At that time, I didn’t do much to comfort the girl. I told her that if she still felt uncomfortable, she could go to her grandma’s house to stay for a few days without seeing her. This father has become a habit of speaking, and he likes to be sarcastic and sarcastic towards his children. If their grades are not good, they are told to learn how to wash and cut their hair early. If their performance is not good, they are told to go out to work early to make money. But this is not the case. He takes his children to and from school every day. He works in business and experiences life by helping to drive and deliver goods. The money earned by his children is not enough for him to pay for gas. Behind the seemingly contradictory behavior is what many parents are doing now: I hope you are well, but I will not say it well; I love you, but I will not express it directly. It's not that I hope you can find out that I love you, but as a parent, I don't know what to do.
1. If you don’t know how to express, at least stop what you think is “a knife’s mouth, a tofu’s heart.” No matter how soft the knife is, it can always scratch people. In many cases, children don’t know that you care, but this kind of “speech hurts” In most cases, the actions of "behaving lovingly and lovingly" cannot bring about growth in children. Most of the reasons for conflicts in family relationships are that "they cannot talk properly." We are always used to saying the most hurtful words to the people closest to us when we are the angriest, because we have been together for the longest time, because we know the softness of the other person's heart, and because you can only be so unscrupulous in front of him, regardless of the consequences. This is true for children, and so is parents. A parent who can perform loving behaviors will not ask their children to repay too much, but they will also want to be understood. At a certain moment after the children go around in circles, they suddenly understand the parents' hard work and intentions. However, we forget that everything can actually be said.
2. Even if the child understands it, do you want him or her to learn it? Do you want your children to learn from you? And then use it on his children. I believe that once parents separate themselves, most of them don't want to do this, so there are intergenerational relatives. 's failure to understand your good intentions is the trigger for the breakdown of family relationships. After understanding it, it may lead to love but alienation from you. So why do we still do this? Many parents believe that only by maintaining dignity can we maintain our status. But in fact, as our children grow older and learn about society and their surroundings, our status in their children's hearts becomes lighter and lighter. This lightening is necessary for children to learn to grow up on their own. the road. In fact, looking at it from another perspective, does it have to be shown in this way to maintain the image in the children's hearts? In fact, Daozizui just doesn’t know how to express, or dare not, but when we think about it: your current expression is to teach your children how to express. For a parent who never says I love you to their children, the child will probably not be able to learn to say I love you, even after he or she gets married. Because when he educates his children, he mostly relies on the experience of his parents and his own feelings.
may be understood after going round and round, but is this belated understanding still understood? If we are willing to express ourselves, then "speaking well" must be a prerequisite for children to be willing to "listen well".
