text / Moss mother parenting record
Introduction: An unexpected experiment allowed scientists to discover the most primitive dynamic system of the human brain
1954, social psychologists James Olds and Peter Milner accidentally discovered that an extremely tiny needle-shaped electrode was implanted into an area of the mouse brain, and then stimulating this area with electric shock will stimulate the mouse brain to secrete a mysterious substance, and the mouse will have a strong sense of pleasure.
After scientists guided the mice to obtain electrode stimulation by pressing the lever, something surprising about happened! In order to get pleasure, the guinea pigs constantly press the lever for up to 15-20 hours. The frequency of pressing is as high as more than 3000 times per hour. During this period, Xiao white mouse refused to eat and sleep until he was exhausted and died of exhaustion. The similar situation of
occurs in humans, and the situation is roughly similar.
1986, in order to relieve the pain caused by a patient by chronic diseases, the doctor designed a remote-controlled shock device and installed an electrode on her right thalamus . When she felt so painful, she pressed the switch to relieve the pain with the pleasure caused by the brain stimulation. But two years later, medical staff discovered that in order to pursue this pleasure, the woman suffered from arrhythmia . Finally, she was sent to the hospital and found that her fingers pressing the button were already full of skin, but she was still immersed in the pleasure brought by mysterious material stimulation, which was as terrifying as drug use.
In this article, we will continue to talk about self-control. When it comes to self-control, one topic we must discuss is how we lose control. Only by finding the reason for losing control and then evading it can self-control be achieved.
As the experiment mentioned in the foreword said, scientists found through research that this area stimulated by the electrode is part of the most primitive dynamic system of the human brain. The system of has gradually evolved and became the "engine" that drives us to take action and consume physical energy. Moreover, is not the only electrode that can activate this brain system, the world is full of things that can bring stimulation. Such as mobile phones, food, games, gambling, etc. , things that can tempt people, will make us "villains" and fascinate by what "I want", and make it more difficult to say "I don't want".
1. I can’t stop by flashing Douyin . She is so boring but becomes a hit. She just can’t help but buy blind boxes. Why?
We open Douyin. After watching a short video, we still want to watch the next one. We are always looking forward to the exciting content of the next video. This makes us keep watching one short video after another like we have obsessive-compulsive disorder .
Recently, a small game called "Sheep, Sheep" became popular. Many people say that while calling the game too boring, they can't help but play it over and over again.
and the "blind box" that has suddenly become popular in the past two years. A simple model costs only less than 10 yuan, but it can be sold for dozens or hundreds of yuan. Rational people say that buying blind boxes is paying IQ tax. But there are many middle school students around me who can’t help but buy blind boxes as soon as they go out to play.
Whether it is brushing Douyin, playing games, or buying blind boxes, it is essentially the same as the leverage pressed by a mouse. These things, like electric shocks, activate the dynamic system in our brains (some researchers also call "reward systems"), making us constantly want and want. What makes us even more sad is that these products are all designed by designers to target this weakness of human nature. Their birth is intended to control people's reward systems and let consumers take the bait.
Every seemingly ordinary interaction design of online games has undergone many research and experiments, with the purpose of making users addicted to products. Douyin also has a complete set of unique algorithms that allow the platform to continuously push content you like.
When you walk into the store, the first thing you see is the free trials in the pastry area. This is not an accident. Because, food and beverage samples contain two important reward elements - free and delicious food.This can further inspire people to "find rewards" mentality. If the promotional officer who distributes the samples looks good, the situation will be even worse. There are also music and smells, which can make consumers develop desires that do not exist.
In fact, , our lives have been surrounded by various "temptations". So, parents always say that their children lack self-control, how did we learn deeply back then? You should know that in the face of so many temptations, everyone's self-control is facing great challenges. What's more, it's a minor child.
Regarding this, the first thing parents need to do is to give full understanding and care, rather than criticism and blame.
2. Please be careful, dopamine
When a thing can make people feel pleasure, the brain will release a neurotransmitter called "dopamine". In 2001, Stanford neuroscientist Brian Knusen published a heavyweight experimental report proving that dopamine will prompt people to desire rewards. This expectation for rewards has pushed people to act. It is the source of all desires and motivation. The purpose of the evolution of the dopamine system is to inspire us to survive and reproduce. Without dopamine, humans will lose their will to survive. It will make you desire what you don’t have and drive you to find something new. If you obey it, it will reward you; if you don't obey it, it will make you suffer. It is the source of creativity, which makes us pursue success at all costs, but it is also the key reason for addiction and madness.
It is worth mentioning that dopamine does not make people feel the joy of getting a reward. In other words, dopamine doesn't care whether you are happy or not, but it will use the promise of happiness to keep us busy for our livelihoods. But at the same time, happiness seems to be not what people pursue. When people get what they want, that kind of happiness and satisfaction is fleeting. The next moment, people will be put into a state of "desire" and pursue what they want.
The characteristics of modern technology "timely fun" and the original "reward system" have made us slaves to dopamine and we can't stop from now on.
3. How do we teach children to break free from the "curse" of dopamine and develop their self-control?
1. Fish tank method: an effective therapy to quit addiction. It can be learned from the management of children.
dopamine the "boring" things, which can stimulate people's motivation to do things. For example, shopping malls promote sales through lottery activities. The teacher teaches children to learn knowledge by playing games.
Before we know that the human brain is looking forward to being rewarded. Some institutions that treat addiction use the "fish tank method" to help patients quit addiction, which is precisely this characteristic of the brain. Let’s first look at the magic of this fish tank method called “the most effective intervention therapy”.
In the alcohol and drug rehabilitation center, the staff will put a lot of notes in a vessel similar to a fish tank. Half of the notes read the price ranged from $1 to $20, and one piece of paper read the price of $100. The other half only wrote the four words "continue to work hard" on the paper. If the patient can overcome his desires within a period of time and passes drug testing, he will have the opportunity to pull out a piece of paper from the fish tank. This means you may get $100, but more likely to get a reward worth $1, or a word of encouragement.
Maybe you think this motivation is too small and should not play any role. However, studies have shown that 83% of patients who participated in the "fish tank reward" persisted for a full 12 weeks of treatment. Only 20% of patients who used general treatment and had no reward commitments persisted.
experimental results also show that the fish tank method is actually more effective than giving patients a certain monetary incentive directly. is more excited when facing a possible jackpot than a guaranteed small reward. The unpredictable rewards of contain greater attraction and can stimulate dopamine in your brain.
is OK. Speaking of this, everyone should have understood the principle of this method. The fish tank method is easy to operate.When applied to children, parents can first think about what rewards can stimulate their children's dopamine? Which reward does a child desire the most and what is the reward? Setting rewards based on children's specific preferences will be more effective.
2. Is it because I am not focused when listening to music and doing homework? Wrong, this can improve children's self-control
Many students like to listen to music while doing homework. In cafes, we often see young people working with computers, and middle school students will also light a latte to do their homework. Sometimes parents worry, can they concentrate on doing their homework?
In fact, if the child is really used to this method and does not have obvious inefficiency in homework, then you will not let the child maintain this state. Because Dr. McGniegel, the author of "Self-Control", said that music and drinks are effective ways to stimulate children's dopamine. It can help children better fight "boring" homework.
Dr. Magniger even quipped that if you buy a bunch of scratch lottery tickets and put it next to the work and study tasks you want to delay, and you can scratch one for every item you finish, and you will likely take action immediately.
In a word, if something makes you feel unpleasant, or you always delay and try to associate it with things that can make your dopamine neurons burn, the situation will improve quickly.
Recently, I used this method to train myself to strengthen my exercise, which was very effective. I always think that exercise is a boring thing, and I repeat the movements over and over again, and I am still so tired. This is tantamount to self-abuse. Because I often can't hold on for a few days, naturally there is no effect and no sense of accomplishment. Recently, I have started to switch boring strength training to boxing, and I have given up running outdoors, mainly relying on climbing stairs. It takes 80-100 floors, 30-40 minutes to climb the stairs while watching " talk show conference ", but it doesn't feel that difficult.
3. Stimulate children's positive interest, rather than curbing desires themselves,
Before we know that dopamine is the source of all desires and motivation. If something is extremely tempting for us, it is difficult to restrain inner desires by just distinguishing right and wrong. For example, children play games. That game is very fun. The more parents want to control their children from playing, the stronger their desire to play will be. Once you have the opportunity to find it, you will try your best to play the game.
Therefore, if you want to reduce the loss of control of your children on the wrong path, it is useless to rely on forced suppression. At any time, desire will bring the most powerful internal driving force. What parents need to do is not to curb desire itself, but to stimulate children's interest and desire in good things. For example, how to stimulate children's interest in learning. Are you forcing your child into the tutoring class to keep practicing questions? Or should I get my child interested in a course first? When your child makes progress, will you give him encouragement and recognition, or will you tell him that "this grade is nothing"? These educational details will affect children's interest in learning.
When children have a stronger desire to explore knowledge, they will naturally reduce their attention to games and the Internet. It is absolutely futile for anyone to develop self-control by curbing. Parents should focus on construction.
is written at the end:
Those who can read this article to the end are all people who have a spirit of inquiry about the problem.
The first half of this article contains a lot of obscure experimental content. When I was writing, I was also considering whether to talk about so much professional content. Isn’t it better to share the final method directly with readers? But after careful consideration, I decided to explain the causes of brain out of control as clearly as possible. There are two reasons:
(1) Through scientific interpretation, parents and children can truly understand that the brain sometimes makes mistakes, which makes us addicted to things that should not be addicted to. This does not mean that I am such a bad person, just because the human brain naturally has such characteristics. Thinking of like this will make people understand more acceptance.
Parents accept their children, and their children do not deny themselves at will. This is the cornerstone of their pursuit of upward growth.
(2) From another perspective, although the world we live in always makes us desire, as long as we understand the truth and know where desire comes from, when we face temptation, we can at least understand how to fight rationally. Exercise the power of "I don't want it," which will reduce many mistakes and failures.
I am Moss and an active practitioner in the parenting industry. I use code words to record my growth process and my children. Original is not easy. If you like my articles, please click to follow and forward!
