A mother likes to analyze the story of her and her daughter’s life online. Recently, a copywriting she posted began with “My daughter doesn’t need kindness”, which attracted the public’s attention.
The story is like this: This mother took her daughter to buy sushi on the street, because the sushi shop is about to close, and there is only the last serving of sushi left in it.
Now there is only a mother and daughter and a little boy queuing. The little boy behind him looked expectant. He clearly saw that there was only one sushi, but he was reluctant to leave. It can be seen that he was very eager for sushi.
At this time, the kind daughter hesitated for a long time and made up her mind to say to the boss, "Auntie, let me give this to the little brother behind me, I don't want it."
Hearing this, the little boy quickly showed a surprise expression, but the mother ignored her daughter's proposal, and even more so, ignoring the little boy next to her. Instead, she paid as usual and asked the boss to pack the sushi.
The little girl was also surprised. On the way home, her mother taught her, "My daughter does not need kindness or beauty... All the best is what she deserves, and there is no need to give it to others in exchange for praise."
Later, in order to record the mental journey of educating her children, the mother posted this experience online and wrote "This is a crucial education, my daughter does not need kindness."
The mother's education method and the "kindness" she mentioned have sparked heated discussions online.
There are still two major groups of people. The first type of netizens believe that this is teaching children selfishness in disguise. Now this society is an altruistic society, and considering others is a mainstream moral value.
The second category Some netizens believe that there are too many "hypocritical" pleasing personalities in China. This mother's approach is very good. This can prevent the child from becoming a pleasing personality in the future and avoid traumatizing himself in the future. He should be "selfish".
So, can make the daughter "black" really make the individual stronger?
In traditional Chinese culture, we always emphasize that giving is a virtue. People believe that knowing how to give is an attitude of life, a virtue of being a human being, and a reflection of a person's quality and cultivation. People who love to give always have the quality of tolerance and generosity, and they themselves are free in body and mind, and enjoy it.
So, giving is a virtue, and there is no doubt that some people, even though they have no strength to give, they still have to help others by making trouble for themselves. Such efforts will definitely lead to problems. The effort in this case is actually laying the groundwork for destroying the relationship. Because they are all mentally motivated: If you can't do what I want, I want to destroy the relationship.
Because when you are missing inside and cannot be "self-sufficient", being too kind to others becomes a disguised "request". You will unconsciously expect him to be good to you in the same way: if I give you, you have to be moved and grateful.
If you are not grateful, I will be disappointed and will leak off the offensive and inadvertently destroy our relationship.
Thoughts of those who are given
1) I didn’t feel your goodness
Many times, you think you have paid a lot, but unfortunately, the other party may not know, and this kind of ignorance is not pretending. The most common situation is that others will get used to it for a long time and become numb.
Because when others pay attention to your feelings, you always pretend to be fine, wrap your fragile self, hide your true feelings, and always use "It's okay" to respond to the other person. Usually, you always show an indifferent look. Over time, others will get used to ignoring your true feelings.
"I don't know" is very common in life
For example, you were very tired and just got home to go to bed, but in order to take care of her, you would still get up from the bed and endure your fatigue and go to the hospital to take care of her, and then comfort the other party and say that you came by.
The most common thing in real life and is often teased by people: girls’ efforts in love. Girls like a boy, take the initiative to like his friends and chat with him, and think they are huge contributions. However, in the eyes of boys, it is just a normal interaction between friends. During this period, girls experienced 10,000 heartbreaks, but the boys had no worries in their hearts. Even if they knew that you had a good impression of him, they thought you had just sent two messages.
There is a saying on the Internet that is very good: Doing it even though you know it is impossible is a person's greatest sincerity.
But this kind of self-confidence is really just a normal little thing in the other party’s experience.
In love, the girl wanted to get angry but held back, but the big pigs thought: You are normal and did nothing.
And the most important and annoying thing is that you think your patience is magnanimity, and forget it, don’t care, don’t worry, don’t want to hurt the harmony. But the other party thinks that you shut up because of the inappropriate reason, and he thinks he makes sense.
2) He mistakenly thinks that you love giving.
This is afraid that people who like to give are most afraid of:
The other party thinks that accepting your goodness is to fulfill you.
He feels that you are like living Lei Feng, who loves to give and likes to gain the sense of value needed from giving. If the other party thinks that if you don’t interrupt your kindness and satisfy your helpful attitude, you are already treating you well.
In fact, this kind of person really exists. We say that in a relationship, there must be corresponding needs behind every kind of effort. There are no unreasonable behaviors. People who love giving are highly mature in their minds. For them, being able to give for others is a manifestation of their sense of self-worth.
Just like some Lei Fengs need to fulfill their sense of value, the old lady will fulfill his ability to cross the road.
What is the difference between truth and goodness and hypocrisy?
Truth and goodness are behaviors that are inherently complete and self-sufficient, based on personal moral values, from the inside out.
and "hypocrisy" is the " moral kidnapping " in the relationship with giving as a threat.
I hope you are kind from the inside out.
