If children can get excellent results, they do occupy the most important position in the hearts of many parents, but in fact, just letting their children focus on studying is not enough. We also need to let their children learn to be independent, learn to take care of themselves, etc.
This is because parents cannot always be with their children. They must learn to think and solve problems independently, and be able to complete things independently in order to calmly deal with the future.
Case 1: Huihui is already 3 years old, but her hands-on ability is relatively poor. She wakes up every morning and wants to wear clothes by herself, but because her mother thinks her daughter is slow, she puts clothes on her every time.
While having breakfast, Huihui picked up the bottle and wanted to pour milk into the bowl by herself, but her mother was afraid that her daughter would spill the milk onto the table , so she stopped Huihui from thinking about pouring milk by herself, and her mother would pour her milk for her.
When I was about to go out to kindergarten in the morning, my mother watched her daughter tie her shoelaces clumsily. Because she was afraid of being late, she was in a hurry to help her tie her shoelaces. Until now, the child has never learned to tie his shoelaces by himself.
When we arrived in kindergarten, Huihui couldn't do many things, and even if the shoelaces were loose, the teacher would ask her to tie the shoelaces. For this reason, the children in kindergarten often joked about Huihui.
Case 2: Junjun is a little boy who is almost 4 years old. He likes to eat by himself, but his mother used to feed him because she was afraid that he would fall off the rice grains and get dirty her clothes. Junjun was very unwilling at first, but later he gradually got used to it. Now he has been in kindergarten and still refuses to eat by himself. His mother has no choice but to chase him and feed him every day.
Junjun also likes to play with toys. After playing with toys, he always likes to put the toys in a large carton. My mother was afraid that Junjun would not be able to sort out the toys, so she simply helped him sort out the toys by herself, but Junjun was unhappy.
In life, there are always some old mothers complaining: "My child is really clumsy, and he helped him again today! When washing dishes, he broke the bowl; when mopping the floor, he knocked down the vase; when washing his own socks, he also made the floor full of water... I spend a lot of time every day to help my child clean up the mess."
We often find that children are like Huihui in the case, doing things in a clumsy way. Either they didn't do it well, or they were dragging things on, which made people anxious, and sometimes they hurt themselves because of their furious hands. In this case, most parents can't help but come forward to help or clean up the mess, helping their children do things they should do.
But over time, the disadvantages will gradually appear in children, and their ability to take care of themselves becomes worse and worse.
This has caused many parents to wonder: why other people's children are so neat, while their children are clumsy in their work!
01 The child becomes clumsy, which is related to the mother's move
The reason why the child becomes clumsy is that in the final analysis, it is caused by the action of parents, especially mothers - "too diligent".
Two or three-year-old children have begun to have a sense of self-awareness. They have to do everything themselves because they want to try and use actions to express to their parents that they have become independent people, and at the same time they also desire to help others and get affirmation.
From another level, their courage to try new things is the beginning of their learning new things, familiarity with their surroundings, and mastering new skills.
But we need to see another point. Compared with adults, children's thinking development is not mature, their life experience and practical abilities are insufficient, and they find it difficult to foresee some possible dangers; in addition, the children are still in the growth and development stage and lack corresponding training, so sometimes they will indeed "screw up" things, which is naturally regarded as "making trouble" in the eyes of parents.
In addition, out of various licking feelings towards children, such as worrying that their children will make mistakes in doing things, or worrying that they will cause greater trouble to clean up the "mess" afterwards, many parents would rather take care of the problem, but did not consider the problem from the perspective of cultivating their children's abilities.
The result of doing this for a long time will only cause the child to lose his basic ability to take care of himself from now on.
02 "Lazy Dad" and "Lazy Mother" are more conducive to improving children's self-care ability
In cultivating children's self-care ability, it is not a good thing for parents to be too "diligent". Sometimes being a "lazy Dad" and "lazy Mother" is more conducive to improving children's self-care ability. The core element of the so-called "lazy" word
is "let go". On the premise of ensuring safety, believe and encourage children to do what they can.
If we see children tidy up their internal affairs, we must control our hands and mouth, not help easily, and not nag them easily, but we can teach children some skills and methods to help them improve their ability to do things.
The non-interference and nagging of "lazy fathers" and "lazy mothers" often give children more freedom, prompting them to take the initiative to explore and try.
Conclusion
On the premise of ensuring the safety of children, parents should try not to help or interfere with their children as much as possible, and can observe from the side.
If you find that the child alone cannot solve the problem, parents can help you appropriately at this time.
The general principle is: the more clumsy children do things, the more we should provide them with the opportunity to practice hands-on, so that they can cultivate self-confidence through continuous attempts and improve their ability to take care of themselves.
