text/Xiaoxue's mother
Elderly raising children has become a "normal" now. After all, young parents are busy with work and don't have so much time to take care of their children. Although elderly people can help their children with their children a lot, there are often conflicts and conflicts between the two in terms of parenting concepts.
From the perspective of the elderly, they naturally do not spare any effort to take care of the children. Everything is for the children's good. However, from the perspective of mothers, some parenting methods of the elderly are very old-fashioned, even unscientific, and they can't help but give some suggestions, and the elderly will feel very wronged and feel that their daughter-in-law is asking for trouble. Have you encountered these conflicts between
and these mother-in-law and daughter-in-law ?
Everyone says "There is a kind of cold called grandma. You feel cold." In winter, the elderly send their children to kindergarten in the morning. They feel cold in their bodies and they also feel cold. So the children wear three layers inside and three layers outside like penguins. Many kindergarten teachers can't stand it and remind parents not to wear too thick clothes for their children, otherwise they will be inconvenient to move.
Furthermore, the elderly think that the child is inconvenient to eat, so they chew it on their own and feed it to the child. The mother frowned. For example, the elderly think that it is hot in summer, so they shave their heads. The mother thinks it is not good-looking and easy to burn the child's scalp.
There are many conflicts in parenting ideas like this. From the perspective of the elderly, everything is for the good of the children. But in the eyes of mothers, many ways of taking care of the elderly are unhygienic and unscientific, and they even feel diligent.
The first type, the elderly feel cold, so they wear thick clothes for their children
Because of their age and physical reasons, the elderly are more sensitive to seasonal and temperature changes, and always start adding clothes earlier than young people. For example, in winter, the elderly like to wear a warm underwear inside, and then wear a sweater, vest, a relatively thin coat, and finally wear a thick cotton jacket.
The elderly also feel that the children are also very cold. They also put on thermal underwear, sweaters, sweaters, jackets, and cotton jackets for the children. There are several layers inside and outside. I saw a grandmother on the Internet who put on the children for 8 layers.
Children are indeed weak, but they don’t wear so much for their children, because they wear makes the child uncomfortable. In addition, the child exercises a lot and sweats when he moves a little. It is not easy to catch a cold when he gets blown in winter.
Therefore, grandparents feel cold themselves, but don’t dress too thickly for their children, otherwise this love will bring disadvantages to their children’s health.
The second type is that if the child is cold, he often covers the child with his/her quilts
Many elderly people feel that their children are very tired from work, so they let their children sleep with themselves so that their children can sleep peacefully. Children are not stable at night and always kick the quilts. The elderly also tirelessly cover the child with quilts, for fear that the child will feel uncomfortable.
But in fact, some children don’t kick the quilt with confidence, and some people think they are hot, especially in hot seasons, when the elderly are poor to cover their children with quilts. causes the children to sweat repeatedly, and it is easy to have "heat-cover syndrome".
In this case, mothers should communicate more with the elderly and cover the child with a single quilt, so that they can observe whether the child is hot or not in time. If the temperature is right, the elderly do not need to get up at night frequently to cover the child with a quilt.
The third type is that the elderly always feel that their children's way of eating is "a bite away"
For the elderly, there is nothing more gratifying than the children who like to eat their own food. The elderly are always afraid that their children will be hungry, and when feeding their children, they always emphasize taking another bite.
For children who are not able to use chopsticks by themselves, the elderly will never tire of feeding their children. This is more patient than young parents. However, sometimes it is indeed unhygienic for the elderly to chew on their own before feeding them. This is not recommended here.
Children do not have a "quantity" when eating. As the saying goes, "I don't know how hungry and full". When the elderly praise their children for eating more, they eat in big mouthfuls as soon as the children get excited, and it is easy to eat and cannot digest them.
So when feeding children, you should also pay attention to moderate food. The children should eat almost the same food. If they eat too much, indigestion will be bad for the children's spleen and stomach.
or above are the three points we often encounter in life. In addition, there are many more. Parents should communicate more with the elderly and change them in a timely manner when they see them. But don’t blame the elderly, we should discuss it carefully. After all, the starting point of the elderly is always good. As children, we must learn to understand.
I am Xiaoxue’s mother, a mother born in the 1990s. Follow me and share scientific parenting knowledge every day!
