Author: Xiaoyuer Qianqian (author of Intensive Reading for Parents)
Some time ago, I saw such a video on the Internet:
A 6-year-old boy complained about his father with a cry:
"You know how to let me study every day, but you don't study by yourself in the whole family, and you are still playing with your mobile phone.
Have you ever learned it yourself? You can't even add and subtract multiplication tables , and you still let me read something so difficult..."
Some netizens commented:
"Parents are their children's first teachers! You must pay attention to your own image! Be a role model! Teach by words and deeds!"
In fact, in real life, such parents are very common:
While scolding their children for "hurry up and do their homework," Lying on the sofa watching TV and chasing dramas until midnight;
On weekends, you can skip breakfast and sleep until noon. When you are too busy, you would rather browse your mobile phone than read a book;
Whether a child can exert his talents and become a promising person in the future, the family environment plays a key role.
The way parents look at home determines the future life of their children to a certain extent.
Families,
are the first place to educate their children.
Many parents will think that if they want to help their children "win at the starting line", they need to buy a house in the most expensive school district and send their children to the best school.
After paying the tuition, it is like packing the child to the school. The rest is all the matter of the teacher and the school.
As everyone knows, the biggest role of schools is to "teach", and the family is the first place to educate children for their excellent growth, and parents are the first persons responsible for educating their children.
In the Tsinghua University global promotional video, a boy named Chen Yixian, as the protagonist, tells a story about Tsinghua University students and books in a full English explanation.
He has a handsome face and fluent English. He is affectionately called " Tsinghua Jay Chou" by netizens, a "super academic" from Hangzhou, Zhejiang.
Chen Yixian should be that child from other people’s families who “grew up to be great”.
When he was a senior in high school, he participated in the National English Speech Contest for Primary and Secondary School Students, won the first place in the national high school group, and represented China in London.
In 2017, Chen Yixian entered Tsinghua University. During this period, he studied under Academician of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and Visiting Professor of the Institute of Advanced Research Lin Chao. He published three academic papers in APJ as the first author and was praised by the professor as "the best student he has mentored in northern Qinghai in more than ten years."
During his college years, he participated in many international public speaking competitions, went to London to speak on the same stage with champions from more than 50 countries, and won the top six in the competition.
In terms of literature and art, Chen Yixian can also draw and love singing. He is a member of the chorus of Tsinghua Art Troupe and a contestant in the 28th school song competition. He has participated in more than ten school-level performances with the group.
Such an outstanding child who excels in all aspects is inseparable from the careful support of his parents.
Chen Yixian’s parents are both English teachers. The way they support him is to create a good home learning atmosphere for his children from an early age.
When he was in elementary school, his mother would read "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" to him in English before going to bed, translating as she read.
When we are at home, a family of three will often talk in English and discuss some things.
even launched a "Family American Drama Imitation Show" together to restore the character dialogues of American dramas.
Under the influence of a good English learning atmosphere at home, Chen Yixian became more and more fond of reading original English novels. On average, he could read two or three original English novels a week.
When he was in junior high school, Chen Yixian was not only able to try to translate the English storybook "Doctor Who", but also wrote 100,000 words of English science fiction novels.
Faced with these results, Chen Yixian said that he excelled in studies because his parents created a good reading and learning environment for him.
Driven by the family atmosphere, she "feels embarrassed if I don't study hard."
Educationist Mr. Ye Shengtao said: "The essence of education is to cultivate habits."
Parents are the first educators in their children's lives. The way they raise their children directly determines the height of their children's lives.
A good family learning atmosphere is a silent force in cultivating children's love for learning, and will subtly drive children to keep approaching the way their parents study hard.
When parents create a family environment for their children that loves learning and is proactive, it will be easy for the children to develop good habits of loving learning and working hard.
What the parents look like now
is what their children will look like in 20 years
Bai Yansong at once He said in the interview:
"I think it is difficult for parents who play mahjong at home every day to teach their children to read. Parents must bear at least 51%controlling responsibility in the growth of their children."
Many times, the ones who should be "educated" the most may be the parents.
At about 10 o'clock on Sunday night, my best friend sent me a WeChat complaint:
"I'm going to be mad at them! It's almost 11 o'clock now, and my Jia Lele is still doing homework there." Plus a look that looks like she wants to cry but has no tears.
did not wait for my reply, and then sent me a long text:
"Today, the company had something to do, so I went out to work overtime. Before I left, I told Lele that he would do his homework first and then play.
When I got home in the evening, I realized that my child hadn't done much homework all day. It was almost nine o'clock and he was still busy working.
It was so difficult that he was writing with his right hand and playing with the Ultraman card in his left hand! 2 I carried the child to the living room to teach him a lesson, when I saw his father lying on the sofa watching TV. saw me carrying the child out angrily, and then quickly turned off the TV. " My best friend finally asked me, "Tell me, why doesn't the child do his homework well? Isn't his father a living role model? ” Yes, if you have a arrogant parent at home, your children will only follow the same example. Parents are decadent, lazy, unmotivated, and do not study at home. It is difficult for children to fall in love with learning in a family with this kind of atmosphere. Behind every "naughty child", there is a "naughty parent". Many parents always set high standards for their children, but use low standards for themselves. A 12-year-old girl was dissatisfied with her mother's constant use of mobile phones and wrote a long letter to communicate with her. She wrote in the letter: "You should first try to play less with mobile phones yourself and set an example. Only in this way can we better supervise me! If the king himself cannot follow the rules first, how can the citizens trust him and abide by his rules? " Parents' "double standards" behavior will make children unconsciously imitate their parents, thus developing various bad habits. Writer Shen Yeyan said: "All influences are subtle. When you grow up, you will find that your growth trajectory is there, and it outlines your life." Education is a silent process, and only parents who can constantly change and improve themselves can grow with their children. Because, what parents are like now is what their children will be like in the future. There are no children who cannot be taught well There are only bad parents The best education is that parents take the lead in walking in front of their children, and the children follow behind and learn to grow. Smart parents should learn to do this: 1. Have good living and working habits Parents should follow a regular schedule at home, do not stay up late unless there are special circumstances, and get up early in the morning. Only parents are organized and planned, do not procrastinate when working, and do not indulge in entertainment. Only children can do things in an orderly manner and know how to prioritize. 2. Parents should create a positive and progressive family atmosphere If you want to raise a child who loves to learn, you must first be a learning parent. Parents can read, study and improve themselves after work. Instead of just putting it all out as soon as the weekend comes and looking like you have nothing to do. In this way, children will become active and will not be easily addicted to the Internet. 3. Don’t treat children with “double standards” Parents must know that the last thing they should do when raising children is “double standards.” When parents urge their children to "hurry up", please don't always say "wait a minute" to their children's requests. When their children are studying, parents should also pick up books and "charge" themselves instead of playing with mobile phones or watching TV next to them. What wants their children to do, parents must do it first. Only when parents set an example, children will be more likely to accept their parents' requirements for them, and they will be more strict with themselves. Education is a silent process, and we must learn to use actions to influence actions. Teaching by example is always greater than teaching by words. Every word and deed of parents affects their children bit by bit. Wise parents all know that to educate their children, they must first cultivate themselves. When parents have books in their hands, children will naturally fall in love with learning; When parents have ideals in their hearts, children will also look for their own direction in life from an early age. I hope every child can have a sparkling future. About the author: Xiaoyuer Qianqian, columnist of Fushu, article: The Theory of Evolution of Parents. The copyright of this article belongs to Fushu. It may not be reproduced without authorization. Infringement will be prosecuted. Fushu launched a new book "Good Life" in 2018
