01
As the saying goes: "Ten people have nine grades of life, and people have different grades."
Different people have different temperaments, and of course they also have different interests. Whether it is an outsider or a relative, as long as there is a conflict of temperament or interest, I believe the relationship will collapse.
Human nature is inherently "realistic". In the face of reality, feelings often appear particularly "fragile". Once fragile feelings come into contact with real interests, the feelings will be like sand, blown away.
A psychological researcher said that emotions are derivatives of human beings in order to feel life. As long as something involving survival is affected, the token becomes worthless.
To put it bluntly, the material base determines the superstructure. And feelings are part of the superstructure. Moreover, the most essential nature of human nature is related to the material base and is somewhat deviated from the superstructure.
Take the relationship between brothers and sisters as an example. Do you think this kind of family relationship can really last forever? It can only be said that does not involve material conflicts, so the relationship between brothers and sisters is still passable. Once involved, the relationship is broken.
Therefore, no matter how good your relationship with your brothers and sisters is, you must pay attention to these issues to avoid turning against each other.
02
No matter how good the relationship is, you should also pay attention to the issue of "money".
As the saying goes: "Brothers, settle accounts clearly."
You and I are both brothers, but we will choose to "settlement accounts clearly" for the sake of money and assets. Brothers and sisters from ordinary families will fight for money, and brothers and sisters from wealthy families will fight for money even more.
Fighting for money has nothing to do with the quality of people, it has something to do with people's morality, and it has something to do with human nature.
This is an era of excessive materialism. 99.9% of people regard money as more important than life. And those 0.1% of people may not exist, or they may have seen through it and no longer care. Of course, there are too few people who don't care about money.
Just imagine, the average salary of ordinary people is only four to five thousand. Once they encounter property problems of tens of thousands, or even hundreds of thousands, then who will let go of such an "opportunity"?
Let alone tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands, even if it is tens or hundreds of yuan, some people are anxious about it. Why? Because human beings are creatures that care about money.
From ancient times to the present, most brothers and sisters have been at odds with each other over money and assets. We should be prepared for this and avoid conflicts of interest if we can.
03
No matter how good the relationship is, we should also pay attention to "trivial matters".
Some psychologists believe that humans are inherently “nosy” in nature.
When he sees other people encountering problems, he runs to help them, or to see how others are unlucky. This approach is actually very common in life.
In other words, when you see what others are doing, you get involved in it yourself, without paying any attention to other people's feelings. So, who would have a good attitude towards you?
people who are too involved in right and wrong and pay too much attention to trivial matters will only put themselves in a state of being "disliked". No one likes to be restrained and controlled by others.
No matter how good the relationship between brothers and sisters is, it only means that these people do not have too many conflicts, but it does not mean that conflicts do not exist. Once a fuse appears, the powder keg of conflict will be detonated.
When dealing with others, we only need to maintain one attitude, that is, "it has nothing to do with ourselves, just hang it up high."
As long as the affairs of our brothers and sisters have nothing to do with us, or others do not ask us for help, then we can pretend to "don't know" and just live our own lives.
04
No matter how good the relationship is, we must also pay attention to the issue of "distribution of responsibilities".
The parents have not left yet, and the brothers and sisters must do their best to "provide for their parents in old age". And how to distribute these responsibilities needs to test our wisdom.
If you do too much, your brothers and sisters will put the responsibility on you and make you take full responsibility. At this time, you have everything taken care of, so what good fruits can you get?
You have done too little, and others think you have not fulfilled your obligations. You will only pass the responsibility to others, without any filial piety. If this is the case, you will also be jealous and questioned by others.
In this regard, you may be wondering, if you can’t do more, you can’t do less, why are these people so difficult to get along with and take care of?
Confucius pointed out in Chapter 16 of "The Analects of Confucius·Ji": "Don't worry about fewness but worry about inequality; don't worry about poverty but worry about insecurity."
The general meaning is that if everyone does not do it, then everyone will Everyone is fine. If everyone does the same thing and gets the same reward, that's not a big problem. The only problem with is that it does more and less, and the distribution is uneven.
Therefore, when it comes to family affairs and parents’ pension issues, we must discuss them with our brothers and sisters, try to be fair, and try to equalize responsibilities, otherwise cracks in the relationship will appear.
05
Writing to the end
Speaking of this, I believe we will all sigh, how can getting along with brothers and sisters be so complicated?
In fact, The closer the relationship between people is, the more blood connection they have, the greater the hidden conflicts will be. If we do not avoid these contradictions, we will be affected by them.
Even between brothers and sisters, there will be conflicts. In this case, only by being cautious and prudent can we reduce right and wrong and live in harmony.
text/Shushan Youlu
