 22-year-old had a thousand yuan in her pocket, pulling a suitcase bought for 20 yuan, which contained a few changes of clothes, and started from Tumen .
She said to her father who was seeing her off on the platform:
I will come back when I earn enough 50,000 yuan.
The wind blew into his father's eyes. He raised his hands and rubbed his eyes without saying a word.
(Gao Shan and her eldest daughter)
The company is located in Vladivostok, and the treatment is pretty good. After taking care of food and housing, the monthly salary is 800 yuan.
Having just arrived in Russia, she envied the life of Russians:
lived in a building, and every house had a car, 24-hour hot water, and fresh milk to drink every day.
Gao Shan felt that her decision to come here was the right one.
Before long, her troubles came.
Her Russian language proficiency is average and she has no diploma. She can only do simple chores, run errands, and answer phone calls.
occasionally went out with senior translators, but she couldn't understand what they said. Next time, they wouldn't take her with them.
The feeling of being rejected by others made her self-esteem frustrated.
She wanted to go to Far Eastern University to study Russian, but the tuition was too expensive, 20,000 yuan a year, and she couldn't afford it.
After working for half a year, she resigned and found a Russian to learn Russian.
(Gao Shan and her three brothers)
The woman who taught her was a teacher from Far Eastern University. She lived in the teacher's house and took care of food, housing, and studies, and earned 1,500 yuan a month.
When she is not studying, Gao Shan earns living expenses by taking on odd jobs and helping Russians negotiate prices in border trade. She can earn up to 50 yuan a day.
At the teacher’s house, she saw the real life of Russians at that time.
The teacher always puts money into cans and bottles and buries them in the vegetable cellar.
When she asked, she realized that she did not dare to deposit money in banks because banks were unreliable.
It turns out that in July 1993, the old versions of rubles and were all invalidated, and only the 1993 version of the new ruble was allowed to circulate.
Ordinary people go to the bank to exchange their old rubles for new rubles, and they only have three days.
A large number of people were queuing up and waiting to change. However, many people had no time to change, and a lot of cash in their hands became waste paper.
The rich became poor overnight, and the poor became even poorer.
Only then did Gao Shan realize that behind the life she envied, people were also deeply uneasy.
Not long after, she heard that his fellow countryman, a businessman who invested heavily here, was playing mahjong in the warehouse. As a result, everyone at the table was shot, and all the cash in the warehouse was robbed.
From then on, Gao Shan made up his mind to make money quickly and leave here as soon as possible.
After learning Russian, she joined another translation company, and her monthly salary increased to 2,000 yuan.
In the blink of an eye, Gao Shan has been in Russia for nearly four years. She has gradually adapted to life there and has some savings in her hands.
However, she did not expect that what she once felt uneasy about would actually happen to her.
Her years of hard work were wiped out in an instant.
(Gao Shan and Russian friends)
On that day, the manager was coming back from a business trip, and she and another colleague were going to pick him up at the station.
Suddenly, a man wearing a mask and holding a gun rushed into the office.
The scenes seen in the movie actually appeared in Gao Shan's life:
She had a gun put to her head, her mouth was sealed with tape with her colleagues, her hands were tied, she was squatted down at gunpoint, and then pushed to the corner. .
She was so scared that she didn't dare to express her anger, lest she made any noise and her life was at stake.
After a while, the manager came back by himself.
As soon as he entered the room, he saw that the situation was not good. Just as the manager was about to open his mouth, he was hit on the head by the butt of a gun.
In the end, the manager’s 20,000 US dollars and Gao Shan’s 2,000 US dollars were stolen.
They did not dare to call the police, fearing that the police would not care and they would be blackmailed again.
This time, Gao Shan was frightened and decided to return home quickly.
However, after going abroad for several years, making little money, and escaping back to China in embarrassment, how could I have the nerve to go home to see my parents?
She had no choice but to go to the company's domestic office and stay there for half a month.
always hides like this, which is not the solution.
She still wants to live, but she has never found a suitable job opportunity in China.
Helpless, she returned to Russia.
Perhaps, it was fate that arranged this deliberately, and there was someone calling her from somewhere.
This person is the tall and handsome Russian boy Yaroslav, He works in a car repair shop.
In 1997, Gao Shan met him when he went to repair his car and knew that he was a veteran.
Gao Shan discovered that he was different from other Russian boys.
He is gentle and well-educated. He never talks too much and works very seriously.
When Gao Shan saw him, she felt an inexplicable sense of intimacy. Every time she went to repair her car, she would chat with him more.
The two people became trusting friends.
(Gao Shan’s husband)
After returning to Russia, Gao Shan told him about her being robbed.
He said, how about we do business together, so that I can protect you.
Just like that, the two people hit it off immediately.
Gao Shan took out all the remaining savings in his hands, and the two of them bought a truck together, and then drove goods from the two countries to each other's respective countries to sell.
In this way, she sells Russian goods in China, and Yaroslav sells Chinese goods in Russia.
Although Gao Shan has to go back and forth when buying goods, her life is more stable than before.
At that time, the two people were either boyfriend or girlfriend, or they were very good friends, confidants who could talk to each other's innermost feelings.
Yaroslav has a girlfriend, whom Gao Shan knows.
When he comes to China to purchase goods, he often brings his girlfriend with him.
Every time, Gao Shan would warmly entertain them and show their kindness as a landlord.
The turning point in their relationship came after a blind date with Gao Shan.
That day, a friend introduced someone to Gao Shan, and they were having dinner together.
Yaroslav happened to call and told her that he was coming.
Gao Shan did not hide anything, told him that she was on a blind date, and asked him to come over and eat together.
At the dinner table, he was particularly cold to the blind date man and went out early to buy the order.
Then, in front of Gao Shan, she disliked the man in every way, saying that he was not worthy of Gao Shan at all.
Gao Shan could hear the jealousy. Maybe he had already fallen in love with her at that time, but he didn't realize it himself.
Between men and women, the only difference between friendship and love is a confession.
The two finally confirmed their relationship.
That was 1998.
Although she was in love, Gao Shan knew in her heart that it was just love and not marriage.
Because she is Chinese, she will not go to Russia to settle down. If she stays there for any number of years, it will be someone else’s country. She has to go back to China.
And Yaroslav is Russian, he will not come to China to settle with her.
The two of them have a tacit understanding and only talk about love and not the future.
However, love that does not talk about the future will eventually come to an end.
(Gao Shan in her mother-in-law’s vegetable garden)
In 2000, after seven years abroad, 29-year-old Gao Shan earned 200,000 yuan.
originally said that he would return to China after earning 50,000 yuan, but now he has exceeded his goal.
She didn’t want to drift anymore and decided to go home.
She also wants to bring her relationship to a perfect end.
While chatting during this period, Yaroslav said that he once asked his mother if she would agree to marry a Chinese woman.
His mother said: "As long as you like it and you are willing, I have no objection."
Gao Shan knew that the Chinese woman he was talking about was herself, because there was no other Chinese woman around him.
He did not directly say "I want to marry you". He was not sure whether Gao Shan would marry him and live in Russia.
At that time, the gap between China and Russia had become increasingly obvious.
If nothing else, just look at both sides of the border.
The tall buildings rising from the ground in China can be seen flashing across the river every night.
On the Russian side, there has been no change at all, it is still a poor village.
In January 2000, Gao Shan decided to return to China and began to put an end to her relationship.
She invited Yaroslav to visit Sanya, and in return, he also invited her to travel to Moscow.
There is no future relationship. It is the most beautiful when it ends at the most beautiful time. It will become the most precious and unforgettable memory of each other.
ended it all with ease, and she returned to China.
When she went to Russia, Gao Shan was still a young girl.
is back now and spent 110,000 yuan to buy a new building for his parents, making his parents' faces infinitely glorious.
My father feels distressed, my mother is proud, and I also feel great.
After a while happily, she gradually found that she was already separated from her original friends.
A group of people were together, and the excitement was theirs, but she felt lonely and lost.
Her heart is not here.
Some memories are destined to not be erased; and some people are destined to not be replaced.
When she was feeling depressed, Yaroslav called her one day and asked her how she was doing.
She pretended to be happy and said everything was fine.
(Gao Shan and her mother-in-law)
In May 2000, four months after they were separated, they met in Harbin.
He came over to buy furniture, and she acted as his temporary translator.
After a week of brief reunion, the ending is still the same, he will not stay, and she will not follow.
They all have their own roots in their hearts and have things they stick to.
I can’t say who is right or wrong, or maybe the love is not deep enough.
However, the arrival of a little life ended the repeated pull between them.
Gao Shan found out that she was pregnant.
I don’t know why, but the moment she learned that she was pregnant, Gao Shan suddenly felt relieved.
She did not panic, but felt that this was God's will, and God did not want them to separate.
However, when the family members found out, they were not calm anymore.
My mother was worried that Yaroslav would not marry her.
Dad is worried that if he gets married, it will be difficult to come back.
My brother is worried that foreign men will not marry him, and Chinese men are not willing to raise a foreign child.
Gao Shan didn't think so much. She never doubted Yaroslav's love for her.
She called him to tell him about the pregnancy.
He shouted happily there, and then told her: "We will get married soon."
The child became her weakness, and for the sake of the child, she was willing to wander again.
(Gao Shan and two daughters)
In December 2000 , Gao Shan and Yaroslav, who were seven months pregnant, held a wedding in his hometown town.
In March 2001, their mixed-race eldest daughter Alyona was born.
Because her children are young, Gao Shan rarely returns to China.
Her mother-in-law and her family treated her very well, especially her mother-in-law, who loved her like a daughter.
In 2002, they spent 1 million to build their own villa.
The villa is very large and has a large garden, which is Gao Shan's favorite.
This home is what she dreamed of.
Later, the two of them did border trade business together.
The husband is pragmatic and family-oriented, and the two of them soon accumulated a fortune.
The days are getting better and better, and the children have reached school age.
Gao Shan now wants to return to China, but she is not sure whether her husband will agree.
The two discussed the future of their children seriously, and Gao Shan proposed to return to China.
My husband has no objection. He travels back and forth to China and has seen the rapid development of China. He knows that his children will have a better future if they go to China.
Perhaps everyone will compromise and give up many things because of love throughout his life.
This time, it was him who compromised for the sake of his children.
For Northeasterners, Dalian is undoubtedly the best living choice.
There is the sea, sunshine, and beaches. It is not cold in winter and not hot in summer.
In 2007, Gao Shan and her husband bought a house facing the sea in Dalian.
At that time, Gao Shan began to prepare for her second child and suspended her border trade business.
Her husband took out a loan to buy two trucks and started doing transportation and engineering work.
was under the pressure of a loan, so he didn't dare to relax at all. He went out early and came back late to make money.
They plan to work for a few more years and then move to Dalian with more money.
However, plans never change quickly, and the financial crisis came in 2008.
The economic recession has made it very difficult to make money in all walks of life. Yaroslav's big truck often has no work to do, but he still has to repay the loan every month.
Although he didn't say anything, Gao Shan felt his pressure.
He didn't like to talk at all, and became more and more silent.
thought that if we persisted, the economic crisis would pass.
Unexpectedly, a greater crisis ushered in.
(Two daughters and mother-in-law)
In 2012, Yaroslav was suddenly diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The doctor told him that he had only two to three months to live.
The news shocked the whole family. Gao Shan didn't believe it. She checked it in Harbin and Beijing and found the same result.
In 2013, the family spent the last Spring Festival in Dalian.
Although he tried every means, he was ultimately unable to save Yaroslav's life.
Gao Shan said that she had thought about various ways for them to separate, but she never thought that they would be separated in this way.
had no time to feel sad. Many things in reality were before her.
She is a foreign woman who came to meet him. Now that he is gone, can she stay?
Yaroslav’s eldest brother was the first to say that she would return to China, remarry, and stop talking to her.
Gao Shan did not refute, she began to deal with the property, and followed her husband's instructions, even if they were verbal, she carried them out one by one.
She and her children moved out of the villa, sold the villa and several cars, and paid off the loan.
gave Yaroslav's brother a car and his sister a house and a garage. When
distributed property to her parents-in-law, her parents-in-law "gave up their inheritance rights."
The mother-in-law’s reason is that you have children to raise and it costs a lot of money.
The actions of her parents-in-law made Gao Shan feel the kindness of the two old people towards her.
At this time, her father called and asked her to return to China. After
returned home, her parents and brothers helped take care of her two children.
Her mother-in-law agreed to her return to China because her eldest daughter was in middle school and could not transfer to another school. Her mother-in-law asked her to take her 5-year-old daughter away first.
html My mother-in-law helps raise my 113-year-old eldest daughter. She will go to China after she finishes high school.
When the eldest daughter heard about this, she cried and said, "Mom, you and your sister don't leave yet. I'll leave with you after I finish junior high school."
Her daughter's words made Gao Shan feel like she was heartbroken. The child no longer has his father. , it would be too cruel for her to be separated from her mother and sister again.
At that moment, she decided to stay.
No matter how difficult it is, she will stay with her children.
(Gao Shan and her mother-in-law)
Unexpectedly, I stayed here for 9 years.
They rely on government subsidies and the income from the two remaining international transport trucks to maintain their daily lives.
originally said that he would leave after his eldest daughter finishes junior high school. Now that his eldest daughter has finished college and his younger daughter has entered junior high school, he needs to wait until his younger daughter finishes her studies before leaving.
Gao Shan lamented that when she went abroad in the 1990s, she could leave as soon as she wanted, but now when she returns to China, she cannot just lift her legs and leave. There are too many constraints.
Since her marriage, her mother-in-law has treated her like a daughter. They have been with her for more than 20 years and have a deep relationship with her.
Mother-in-law is just like her own mother, reluctant to let her go.
Her home is only about 8 minutes' drive away from her mother-in-law's home.
html For the past 120 years, she has been going to her mother-in-law's house every week. Her mother-in-law will prepare delicious food for her and take it back to her after eating.
It was her 50th birthday, and her parents-in-law, sister-in-law, and eldest brother-in-law came to celebrate her birthday with gifts.
This family affection was earned with her sincerity.
Similarly, on father-in-law's birthday, mother-in-law's birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day... She will carefully prepare gifts for the elderly and give them red envelopes.
On her mother-in-law’s birthday last year, she gave her a red envelope of 5,000 yuan, equivalent to three months’ salary.
When it comes to her parents-in-law, she never skimps on spending money.
It has been 27 years since she went abroad again in 1995. She has been holding a Chinese passport and has not applied for a permanent residence visa.
Now, trouble comes.
(Screenshot of Gao Shan’s video)
In June this year, Moscow issued a policy that foreign citizens with expired visas need to leave the country on August 17.
And her visa has already expired. If she does not leave the country on August 17, she will be illegally staying.
Once deported, she will not be allowed to enter the country for three or five years, and her two daughters will have to be left in the care of her mother-in-law.
But there is a way, if she applies for a permanent residence visa, she can stay there.
Mother-in-law asked her to apply this time.
She hesitated and asked netizens what to do?
Netizens who knew her story through the short video left messages to support her application for a permanent resident certificate.
In the end, she decided to retain her Chinese nationality and apply for a permanent residence visa.
She once went abroad resolutely to make money; after returning to China, she went abroad again for love.
Unfortunately, her lover passed away prematurely and she was forced to stay in a foreign land.
originally thought that when her daughter grew up and came to study in China, she would return home with her. However, due to the impact of the general environment, she was forced to be stranded, and her return to the country had to be postponed again and again.
I hope that the environment will become better and better, and that the way home will be closer for her, and even closer...
Author: Zhu Xiaolu & Mr. Sanyan
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