There is no chicken soup today, no preaching, just talking about my feelings during this period. After my Mili entered the first grade, I was a father who took care of his children. I have to encounter all kinds of questions and gazes. Most of the people who usually pick up children are elderly people and mothers. My father, as a "maverick" in the "mother circle". There are all kinds of forums online, such as mothers who are good at raising children, and most of the well-known parenting bloggers are mothers. Most of the topics related to search are that dad is unreliable, and dad is a nightmare to take care of his children.
Is it really unreliable for fathers to take care of their children a nightmare? Of course not. I really don’t like all kinds of stereotypes about my dad hijacking my kids . In my opinion, the more emphasis is placed on this stereotype of fathers when their children are growing up, the more many fathers become "hands-off bosses". This also confirms the topic that is highly discussed online: widowed parenting. In fact, if you think about it carefully, your father does not regard himself as a biological father, but only as a financial supporter, and your mother does not regard his father as the other half of the main force in raising children. Instead, she makes jokes and sarcasm, which is a very serious problem and contradiction in itself.
Here I am not saying how good it is to take care of the baby alone, and mothers are not born with experts in raising children, and they cannot rely entirely on the elderly when it comes to raising children. I personally think that it is better for father and mother to participate together as their children grow up. Because dad is relatively rational and restrained, moms are usually more emotional and excited, both are indispensable.
Mi Li is over six years old this year and just in the first grade. Due to work, Mili's mother does not have much time to take care of her children's life and study. So since I was in the first grade, I have become the main force in taking care of my children. This is not to say that I am particularly capable or excellent, nor to say that I have any special skills. I am also an ordinary father and an ordinary office worker. Taking care of your own children is a natural and natural thing. I also have to go to work, and the work pressure is also very high, but work can be a burden, and my children cannot be regarded as a burden no matter what. To put it really means that willpower determines action. It’s not about whether you want to do it or not, but about taking action if you decide.
Now the child is in the first grade, and my wife and I have basically maintained a relatively fixed division of labor. In the morning, I prepare breakfast, and my mother is responsible for urging her to get up, wash her face and brush her teeth. At night, I also cook, accompany her to do some homework or practice piano, occasionally go jumping rope or play games, take a bath by herself before going to bed or my mother bathes her, and then tell her some bedtime stories. Usually she goes to bed at around 9 o'clock. If you think about it carefully, the child actually relies on you and needs your care for you at the end of the day. I don’t think any father can’t do it well based on gender differences. The key is how you take care of him, how to allocate time, and who will decide at home.
After taking care of the child for a period of time, I personally feel that it is easier for fathers and children to establish an authority not brought by emotional suppression but a calmer force. The father's low voice and stable emotions are easier for children to accept and understand. More contact and more communication. If you bring the responsibility and patience in the workplace, and even the time you talk about the world in the workplace, you will find that your child will always look at you with a kind of admiration. Dad can also work hard, angry, and even depressed when raising a child. But from another perspective, what kind of emotions can’t be found in work? But the child’s reward for his father is unparalleled, that is, he truly has no reservations of trust, dependence, admiration and love. With these reasons, what are the reasons why we say that it is not reliable for fathers to take care of their children, and what are the reasons why we use the form of moral kidnapping to say that fathers to take care of their children is a nightmare.
