Today in China, there are more and more single mothers. Mom takes care of the children alone, and is both a father and a mother. Very hard work. And the mother's love for her children is so selfless and takes care of herself in detail. However, sometimes, due to special families and special environments, some deformities occur. How to face it? So how to resolve it? This is not a simple matter, it requires respect, wisdom and understanding.
Xiaoqiang (pseudonym, Xiaoqiang is used below) who walked into my studio was very shy, although he was 16 years old. But, I feel embarrassed to talk to strangers. He said to me slowly, "Teacher, I encountered something very strange, and I can no longer solve it. I am very entangled and troubled every day."
I comforted him and said, "It's okay, there is nothing that cannot be solved in the world." He sighed and said, "Is that so? I hope so." So he slowly told me about his affairs.
When he was 6 years old, his parents divorced. Because the child is still young, he is naturally awarded it to his mother. Mom is young, beautiful and sexy. It is very hard for a mother to take care of the child alone, but the son is sensible early on. He will take care of his mother. In addition, the child grows older and looks more and more like his father.
Since the age of 6, my mother has bathed her son. When she was out on a trip, she took him to the bathroom if she was worried. It is also because the mother spoiled her too much that the child still slept with her mother until she was 14 years old.
In the summer of 14 years old, something that shouldn't have happened. Although, the child and mother have been restrained before and try not to have intimate relationships as much as possible. However, that night, the son's restless body caused the child to fall asleep for a long time. The mother looked at her son with a care.
The mother said to her son, "I will hold you and sleep, so you may fall asleep." As we all know, this intimate hug led to their love from simple family affection. After all, the 14-year-old son already has obvious impulses. That night, the mother found the excitement, excitement and joy of having the first time with the child’s father. The child also fell asleep peacefully because he tried hard all night.
The second day, the third day, and the fourth day. They completely broke the boundaries. He is getting bolder and more relaxed. Two years later, the mother said to her son: "Child, I know that this is wrong for mom to do this, which will affect your study and life. However, mom really doesn't want to remarry and don't want to find a stepfather for you. It's better for us mothers to live like this for the rest of our lives. In this way, you won't lose money, and mom is in good health. When mom gets older, you are not old, you can find a suitable one. In this way, you can spend a few more years with your mother. Mom really can't bear to marry another woman when you grow up, while I stay alone in the empty room. I really can't live so wronged in my life."
16-year-old children know how serious the consequences of such a thing will be. So, he agreed to his mother. I also promised my mother: I will love my mother for the rest of my life! Even if my mother is old, she will wait by her side. So, the mother loves her children more deeply. And because of this special relationship with the mother, the child is as good as a person.
The child is 18 years old. He found that he was different from other teenagers. His mind and psychology have not grown accordingly. Not like a man at all. Moreover, when he likes a certain girl, his mother will be jealous and angry. He even said to him: "I am so nice to you. You are less than 20 years old, so do you want to ignore your mother?" So he had to surrender to his mother.
Later, the child felt something was wrong. I really want to change this situation, but I can't change it. So, I found me for systematic psychological counseling, and of course, I came alone with his mother on my back.
There are some things that we need to adjust and change. Love and family can be together, but this kind of advanced life is not something that ordinary people can do well.If you have that ability, you can not only make your mother happy, but also do your own life well; you can not only take good care of your mother, but also find a virtuous daughter-in-law for your mother at the age when you should get married; you can not only take good care of your mother's youth, but also take good care of your mother's old age. In this case, we should not interfere in matters where family affection and love are integrated, just respect it.
If you can't adjust, you will fall into pain. Then both sides find a plan that is acceptable. Ultimately, all troubles and pains are problems at the spiritual level. If our spiritual level reaches a certain level, this problem is no longer a problem.
Change can change, respect cannot change. Open your heart, give full play to your strengths, and do your best to do what you should do. To what extent you have finally achieved, as long as you really put your heart and do your best, just have a clear conscience!
