Introduction
Correct guidance is more effective than urging and scolding! Don't get angry randomly or label your children !
The sun is scorching, and the long summer vacation is here again. When the holidays come, many parents feel helpless and worry about their children's daily life and study. I think what most parents are most concerned about is their children’s summer homework.
In July last year, a mother in Shanghai committed suicide by jumping into a river. The reason was that she had a conflict with her child during homework tutoring. She was so angry that she couldn't think about it. When she was rescued, she kept saying, "Don't save me, I'm really too tired!" The mother who jumped into the river and was rescued said "I'm so tired", which expressed the feelings of many mothers! This kind of tiredness is heart tiredness mixed with complex emotions, and more importantly, it is the expectation and anxiety of perfect parenting.
My family always tells me to watch for another 10 minutes and then do my homework. When the 10 minutes are up, my child will turn it off with a face full of reluctance, and then start to sigh, feel exhausted, and lie down on the sofa: Can’t I just rest and write again?
Isn’t watching TV and playing with iPad a form of rest?
What are the reasons why children are dilly-dallying?
Parents are often angry about their children’s procrastination and dilly-dallying when doing homework, but have they ever thought about the real reason behind their children’s dilly-dallying? A mother in the
parent group said that her child was very slow in doing homework, taking more than 3 hours each time. In order to improve the progress of her child's homework, she once sat with her and saw her child struggling to write a single word. The repeated movements of erasing a word and writing and erasing made her sitting next to her intolerable.
After scolding the child, the child cried and said aggrievedly: "I want to write very neatly, but because it is not neat, I keep writing and erasing."
She suddenly realized that she had misunderstood the child. , thinking that the child does not want to do homework and is deliberately procrastinating. In fact, it is children who pursue perfection too much. Compared with the above children who pursue perfection too much, some children are not focused enough. For example, if they fail to write a few words, the slightest sound or a piece of eraser can become a stumbling block for children on the road to learning.
Another thing is that I just don’t want to write about this kind of child. The delay in doing homework is intentional. It’s not that we can’t complete our homework quickly. But he really doesn't want to write. In this case, the more his parents urge him, the more irritated he becomes, and then he behaves even more dillydally.
After reading the above analysis, which category does your child belong to?
Correct guidance is more effective than urging and scolding! Don’t get angry at will or label your children!
×Mistake 1: "Write quickly, don't delay!"
This is probably the most common thing parents say to their children. As soon as their children start to do their homework, parents will be alert. If they find that their children are a little distracted, they will immediately urge them: "Write quickly, don't delay."
In fact, you can tell your children: "You are the one who writes homework." You have to take care of your own affairs. If you can't finish today's homework, your study plan will increase tomorrow. " Through this kind of guidance, children can also realize that they have responsibilities. consequences of behavior.
×Error 2: "Have you finished your homework?"
Saying "Have you finished your homework?" is equivalent to pouring cold water on the child. "I only care about homework all day long. Is the homework your child's or mine?!" This will form the illusion in the child's mind that "Mom loves my grades more." As a result, children who feel that they have lost the love of their parents will become rebellious, talk back, be tired of learning, etc.If you want to ask your child about the progress of their homework, you can ask another question: What did do today? Any new gains?
× Mistake 3: "Just watch TV (play with mobile phones), hurry up and do your homework."
When parents say this, children usually feel a little disgusted in their hearts, "Isn't it just watching TV for a while? "And many children think that their parents can't see them when they are doing homework, but they are criticized by their parents as soon as they take a break.
In fact, there is no need for parents to lose their temper because their children are watching TV or playing on mobile phones. They can tell their children calmly and seriously: "If you don't do your homework, you may not be able to finish it. We will finish it after playing for 10 minutes." Is the homework good? "Generally, in this case, the child feels that 10 minutes is enough. When the time comes, they will take the initiative to leave the TV and do their homework seriously.
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We have also been here since we were children. We often play all the time during holidays, and in the days before school is about to start, we work hard to catch up on homework. But I feel that young children do not deliberately do not want to do homework, but they have no sense of planning.
So on the first day of summer vacation, I took my children through their holiday homework and made it clear how much content there was.
Then we did a "calculation question". How many days are there in the summer vacation? What is the workload divided into each day?
Children must complete this minimum amount of work every day, which is not negotiable. In fact, the "mountain of homework" is implemented every day, and the amount is not large, so the children do not have a lot of rejection.
The growth of children is an extremely complicated process.
As a parent, when appropriate, change your perspective and let your children feel respected, and you may have different gains.
