Tell me about the strange mentality of raising children. The title is me
My Yuzi brother is a Puhua, and he really doesn't have any talent. I have always adjusted myself to a Puhua mother's mentality and have no high expectations for him.
But, but, I always feel a little lucky in my heart. What if he is a hidden master? It's just that it's hidden too deeply and hasn't been discovered yet.
I wonder how many people are as entangled as me?
1The entanglement of hope for a son to become a dragon
The eight words "I hope for a son to become a dragon, hope for a daughter to become a phoenix" really express the voice of parents all over the world. Few people think when planning to have a child, "Give a child, it's just as unpromising as me,"
. Every child comes to this world with his parents' beautiful expectations. From the moment he is born, he uses his every move to verify his parents' expectations.
The child cries so loudly that he can become a singer in the future; the child has long legs and he can become an athlete in the future;
The child can dance with the rhythm at such a young age, and he really has a talent for dancing...
The younger the child, the stronger the plasticity, and the more beautiful the parents expect him. is as said in the joke, the ones who often post their children in the circle of friends are all young children.
Children can laugh, leave, run, ride bicycles, swim, sing, dance and perform... Parents at this stage have beautiful and bright expectations for their children.
When children slowly enter kindergartens and schools and see more talented children, many people's expectations for their children have also gradually begun to adjust.
Children in elementary school, above the third grade, disappeared collectively in the circle of friends, and occasionally appeared various small rebellions and fantasies that were complained about by their own mothers.
Parents’ expectations for their children have dropped from becoming a "dragon" to not becoming a "slag"!
2Realistic slap
No wonder, a child who used to be so talented became ordinary and ordinary when he first studied professionally.
htmlYou can dance so cute and rhythmic when you listen to music at the age of 12. Why have you learned to dance for so many years and still so ordinary?
The child has obviously liked such music since he was 2 years old. Why do you still have to urge me to practice piano now and cry and make a fuss?
Children can sing so many English songs at the age of two or three. Why is the English language barely passing now, and their spoken language is not as smooth as when they were young?
This series of blows is really blunt to parents, and one knife hurts more and more
But I believe that there are still many parents like me, saying, "Accept that children are ordinary people, and they don't get rid of their children so tired", but they rarely stop doing things in their actions. Why don’t you dare to stop
?
Because of the little luck in my heart, I hope that this child who is not enlightened for the time being will suddenly become enlightened one day. Just like a martial arts master suddenly breaking the Ren Du meridian , his martial arts have made rapid progress.
was also worried that as soon as I stopped, the child would turn from a normal baby into a scumbag, worried that the nearly half of the students who were diligent in the high school entrance examination would have their own baby.
So, parents kept giving their children some extra lessons, patiently taught mathematics, Chinese and English, and solved difficult knowledge points...
Let themselves and their children turn like gyroscopes, and their emotions also fluctuate with their children's performance.
Neighbor's mother would get angry with her fifth-grade son every few days. Her voice was soaring through the thick walls that it drifted into the ears of Yuzi Brother.
Every time this time, Brother Yuzi would prick up his ears and wanted to hear carefully that the brother next door had done something wrong, which made his mother furious
What the brother next door did was just a mistake that most primary school students would make. They would delay their homework, write their books in a mess, write their words seriously, be careless and careless, and they would mess up the room and have a bad temper...
The mother who was furious the previous second, quickly changed the channel for her child's academic plan and began to carefully check homework to check for omissions and fill in...
3Work hard in the beautiful expectations
Actually, calm down and think about it. The quality of the temporary grades really cannot determine how far the child can go.
I still remember my experience in elementary school. My grades are also very good, firmly ranked in the top 3 in the class, occasionally first, but most of the time, the first place is another girl.
She is very down-to-earth and obedient, and her handwriting is neat and serious. But after the fourth grade, I got the first place more times than her. In the end, she didn't even pass the high school exam.
Of course, my classmates’ examples are many accidental. I just want to say that an exam, a certain stage of academic performance, or even a certain major exam cannot determine a person’s destiny.
We sometimes attach too much importance to our children's temporary performance, and are confused by the current difficulties, get into the horns of questions, and forget to look at the road ahead.
Stephen Levitt In " Devil Economics ", he used a lot of economic knowledge and huge data analysis to find some factors closely related to whether children become rich:
positively related factors are:
parents are well educated and have a high socio-economic status ;Mother gave birth to her first child after she was 30 or 30; there are many books in the family...
. The factors that have no connection are:
. The family is very harmonious; parents just moved to a good community; mothers take care of their children full-time; parents often take their children to museums; often get spanked; often watch TV; parents read to their children every day...
This result will make many hard-working parents sad in reality, and it doesn't matter if they beat their children? It doesn’t matter if your child watches TV? It’s useless to read to your children every day?
Any study has its applicable conditions, and it can only be used as a reference, and there is no need to be too serious. But this research still provides us with new ideas.
The factors related to children's success are related to parents' status and home learning environment.
Simply put, it is not that parents can fall in love with reading by taking their children to read, but that if they have a collection of books and a reading environment at home, parents themselves are people who love reading, which may affect their children.
Even if it is a child, parents use correct and scientific methods to roll the child, and the effect is completely different from that of parents who use a small whip to drive the hard roll. The ultimate answer to the proposition of
号1号 will return to the quotation itself!
When you become better, you will become the starting line for your children; when you roll, you will learn better methods for your children, so that your children can gain more effort.
Children do not meet our expectations, and it is not all for children:
Maybe our expectations are too high, maybe the starting line we give children is too far behind, maybe we have not used the right method...
In short, try to adjust and work hard towards beautiful expectations. As for the results, let us leave our destiny!
