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Because people are weak, they must rely on adults to survive, so there must be competition between brothers and feet, and they are all competing for space for survival. So no matter how well you are prepared, competition between brothers and sisters (expression or not) exists! Their impact on each other's lives is huge, and it is a very important part of in the native family system. 
Some parents believe that if they don’t have children, there will be no competition and there will be no more difficulties.
does not actually exist. If you lack this part of your experience in life, you must make up for it before you can grow up.
In other words, only children are not lonely or are not as happy as families with many children.
Happy adults are the same. They all accept the necessary training of difficulties and setbacks, and only after they get out, become mature and independent can they be happy.
Brothers and soccer competition exists in every family of multiple children, but this is not a bad thing, just as if we don’t need to eliminate all difficulties and the night.
We have this idea and will only seek troubles.
The correct way to do it is to learn the skills to survive in difficulties, which is the attitude that life should have.
Only when the relationship between brothers and sisters is well established can we get along better with others. This is one of the most important topics in life and a necessary path to happiness.
If you figure out the problem of brothers and feet competition, you don’t need to blame yourself for your opponents.
All parents who see brothers and feet competing for themselves are due to lack of self-security.
If you lack security, you will feel too painful and unable to deal with it when difficulties come, and you will feel that you have treated your child unfairly.
In fact, life must be painful to grow. If you don’t endure hardship here, you will endure hardships there. In short, you have to endure hardships.
If you can face difficulties and be satisfied with yourself and your life, you will not think about over-compensating anyone.
When a child is in pain, he can handle the child's pain and help him grow, rather than being unable to extricate himself from his own pain.
Special love, separate love, rather than saying "I am a bowl of water" in front of the child, remember that every child hopes that he is the position of the sun in his parents' hearts!
Only when this is confirmed will the child breathe a sigh of relief, will not be petty about love, and will be curious about other things.
is a place to talk about love. If a child has conflicts, it is not to let you be the referee, but to let you express your concern and love to every child.
Then guide the children to learn to cooperate in conflict, rather than learn to blame each other and argue about right or wrong.
It is too reasonable for children to have conflicts, and people cannot be exactly the same. Therefore, the so-called social ability is the ability to resolve conflicts and contradictions, and the ability to move towards cooperation.
And the most important thing in cooperation is listening.
When children quarrel, they should intervene and not be referees, but strive for the trust of their two children and build a bridge for them.
Let them learn to listen to each other, such as giving the rules of the game to take turns and listen to, and then giving them space to solve problems themselves, so that they can try to negotiate and cooperate.
After giving birth to a second child, the boss of will appear: making trouble, losing his temper, and even regressing his behavior.
linguistic regression:
"I want to eat! I want to hug! I want to kiss my parents!"
behavior regression:
chum Mom/Elder feeds;
Learning to have a baby get angry, cry, throw things, etc...
There will even be a regression in demand:
You have to be held in your mother's arms to sleep;
html l0 and the second child sibling compete for the embrace of their parents;Constantly confirm with their parents whether they are good babies and whether they will not want him;
Who do parents prefer, etc...
Not only should we not scold the boss, but we can also play the "degeneration game" with the boss according to the advice of psychologists:
For example, pretending that he is a little baby, and his family is rushing to take care of him, playing for 20 minutes a day, playing for half a month, and you will see a miracle.
allows him to temporarily return to the baby state, not be able to eat, eat the baby's food, not be able to wear clothes for the time being, etc.
Postscript:
Overall, our family's transition is relatively smooth, but there will still be some challenges, which are normal.
However, now I think about it, if my husband had a "high demand baby" second child, the situation would be much more complicated [covering his face]. Fortunately, the eldest is a child with thick and big lines.
So if you encounter a "sensitive" boss, or the boss's sense of security was insufficient in the past, and the boss was less than three years old (this is a critical period for the construction of a sense of security) , the challenge of brothers and soccer competition will be greater.
In this case, parents need to be patient, careful and more tolerant.
I am Niu Ma Peng Xiaobeng, the mother of two children, a psychological counselor who draws comics, a director of the special committee of the Chinese Family Education Society, publishing the book "Growing up, don't panic", focusing on the growth path of family relationships for 9 years, 3 years of psychological counseling, more than 1,200 articles, and the growth stories of hundreds of thousands of mothers, live calmly and at ease together.
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