Are you crazy because of your child’s rebellion? ?
Children are disobedient and like to challenge your authority and patience, so that they will not do anything, and do everything against you. They like to be angry, emotional, stubborn and extreme, rude and rude. Maybe you have tried nagging, preaching, and punishing and beating.
But no method works, it can only make me angry. What should I do? !
Dr. Bernstein, who has more than 20 years of experience in family education and consultation and has successfully helped more than 1,000 families fighting rebellious children, has taught him all the magical methods of changing rebellious children:
Rebellion is not the child's fault. If you want to change your child, start with changing yourself!
new warm and upbringing techniques designed by parents of children aged 4 to 18.
You can not beat, scold, or be angry, and you will be able to regain control in ten days, let your children grow up healthily and happily, and let your family return to peace and warmth!
Children do not have the so-called "rebellion period"
Many parents have a cognitive misunderstanding, believing that rebellion is a phased problem. As long as they pass that stage, children will naturally become mature and sensible.
Therefore, all parents need to do is to endure silently and wait for their children to complete that stage.
This is actually making excuses for the rebellion of children, and to some extent, it is also evading one's own educational responsibility.
The author believes that children do not have the so-called "rebellious period". Children may have rebellious behaviors in childhood and adolescence. Rebellion is not a product of a specific stage, but may run through the entire growth process of the child.
Some people even show strong rebelliousness and even anti-socialism after they grow up. This is the consequence of rebellious behavior not being corrected in time in early education.
In the face of these rebellious behaviors, parents are either angry or yelling with their children, or are helpless and fall into sorrow, depression and troubles.
Conflict and confrontation between parents and their children continues to escalate, and eventually both sides suffer losses and the parent-child relationship breaks down.
Of course, each child has different levels of rebellion, and the causes of rebellion are also different. Only by understanding the reasons for the rebellion of children can we prescribe the right medicine.
Understand children's inner feelings and needs
Well-known psychologist who has been engaged in primary and secondary school teacher training. He was once a visiting professor of psychology at Peking University, , , , Xu Haoyuan , said:
, parents hope their children are good, but often don't know how to do it. The most common thing is that they do not consider their children's psychological needs, but design their lives for their children based on their own psychological needs.
As a result, they educate their children out of love, but in the end they develop non-love behaviors that restrict children's growth.
When children feel their inner feelings and needs, they are not seen or understood by their families, they cannot feel loved, but are controlled. If they want to maintain their self-esteem and autonomy, they will rebel against the requirements and attitudes of adults and show rebellious behavior.
Who understands your feelings and needs best during the process of growing up?
is understood. How do you feel? And how does it help you show good or positive behavior?
Who least understands your feelings and needs during the process of growing up?
is ignored and misunderstood. How do you feel? How does it affect your escape or combat mode?
Recalling my growth experience, do you think that being understood by others is so beautiful that I can give myself more courage and strength to be myself;
Or I feel that if someone could understand me when I was a child, my heart would definitely be softer and I would not do those unwise negative confrontation or rebellious behaviors. Those dark years were really painful and affected my growth.
So, put your heart in mind, it is time to express your understanding of your love to your rebellious child!
Your understanding is the most precious gift to your children.
Happy childhood healing for life
Children are as pure as water. When we irrigate and praise, they can bloom beautiful flowers and even grow into a big tree; when we irrigate garbage, children will only be physically and mentally exhausted, and fight against negative energy for a lifetime.
Happy childhood heals a lifetime, and an unfortunate childhood requires a lifetime to heal.
Oral praise is the easiest way to make children feel happy.
However, we are easily trapped in the vicious circle of only seeing the shortcomings of children and not seeing the advantages of children.
Results The more we criticize our children’s shortcomings, the more rebellious the children will be, and in the end, both parents and children will suffer.
If the child is already "rebellious", we must first see the child's strengths from imperfection and find the child's bright spots from bad luck.
When children encounter difficulties, we need to combine encouragement and praise.
In addition to verbal praise, we must be cautious in using non-verbal rewards, especially material rewards, because we tend to use material as a tool to bribe children to obey.
We also need to note that non-verbal rewards promised to children must be achieved, otherwise the children will feel distrust.
Written at the end
If you truly love your children, give up your inherent thinking patterns and overreactions and get rid of the destructive, worthless battle for rights.
Only by giving up control over the child can you gain more control; only by no longer forcing the child to be obedient will the child start to listen to you.
Change yourself is not an important way to change your child, but the only way.
May you no longer be anxious in family education , but calm and firm, positive and not anxious, accompany your children to grow up calmly and healthily;
May your children grow into people with independent personality, warm and peaceful personality, and the ability to be happy.
