Hello everyone, we are Cyte who dare not show weakness in close relationships and Ivan who often shows weakness.
Recently, we saw a post on a group on Douban.
After continuing to browse, I found that many people show that they have a strong psychological relationship in close relationships, and they like those who are stronger than themselves. But for those who are not so good but are good to themselves, they will not feel it.
But at the same time, there are some people who don’t know how to view their own "strong" mentality. Some people even have different troubles because of their "Muqiang" mentality:
"Is my admiration for strong mentality right? Is it snobbery or snobbery?"
" When I found that my partner was not strong enough, I had the idea of breaking up. Is it wrong to want a strong partner?"
Today, let’s have a chat with everyone, "MU Qiang" What are you "admiring"? Will you be happy if you have a "strong" partner?
Mu Qiang,As the name suggests, it is to admire the strong.
The "strong" here does not only refer to a certain ability, but refers to at least one aspect or certain areas of accumulation or talent beyond ordinary people. This means that their position in a certain aspect or field is more dominant than other competitors.
is very common in the beginning of , but it is reflected in the intimacy:
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People will have a different view of Mu Qiang's mentality.
Some people think that this is a legitimate personal choice ("Doesn't Mu Qiang help the poor?"), some people feel moral pressure after discovering their own mentality of Mu Qiang ("Mu Qiang is not counted) Worship money?").
So, how do we view the phenomenon of Mu Qiang?
1. From the perspective of evolution, it is human nature to choose a spouse for both men and women.
Evolutionary psychologists pointed out that , in order to better multiply and survive, the phenomenon of Mu Qiang's mate selection is real in both women and men .
2. For some people, domineering and powerful people can better meet their specific needs.
A survey of 172 German adults found that:
because they want protection and security from such a partner.
So,A partner with a strong temperament is very attractive to these two kinds of people.
As mentioned at the beginning, most people who want to be strong, may wear a layer of _span3p img pimg
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But very often, The "strong" we see is often just a "result", and the "process" of how a person becomes a strong is the "process" that allows you to see most clearly The whole picture and essence of a person.
We found from the literature that has two main ways to become the strong, and the researchers use this to classify the type of the strong _strong53 _strong53 _span3 p13 _pbr5
It is worth noting that has two different types of intimacy.The influence of these performances on the partner is also very different, so:
1. Dominant strong, we do not recommend you "admiration."
This is because, Dominant powerhouses tend to regard intimacy as an arena.
From the researcher’s description of the dominant dominance, we can see that the behavior of that people like win in the same-sex competition reflects aggressiveness and desire to control , rather than the personality traits that everyone expects for a good partner, such as gentleness, considerateness, generosity and generosity.
This kind of people also have a stronger tendency to compete, which makes it difficult for them to live in harmony with their partners. Instead, they will treat their partners as competitors and win in many things.
More research has pointed out that in choosing the method of maintaining close relationships, people who choose to stay close to their partner usually impose their own cost. Use coercion, threats, manipulation, and surveillance to make your partner feel that leaving him will pay a heavy price.
In other words, This type of strong person may treat his spouse as a competitor in a relationship, and may also be violent. The spouse may have to compromise frequently and succumb to their strength.
2. As for the prestigious powerhouses, we will indeed enjoy some benefits because of their "strongness".
Compared with the dominant type, the prestigious type may not have any risk factors such as attack, possession, manipulation, etc., and may choose to provide benefits to the partner to maintain the relationship.
For example, when the relationship is threatened, he may buy expensive gifts for you to show that he can provide things that are difficult for others to give you; when you need his company, give your time and energy.
As we can see from the previous article, it is obviously difficult to be happy with the dominant power, so it is obviously difficult to be happy with the dominant power What? not always.
For example, if he regards "strong" as his own "immunity" in the relationship, even if he provides you with various benefits, you may be satisfied briefly, but in the long run Look, you may not feel happy.
When he regards "strong" as an immunity in the relationship,They may think that because they have given you more resources, they have a higher power in the relationship. This means that the status of both of you in the relationship is not equal.
For example, when your thoughts, needs, and rights conflict with him, he will think that he is a higher person.
Therefore, when a conflict occurs, they are likely to be inclined to blame the other party for the problem and feel that there is no need to make concessions or changes to the conflict in the relationship. They may feel that they don’t have to think so much about the responsibilities they should bear as a partner, and they don’t need to be so responsible.
When “strong” is a bargaining chip in which they feel that they exercise control and are free from accountability, you will be in a bargaining bargaining relationship. There is no right to speak, and I feel humble.
In the final analysis, If you consider your long-term and stable sense of satisfaction and happiness in your intimate relationship, these have nothing to do with the strength of the other party.
Now that we have made it clear, A strong person is not necessarily a good partner. "Strong" is not an important indicator when looking for a partner , so when we want to find a partner who can make us happy, what are the criteria for Can it help us judge that he is a good partner?
We have compiled some small TIPS based on different scientific researches. If that person meets the following description, you may be happier with him:
1.
A person with strong self-control ability is more loyal to and trusts his partner; and conscientiousness plays an important role in solving problems constructively and improving relationship satisfaction.
More importantly, people with high self-control and conscientiousness keep their promises.
In other words, is with a strong self-control and responsible person, you can be more assured of his loyalty, and your relationship may be safer and longer-lasting.
2. Can make you laugh, you may not think of it _p5blocks 131A good sense of humor can be a lifesaver in a relationship.
Relationship therapist Dr. Lisa Firestone found that joking couples often use a sense of humor to resolve potential instability in their relationship.
In other words, A good sense of humor can ease tension in the relationship and make life easier, and playing with our partner will also make us feel happy.
3. Willing to work hard to maintain the relationship
A study by the University of Texas found that:
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The similarity and match between two people's personalities
strong Dr. Hudson pointed out: "There is no difference in compatibility between unhappy couples and happy couples. When unhappy couples say "we are not suitable", they really mean "we are not getting along well". "_Span3span
Therefore, we have to look more to see if a person has the motivation to maintain the relationship and the willingness to work hard for it, if he always tends to get along with two people The unhappiness is attributed to the surface of compatibility issues such as "personality problems" and "two people are unworthy". I am afraid that he will tend to find the next person who is more "suitable" in his own eyes.
Finally, for "we What kind of person should I love", we would like to quote the answer given by Mandy Len Catron, the author of "How to Fall in Love with Anyone".
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Today’s interaction]
Are you strong in love? How important is "strong" in your expectations or requirements for your partner? Welcome to the message area to share your views on Mu Qiang Oh ~
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