Hello, I am Qilin's mother. A full-time twin mother who works hard to write + with a baby.
Two days ago, I took my house to my friend’s house one by one. On the way, we took our three children to ride the shaking car . During the break, a friend suddenly asked me: "Have you ever thought about how to cultivate children's view of money? Why do you tell your children that this thing is too expensive and you can't afford it?"
"Money view? Our three children are only over two years old and can't even count 100. I told them that things are expensive and they spend more money?" I was a little surprised: "Is this too profound?"
After chatting, I learned that in the square downstairs of my friend's house, there was an electric train driving around every night, and it cost 10 yuan to take it once. At the beginning, my friend would take her child to sit and play, but unexpectedly, the child gradually developed a habit. Even whenever he heard the sound of an electric train, he would take her downstairs to take the train. Although friends use methods such as diverting attention and telling children that there is a virus outside to "stop" their children from taking the train, they all have little effect.
Later, my friend had no choice but to tell the child: "It is not easy for dad to make money, you can't spend money indiscriminately!" As a result, the child got angry instead. It makes people even more depressed and distressed.
After listening to my friend's words, I think the "troubles" she encountered and is not how to establish a correct "money concept" for a child over two years old, but how to make the child agree with his or her "consumption concept".
Different cognitions, the things you accept are different
Similar things are actually in our adult and adult worlds.
Just like we spent hundreds or thousands to buy some skin care products, the mother-in-law and mother may say: Isn’t it just a face wiper, why is it so expensive to buy? Don’t you know how to save some time?
You tell her what ingredients are there in this cream and how it can moisturizing , anti-wrinkle, delay aging...it's useless at all! Maybe she will even say to you: "Then you have been wiping it for a long time, but there has been no change!" This is the difference between cognition and consumption concept. The same is true for children when applying this matter to them. In our cognition, we already know things that are more interesting and valuable than electric cars and toys, and we also know that "money needs to be used on the edge". Therefore, it seems that children have no value to increase their expenses, and in the long run, it has become a kind of "low-level happiness" in the eyes of parents, which is not worth it. But if the electric train that the child is riding has English music, the child can follow it to learn (to be precise, learn) an English song every day, and even stimulates a huge interest in ability and learning, etc. Perhaps the 10 yuan expense becomes particularly worth it again - so, it is not that spending 10 yuan a day to take the electric train is "too expensive", but this is not worth it in the eyes of us adults.
Because of this, I told my children:
It is not easy for parents to make money"
"You have to understand the hard work of parents"
"This toy is already at home, you can't ask for it anymore"
Maybe it doesn't work much - after all, "Is it a fish? How can I know the joy of fish? "But if we think about: Why are children particularly interested in this thing? How should I transfer my child's interest in this thing? How can I make my child agree with my "consumption concept"? Perhaps there will be a better answer.
let the children have more playmates of the same age and divert their attention to toys
Last month, I took Yiyi to Shanghai alone for physical examination. Qiqi and his father were at home, and the two children were obviously aware of "lostness" when they were not together - Qiqi pestered his father to play table tennis all the time, and when Yiyi was in Shanghai, in addition to running outside, he would say to me as soon as he returned to the homestay house: "Mom, I want to go home, I want to play badminton with my brother."
Perhaps, such "lost moments" will be more obvious to families with only one child. At the age of two or three, I have begun to have social needs - just like what I wrote in the book "Identify Yourself" I read some time ago, it is an instinct for a person to be collectively recognized and welcomed by others. This is a natural attribute that must be accepted by tribes in the primitive society in order to ensure survival. Therefore, when a child begins to awaken his self-awareness, on the one hand, he proves his existence through various methods, and on the other hand, he is particularly eager to get along with his peers, even if this kind of getting along is full of "disputes" and "fighting".
When the child is not satisfied in this regard, perhaps he needs another side of the supplement: for example, constantly pestering his mother and playing (buying) a certain toy (especially wanting to go out to play). goes out, or in the child's subconscious, it means the opportunity to "get new fun", and playing with electric cars has become an excellent "excusation", and over time it becomes a "habit".
So, we might as well let our children go out to play more and invite children of the same age to come to their homes regularly to let them release their energy with their peers, reduce their "lostness", and slowly let them turn their attention to things to people, which will reduce their attention to toys and other amusement facilities.
Leave the option to the child, let the child decide the time to play
So, what should I do if I encounter a child who likes to play with a toy repeatedly in the mall? Before, I was "angry" and tried hard to carry the child away from that place, but the effect was not good: the two children would keep getting angry and crying.
In this regard, " Intimate Sister " Lu Qin Teacher's suggestions - If a child wants something in particular, give him a choice: we have played this thing today, and if you still want to play, there will be no chance to play tomorrow. You choose it yourself - Leave the choice to the child.
This method is really useful. For example, my two children like to play rocking cars for a while, either I would tell them: Today's money can only be used to ride rocking cars or only buy milk, you two choose one; or let the children choose "play today" or "play tomorrow" according to Teacher Lu Qin's method, and they would choose the result you hope for.
Cultivate children a long-term meaningful interest
Of course, I think that since it is meaningless to "play with electric cars" and constantly "buy the same toys", we might as well cultivate children a long-term "meaningful" activity. Like my Qiqi, I went fishing with us once, and I became very interested in this matter. I also learned and persisted in this matter through short videos, TV shows and regular fishing on weekends.
So, when they want a repetitive toy or entertainment project, I will say, "Aren't we going to fish in two days? The money must be saved to buy fish floats and baits, otherwise if the fish is not eaten, they will definitely not be caught!" They will also "fishing is the priority in everything." #Parents’ Questions and Answers#
Let children have a correct "money concept", not to not spend money on their children, but to make children agree with their own "consumption concept". Perhaps there is no special need for us to tell our children about the good or bad economy at home. For young children, it is not necessary to strengthen the difficulty of making money for parents. However, it is necessary to let children understand the "value" of things and agree with their own "consumption concept"!
[Qilin Mother: A post-85 generation who has struggled on the road to fetal suspension for 7 years has rich experience in seeking medical treatment, teaching and writing. Now accompany the twin boys, grow up one by one, and regularly share with you emotions and two or three things in their parenting life]
