"Dad, don't eat, please, don't eat..." , The child cried and begged for dad.
A father picked up food in front of his son in the trash can. I watched the full video with Curiosity . I was deeply touched. Today I want to talk to you.
Dad took his 6-year-old son to a buffet. The child was obviously a little "big eyes and small belly". He took all the barbecue, abalone and other foods.
Image source - Weibo @Dalian Life, delete the infringement
Seeing this, my father reminded his son not to take more, and not to waste it. The son praised Haikou and said that he could finish it.
Image source - Weibo @Dalian Life, delete
When my father left his seat, he saw his son secretly poured the extra food into the trash can, thinking that he was unaware of it.
Back at the table, the child was still showing off to his father that he had finished eating all the things he had. Dad sighed helplessly, understood it, picked up the trash can, picked up the food, put it on the plate and started eating.
Image source - Weibo @ Dalian Life, delete
Son was frightened and stopped dad with tears: "Dad, stop eating, dirty! I will never waste food again, I was wrong!"
This is not a posing or a show, an ordinary and shocking little detail of an ordinary family, Father is teaching his son how to do things with his own behavior.
Under this news, a netizen commented:
"This is the real teaching by words. How many parents can set an example for their children by themselves?"
Yes, hearing is false, seeing is true, and education for children cannot only be limited to "word by words, not by words"!
1
Tell me a set of things, make a set of things
is the poison education
as a negative teaching material, let me tell you a news that has been on the hot search recently. I can only say that this parent has simply lost all his face as a parent.
In a shopping mall in a certain area in Yunnan, a woman lost her mobile phone. After retrieving the surveillance, she found that her mobile phone had fallen on the floor of the supermarket and was picked up by a little girl.
The image source is from the Internet, delete the infringement
The little girl was about to call the person who lost her phone, but her father stopped her and snatched the phone the girl picked up, turned it off, put it in her pocket, and had a clear idea of operating.
The image source is from the Internet. The whole process of deleting infringement
is too silky. I dare not think about it. is a kind little girl. What will she look like in the end under the education of her parents’ behavior?
But I always believe that , as a parent, is to hope that children will be a good child who is honest and trustworthy and earn money.
But gold is really coming to my mind, and it is "spoken of integrity". gives up the correct guidance of children's values in the face of trade-offs of interests.
blindly telling children big truths, but they can't do it themselves. Once the child makes a mistake, he will scold the child. How many parents pace back and forth in "dual-standard education" , the price is to destroy a child.
I have a best friend who talked about the topic of children's meals during the National Day holiday party. She complained that the child was too picky about food when eating. She often said that the child was not expecting that his child responded to his best friend: "You don't eat this and that don't eat it yourself, why do you ask me to eat it?"
best friend can only continue to reason with his children: "Children who are picky in food cannot grow taller, and mothers don't need to grow taller now."
A series of responses from best friend, naturally it is impossible to tell his picky child, and the child is not wrong: Why can you choose not to eat annoying foods, why can't I?
A hot topic on Zhihu, #What bad impact will the elders have on their words and deeds inconsistently? # Some netizens shared their experiences.
He said that his mother has told himself the importance of learning since she was a child, and there is no way out if she doesn’t study hard. I have always listened to my mother and studied hard.
Image source - Zhihu topic, delete
But as he grew up slowly and learned to think and observe, he suddenly realized that his mother was very double standard.
Instilling a mother who is very important to study in herself every day. In the past 20 years, she has never studied or read a nutritious book.
He tried to ask his mother: "You said learning is important, why don't you learn?"
Mom was angry and embarrassed: "You take care of yourself and don't care about others."
This made him feel it was difficult for him to continue to trust his mother. He began to become rebellious and disgusted with learning, and his personality was like a different person.
Some people may question: This is not a big deal, this child is somewhat fragile inside.
I would rather regard the childhood stage where every child needs the education and guidance of his parents as the most vulnerable period for his children. What they need more is the guidance of his parents.
A skill that children are born with is not to obey the parents' command, but to imitate the parents' behavior . What do you want your child to become? At least you must be consistent in your words and deeds.
2
Rules and self-reliance and self-destruction
Blur children's rules
Variety show " Mother is Superman ", there is a celebrity mother's way of educating her children, which made countless viewers feel crazy.
She said that she is a very compromised mother.
Yes, as long as the daughter cries, she will immediately give up the bottom line of principles that have been set to coax the baby.
don't want to eat, as long as I cry, my mother immediately agrees not to eat;
don't want to go to kindergarten, as long as I cry, my mother can agree not to go;
fight and argue with children, as long as I cry, my mother forgets to punish...
But in fact, when this celebrity mother recovers her sanity, she will be like a strict mother , telling her daughter that this is not allowed and that cannot be done...
But once the child cries, these rules will disappear immediately.
There is a "famous quote" in the parenting industry - Don't give your children too much freedom at the age of setting rules for their children.
In reality, many of our parents are setting rules for their children while setting soft-heartedness to their children.
Such Establish rules for self-reliance and self-destruction is actually more terrifying than spoiling, and will make children unable to feel the majesty of their parents. Naturally, the children will not listen to your words.
Children are just in need of their parents’ teaching, but you have let the children learn to "not take it seriously".
In the shell of the unsolid parental rules, it hides it as indulgence to repeatedly concessions to children. The biggest gain in the growth of children is only the indifference to rules. Because parents do not strictly guide their children, what can be done and what cannot be done.
Children who don’t know what the rules are will inevitably be traumatized in society. This is really a waste of the child!
Therefore, parents must make rules for their children, and must conform to their current development level and behavioral progress, let their children participate in the establishment of rules, agree and communicate with each other, and tell them the meaning behind each rule, and the reasons why they can and cannot do it.
Once the rules are formulated, you must implement them firmly, and there will be no turning back!
3
Oral promise, never fulfill
Children's hearts are in great pain
In the movie "Quartet", there is a line that touches people's hearts - "What is sadder than sadness is empty joy."
Picture source - movie "Quartet", infringement and delete
According to the data statistics of Xin Kuaibao: About 95% of Chinese teenagers believe that their parents often break their promises.
In the variety show " Man Doing Housework " that I watched last year, Zhang Xinyi recalled that she wanted a pair of white sneakers when she was a child. Her mother promised to buy it if she had a score of more than one in the exam before the grade.
"For those white shoes, I have never used the best study so much."
Finally, she made the agreement with her mother, but her mother refused to pay. In the end, she tried her best but still couldn't get the white sneakers.
Zhang Xinyi, who is now a mother of the child, remembered again, and her eyes were still red. She said that when she grew up, she tried her best to buy herself a pair of white sneakers.
In order to motivate children, making an agreement with children is a very common and easy-to-use way. tells the heart-wrenching truth. Can everyone really put their promises to their children in their hearts. Do they have to do what they say?
There may be a considerable number of parents just casually speaking, just a temporary measure , maybe the child will forget it in a few days.
The parents who did not make a promise seriously, but the children on the other side "ironically" hold the promise with their parents in their palms as a guiding light to inspire themselves.
stands from the adult's standpoint:
Didn't I just buy you a toy and didn't take you to the playground? Isn't it enough to make up for it next time? It's not a big deal. If the child cries and vents, he may ask his parents for scolding him.
From the perspective of children:
The promise given by parents is a greater hope than the sky, which may be the whole world of the moment.
gave the child hope, and when the child completed the agreed task, he broke his promise mercilessly. extinguished the child's hope with his own hands. For the child, this may be an unforgettable spiritual trauma.
Break your promise , not only ruins the child's expectation for hope, but also destroys the child's positive understanding of the rewards for his efforts, but also destroys his parents in his heart.
Parents will have a credit score system in their children's hearts. It doesn't matter if they say it, but it will only consume the trust score in their children's hearts again and again. Once loses the trust of their children, any educational method will no longer be effective!
If you can't do it, please don't make promises to your children easily;
Since you can do it, parents should do it when the child completes the agreed matters.
How can children listen to what you say?
What kind of future do you want your children to have and what is the most basic thing parents need to do?
After seeing so many real cases, maybe everyone has the answer.
In life, education is hidden everywhere. Many things are done by parents themselves, which is more touching to their hearts than telling them all the sprawling principles to their children.
"Talk and do what you do" is the simplest and most difficult education. I hope we can all encourage each other!
