often asks parents: "I feel that children don't like learning, and parents always have to push forward. What can we do?" The key to the solution is to stimulate the inner motivation of children to learn. This is what many parents want to do, but they cannot do it.
Guangming Middle School's high school psychology teacher, national second-level psychological counselor, provincial strong teacher project host, the first batch of student development instructors in Guangdong Province, and Hou Ruiling, a member of the Dongguan Family Education Teacher Group, will help parents this time. .
Parents who cross the borders and children are reversible and rebellious
Faced with not being active in learning, parents inevitably have various worries. Teacher Hou Ruiling understands that the reason why parents have such worries is mostly because they are afraid that their children will be separated from other children; they are worried that their children's autonomy is not enough, which will affect subsequent learning and development; parents are more responsible and want to do better , I hope the child has better performance and development.
Parents are too worried and interfered too much, and they may also bring bad consequences. "Children’s autonomy is frustrated and they lose interest in learning." Teacher Hou said, if parents always push their children forward, the main body of action is the parents. At this time, the role is misplaced and the parents are too involved. The child’s responsibilities. The child's autonomy is destroyed, and he has no interest in learning, and will rely more on the encouragement of his parents, forming a vicious circle.
also affects the parent-child relationship. Children may have their own arrangements for learning content and learning time. Parents push away, and children will feel pressure and uncomfortable, and they may also have rebellious psychology. "It shows that they are procrastinated in homework and absent-minded." Teacher Hou said frankly, often parents Will be very angry, which will cause tension between the parent-child relationship.
find the development zone to create a sense of accomplishment
In order to solve the dilemma of family education, one thing all parents should devote their energy to is to stimulate the inner motivation of children to learn. Teacher
Hou said that the inner motivation of learning refers to the fact that learning is interesting, challenging or satisfying for the individual. For example, a child likes to play ball because it makes him happy. Therefore, the internal motivation is "I want to learn", and the external motivation is "I want to learn."
Students with inherent learning motivation will have spontaneity and autonomy, will carry out learning activities more effectively, and desire to gain knowledge and experience.
So, how can parents help their children and stimulate their inner motivation for learning? Teacher Hou believes that if parents want to stimulate the inner motivation of learning, there are several points to be done. First of all, we must increase the children's autonomy, even if they fall in the process, do not deprive them of the opportunity and right to try and make mistakes.
Secondly, it is necessary to clarify the purpose of learning and let children know why they are learning. Parents should help their children establish this concept: learning is not for exams, let alone for parents.
Parents should also help their children find development areas and create a sense of accomplishment. But be careful to avoid pushing your child into the panic zone, that is, a level you can't reach anyway, and bring your child a strong sense of frustration. Teacher
Hou reminded that parents still need to learn to treat their children with a growth mindset. Attach importance to the child’s process of doing things, sincerely praise the child’s completion of a thing and the efforts he has made; encourage the child when the child encounters difficulties, and calmly analyze and adjust the strategy with him; guide the child to look at growth with a developmental perspective , Face pressure and challenge correctly.
These words don’t say these behaviors are not to be done.
Parents all want to stimulate their children’s inner motivation for learning, but they are often unsure. If they are not careful, they may harm their children, and on the contrary hit the students’ inner motivation for learning. Teacher
Hou suggested that parents should not criticize or judge their children. For example, "you can't do such a simple question", the children will feel stupid and incapable. Parents should also avoid blind comparisons, such as "Who do you see?" Teacher Hou said, this makes the child frustrated and angry, and even suspects that parents love other people's children more than him. It is also inappropriate for
to do it all and the lack of boundaries. For example, the parents tell their children to do their homework over and over again, then sit next to the child to supervise, and finally help the child check the homework one by one, asking the child to correct each question. This will dampen the autonomy of the child, and the child will think that learning is the responsibility of the parent and will no longer study well. There is another misunderstanding that parents are easy to enter: "Goals are too high and pay too much attention to the results of learning." The goal exceeds the child's nearest development zone, and the child cannot reach it no matter how hard he tries. It is easy to produce learned helplessness and lead to aversion to learning.
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qiaoFor parents, using the task decomposition method
is not enough to encourage. What can parents do when children encounter difficulties? Teacher
Hou recommends that parents use task decomposition to help children improve efficiency and solve specific problems.
In fact, the task decomposition method follows the principle of small steps, that is, step by step, first take a small step and obtain a small success, complete the task through continuous small successes, accumulate experience, and provide psychology for the next step. power.
This approach has many benefits, such as relieving children’s fear of difficulties, improving their enthusiasm for learning, and enhancing their self-confidence and interest. For example,
. If you want to copy 50 new characters, it is too difficult for children, and you can't finish it all at once. Parents can divide 50 new words into five groups, one group of 10, first complete one group, and then complete the next group. You can use the "time limit", write down the time every 10, for comparison. You can also "count in a limited time" and give 5 minutes to see if you can copy a few words. This method can also be used to do math problems or copy words.
text/Li Chunyan
photography/no video/no
editing/Ma Shenglong
