01 In the final analysis, marriage is actually a cooperative relationship. It is a man and a woman cooperating to run a family. Just like two people working together to open a company, the product of the company is the child, and the two people work together to raise the child. I

01

In the final analysis, marriage is actually a cooperative relationship. It is a man and a woman who cooperate to run a family. Just like two people working together to open a company, the product of the company is the child, and the two people work together to raise the child.

If both men and women have the same views, cooperate sincerely, and work together for the common interests of the family, then the family will prosper and get better and better. But if both parties hide their selfish motives and put their own interests first in everything, then the family will not be cohesive and cannot be built well.

When getting married, both men and women must negotiate the marriage and reach a consensus. For many families, marriage is usually done according to the old rules, that is, the man marries and the woman marries; the man arranges the wedding room and pays the bride price, and the woman handles the dowry, etc.

02

After the man and woman discussed the marriage, the mother-in-law repeatedly reduced the bride price, and later offered to let the girl dowry the house and car. The girl gave in again and again, and finally got so angry that she broke up with him.

This is what happened to Lu Lifeng. When talking about her previous relationship, she was very angry. She felt that her ex-boyfriend's mother was trying too hard, and her ex-boyfriend listened to her mother in everything, so she insisted on breaking up with her ex-boyfriend. Let's hear what she went through below.

Narrator: Lu Lifeng

Age: 28 years old

Occupation: Nurse

City: Yingcheng

03

When I accompanied my friend to look for a house in an agency, I met my boyfriend, who was a salesperson of the agency. My friend is very picky, but her boyfriend went out of his way to help her find a house and took us everywhere to look at houses. I had a good impression of my boyfriend and took the initiative to add him as a friend. Later, I often chatted with him online. After chatting with

for more than two months, we officially started dating. He said that he had an ex-girlfriend whose family was in business and had good family conditions. When they formalized their relationship, their ex-girlfriend's parents strongly disagreed, and they later broke up.

So when my boyfriend and I first started dating, my boyfriend repeatedly stated that his family’s conditions were not very good and asked me if I would mind? If you mind, don't start. He doesn't want to hide it from me, and he doesn't want to trick me. His words made me feel that he was very sincere, and I liked him even more, so I naturally insisted on dating him.

After dating for more than a year, we were getting ready to get married, so our parents sat together to discuss the marriage. In fact, the conditions at my boyfriend's house are not bad, they are average. My boyfriend felt that the conditions at his own home were poor because he compared them with those at his ex-girlfriend's home, but they weren't actually that bad.

The parents of both parties have agreed that the marriage will be done according to the old rules, that is, the man's family will marry and the woman's family will marry; the man's family will buy a wedding room and pay the money for the gift, and the girl's family will buy the dowry.

04

When it comes to the bride price, my parents want 120,000, which is not high in our area. Some people want 200,000 or 300,000! My parents wanted to make some excuses, but my mother-in-law-to-be had a troubled look on her face, saying that her family still had to buy a wedding room and hold banquets, etc., so they didn't have enough money.

My boyfriend asked me in a negotiating tone, if 100,000 would be okay, let’s make up a round number. I thought it was just a difference of 20,000 yuan and it was no big deal, so I agreed immediately. When my parents saw that I had agreed, they didn't say much, so they decided on a bride price of 100,000 yuan and the man would buy a wedding house.

But two days later, the prospective mother-in-law asked me to go to her house for dinner. My boyfriend was not at home at that time, only the prospective mother-in-law was there. My mother-in-law-to-be discussed with me whether we could ask for less money for the bride price. They really didn’t have the money. That day in front of my parents, they were too embarrassed to ask us to give in, so now they are discussing it with me in private.

I was very happy and said that instead of reducing my salary by 20,000, it would be 80,000. The word "8" is very auspicious and homophones "fa". The prospective father-in-law immediately agreed, just 80,000! Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law-to-be still had to bargain, saying that it would cost money to host a banquet, buy a house, etc., and finally asked if 50,000 would be okay?

I felt like this was a business, and I felt quite unhappy, but when I saw my prospective parents-in-law looking at me eagerly, I was too embarrassed to refuse, so I had no choice but to agree.I told my boyfriend about this later. I thought that my boyfriend would blame his parents, but I didn't expect that my boyfriend would completely side with his parents.

05

I told my parents that the bride price became 50,000 yuan. My parents were surprised and unhappy. They said the marriage had been discussed, how could the prospective mother-in-law change her mind so casually? My prospective mother-in-law was clearly bullying me because I was young. I was too embarrassed to break up, so she shamelessly made demands.

Later, my dad said that since he had agreed, forget it and don’t make a fuss over a little gift money. But a few days later, my mother-in-law came to me at noon at the hospital where I worked and said she had something to discuss with me. I took my prospective mother-in-law out to eat, and we talked while eating.

I thought there was a problem with planning a wedding or buying a wedding house, but I didn’t expect that it was also a problem with the bride price. My mother-in-law-to-be asked me if I could give in some more. I didn’t know what to say all of a sudden! When my mother-in-law saw me standing there, she cried out about poverty again, saying that she wanted to buy a wedding room, host a banquet, hire a wedding company, etc., and everything required money.

The mother-in-law-to-be also said that we will be a family after we get married. She asked me to understand their husband’s difficulties. If they borrow money, don’t we have to pay off the debt after we get married? I asked her, how much would it cost? She said, let’s just pay 5,000 as a bride price, just show your intention.

50,000 suddenly dropped to 5,000. I don’t know what to do? I can only say that I have to go home and discuss it with my parents, and I can’t reply to her right now. The prospective mother-in-law said there was no need to discuss it, wasn’t it just a matter of my words? As long as I want to, my parents will definitely have no problem with it, and they can't force me to marry or not.

06

After I told my boyfriend about this, he still sided with my parents-in-law and said that I didn’t need to discuss it with my parents and could just make my own decision. But I still told my parents. My mother lost her temper and my father disapproved of the marriage and asked me to think about it again.

When I was thinking about it, my mother-in-law sent me a message and asked me to go out for dinner. This time, my boyfriend came to pick me up. My mother-in-law-to-be didn’t mention the gift during the meal. It seemed that the 5,000 yuan gift had already been decided. In fact, I haven’t replied to my mother-in-law yet!

While eating, the mother-in-law-to-be was talking about the wedding house and the car. She said that her boyfriend worked hard and she should buy him a car. After talking for a long time, I finally understood that she wanted me to marry him with a wedding house and a car.

I don’t have any problem with giving me a car as a gift. Our family had originally planned to give me a car as a gift, but it was for me to drive, not for my boyfriend. But I don’t think it’s okay to give away a wedding room. The wedding room should be purchased by the man! If we women have to do everything, what should their men do?

The prospective mother-in-law has obviously already discussed the marriage with my parents, but now the prospective mother-in-law does not discuss it with my parents, but repeatedly comes to do my ideological work, making it seem that I am changing my mind, and she is taking advantage of it and still behaves.

07

I asked my boyfriend what his opinion was, and he said it’s better to just listen to him! His mother is someone who has been here before and considers things thoughtfully. Our family is in good condition and can fully match the wedding house and car. My boyfriend also said that at the beginning he said that his family's conditions were not good, and it was I who insisted on dating him.

I was suddenly very angry. At first I said I didn't care about his family's conditions, but now it's not that they don't have conditions, but that they don't have sincerity. The prospective mother-in-law clearly saw that I was easy to bully, so she kept pushing further and made repeated demands on me. If I agreed today, I would definitely make new demands tomorrow, so I was so angry that I broke up.

My boyfriend and my soon-to-be parents-in-law thought I was trying to scare people because I was the one who took the initiative to contact my boyfriend when we first started dating. Later, I said that I didn’t care about the conditions of my boyfriend’s family, so my boyfriend felt that I was particularly attracted to him and would not marry him unless he was the one.

I haven’t contacted my boyfriend for half a month, and my wedding is coming soon. Only then did my boyfriend realize the seriousness of the matter. Later, both he and his prospective mother-in-law came to beg me to change my mind, but I still insisted on breaking up.

After the breakup, my boyfriend felt very sad and had a fight with his mother. His mother regretted it so much. She thought the marriage was a done deal, but she didn't expect it to fall through in the end.

Conclusion:

A person must have integrity. Since the man and woman have already discussed the marriage, they should proceed as agreed and do not change it casually. If changes have to be made, it must be negotiated by both parties. If one party makes excessive demands on its own initiative, problems will definitely arise in the marriage.

Lu Lifeng's family and her ex-boyfriend's family had already discussed the marriage, but the prospective mother-in-law changed her mind again and again. First she wanted to reduce the bride price, and then she wanted the woman to give away the wedding house and car. The prospective mother-in-law is actually testing her future daughter-in-law step by step. Seeing that her future daughter-in-law is giving in, she presses forward step by step, hoping that her family will pay less.

Because the prospective mother-in-law took advantage of her, repeatedly violated the agreement and made excessive demands, Lu Lifeng finally broke up with her boyfriend. Assuming that Lu Lifeng marries her boyfriend, she will definitely not be happy after the marriage, because her mother-in-law is dishonest and her husband obeys her mother-in-law, so the life of her daughter-in-law will not be easy.

Therefore, when you get married, you must find a husband with good character. Your boyfriend must have good character, and your parents-in-law must also have good character. If the husband's character is not good, then even if the financial situation is good, the girl will not be happy after marrying her.

Author: A creator in the emotional field, focusing on various issues in the emotional field, welcome to pay attention. Life is warm because of affection and love. Let us grow in love and spend every day in true love.