I guess many daughters-in-law have heard from mother-in-law that I have no obligation to take care of you, and I have no obligation to serve you during confinement.
is right, there is no problem. Taking care of grandchildren is not an obligation that grandma must fulfill, and serving confinement is not something that mother-in-law must do.
Similarly, many mothers-in-law have also heard from their daughter-in-law that I have no obligation to support you. If you are sick, I have no obligation to seek your children. This is true, and there is no problem with
. Many mothers-in-law always scold their daughter-in-law for being unfilial, accusing them of not supporting themselves or taking care of themselves. However, the law also does not stipulate that their daughter-in-law has the obligation to respect their parents-in-law.
obligation, only exists in parent-child relationships. Parents have the obligation to raise their children, just because you choose to be a parent, and you choose to bring your children to this world. Since you have made a decision, you should be responsible for your decision and fulfill your obligation to raise your children.
Children have the obligation to support their parents, just because their parents have put in their efforts to raise you and you must repay the kindness of raising you for your childbirth.
As for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, since there is no blood relationship and no grace of giving birth, there is no obligation, but only love.
As the writer zweig said: All the gifts of fate are secretly bid for the price. You have to exchange it in another way, or repay it.
As a daughter-in-law, if you hope that when you need help the most, your in-laws will help you overcome difficulties, you will have to repay your in-laws’ help. After your in-laws get old, you will also extend your hand to respect the elderly who are good to you.
As a parent-in-law, if you hope that your daughter-in-law will respect you and let you spend the rest of your life with decent life, you must understand the principle of looking at your mother-in-law for ten years and treat your daughter-in-law better.
She will treat you as much as you treat her. This is fair. This is not stingy, but repaying kindness with virtue and straightforwardness, just to prevent one from suffering in vain.
"Your mother is in the first grade of junior high school, and I am in the fifteenth grade, right? Ten years ago, she refused to serve me during confinement, did not take care of my children, and ran to take care of your sister. Now she is sick, and her son-in-law dislikes her, so she wants to morally kidnap me. How can such a good thing be in the world?"
Hearing his wife Ms. Peng's words, Mr. Zhao was speechless. To be honest, he himself felt that his mother did too much.
01.
"What did my mother-in-law think? I know very well. To put it bluntly, it is the hardship she has suffered. If she doesn't let her daughter-in-law eat it again, she feels unbalanced."
According to Mr. Zhao's chat with his wife, Mr. Zhao's grandmother is not a good mother-in-law. She gave birth to three sons and favored two younger ones. She caught the eldest daughter-in-law and bullied her. Mr. Zhao's father is macho. He just lives a comfortable life of clothes and food to open his mouth. He doesn't care at all how much grievances his wife suffered and how much suffering he suffered.
Without the support of her husband, she met a mean and partial mother-in-law. Mr. Zhao's mother has not had a few good days since she got married, but this is not the reason for her to bully her daughter-in-law.
"My mother-in-law clearly knows that if a woman does not have a good confinement period, she will suffer a lot. The reason why her legs hurt so much when the weather changes. She can't sleep at night is because she has not had a good confinement period and has suffered from confinement illness. However, she still wants to copy such pain on me. Before I gave birth, she ran away and went to her daughter's house."
At that time, the eldest sister-in-law's daughter had already After she was 3 years old, her elder sister-in-law was not pregnant. It was obvious that Ms. Peng, who was about to give birth, needed more care. However, even if her son took action and persuaded her mother to help, Mr. Zhao's mother was indifferent: "I just care about my biological parents and let your mother serve you in confinement."
"She knew that my mother had always been in poor health and was often hospitalized when she was sick. Not to mention serving me in confinement, she needed my father to take care of her. She just wanted me to take care of the hardships she had suffered again."
In the end, Ms. Peng's parents felt sorry for her daughter and gave her a sum of money to hire her confinement nanny . Mr. Zhao worked while working and took time to coax her children and take care of her wife. Ms. Peng had to finish her confinement.
02.
Although she had finished her confinement, she had no problems, but the matter of raising children became a big problem.
"My husband and I were not in good condition and we were in a free relationship. Although the housing prices were not as high as that time, we still couldn't afford it, so we had to keep renting a house. If I don’t go out to work, my husband’s money can only support his family and he can’t save the money to buy a house. Could it be that our family of three will always live a rented house? "
In desperation, Mr. Zhao took action again to find his mother, hoping that his mother would take care of their children for their son and grandson so that his wife could go out to work.
"When I took you siblings, I not only had to go to the field to work, but also served your grandmother. Your grandma is irritable and always uses something to hit me. Look, these marks are all made by her with boiling water and scalding them, and I have no complaints. I can do it, why can't your wife do it? The daughter-in-law does not serve her mother-in-law, but instead asks her to serve her and serve her as a cow, horse, and take care of her children. Is there such a reason in the world? "
The eldest sister-in-law also supported my mother on the side, not letting her take care of her younger brother's children, accusing her younger brother of being unfilial, and disobeying her parents after marrying a wife. Mr. Zhao had no choice but to return without success.
"My mother couldn't bear to watch me suffer, so she came with my dad and helped us take care of her children. My mother was so poor and she had to worry about me. When she thought of this, I hated my mother-in-law so much. "
03.
Last year, Ms. Peng's mother passed away at the age of 58. Although she was physically responsible, Ms. Peng believed that it was inevitable that she would be tired of taking care of her grandson, and she hated her mother-in-law even more. After her mother passed away, her father planned to move back to her hometown and support her in the old age alone. Mr. Zhao refused to let her father-in-law stay and wanted to support her father-in-law for her death. Over the past ten years, they have saved money and bought a three-bedroom apartment.
"We are a couple, a son, and a father, and there is no room for her mother-in-law? Humph, I know what he meant. I wanted to drive my dad away. She moved in and then ordered me to serve her, thinking beautifully. "
Mr. Zhao's mother does think so, and she also thinks she is right. Anyway, her son-in-law does the same. It turns out that some time ago, Mr. Zhao's brother-in-law took his parents to the house for retirement and drove his mother-in-law away on the grounds of no place.
Mr. Zhao's mother not only did not make trouble with her daughter and son-in-law, but instead came to make trouble for her son, asking her son to drive away her father-in-law who had been with her for ten years, and let her move in.
"I just gave birth to me. My mother is gone. I will definitely protect my father's old age. Whoever dares to harm my father's interests will dare to turn against anyone. You want to live in my house, but there is no way. Your son dares to say something to you, and I will drive him out together. "
Fortunately, Mr. Zhao was not so confused. He refused his mother's unreasonable request and only agreed to give his mother a support fee every month, and asked her to find her daughter.
04.
psychologist Wu Zhihong also said in "Why does family hurt people": "Mother-in-law is disappointed in her marriage and will turn her attention to her son, which leads to the worsening of the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. "
My marriage is unhappy, and a kind-hearted person will have the idea of "I've been wet in the rain, so I will hold an umbrella for her". He will treat his daughter-in-law kindly and prevent his daughter-in-law from suffering from the marriage. Such a mother-in-law deserves respect from the daughter-in-law and deserves the filial piety of the daughter-in-law from the bottom of his heart.
And the mother-in-law who "I'm not doing well, why should she live comfortably? Don't taste all the suffering I've suffered" has changed from a victim to a perpetrator, passed on the evil, and planted the evil cause, and naturally he can only get the evil results.
You're not doing well, that's the responsibility of your man, it's caused by your lack of resistance and not knowing how to protect yourself. What does it have to do with your daughter-in-law? Releasing anger to innocent people is a manifestation of a coward.
END.
Fengyun Please discuss: Have you ever encountered a bad mother-in-law who has suffered and wants her daughter-in-law to eat it again? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
