You once had a very well-behaved child. You thought he was simply an angel. You bathed together, swam together, climbed mountains together, and rode shared bicycles together happily.
You are proud to have a son. You once thought that being a father was simply the happiest thing in the world.
But suddenly one day, you find that the angel has transformed into Satan, and he is simply coming to collect debt from you.
You think he is not up to par, and he dislikes you. You are always educating him, and he is always against your education.
You feel that this child is finished, useless, and hopeless; he feels that this father is extremely hypocritical, the most hypocritical and incompetent in the world, and uses all morals to trap him, just to coax him to read a few pages of books.
You have high blood pressure frequently, and how many times have you suspected that you are mentally ill; he even feels it is redundant to tell you the truth.
You two hate each other and have become enemies. What happened to
?
He has grown up and started to think. Some of his worlds have surpassed those of his father, but you are still teaching in your own way. You are always saying: How did I study at that time, how was I so brilliant at that time.
You don’t know that what he dislikes the most is preaching. You think it’s okay for others to preach, but why can’t you? Other people's teachings produce an outstanding son, why do you teach them a scapegoat?
I couldn't help but laugh: How do you know that other people's excellence comes from preaching? Have you installed cameras in other people’s homes?
The teacher taught him this at school, and his parents taught him this at home. He said: "My parents have long been lost, and there is a teacher assistant in the family."
I couldn't help but laugh. It seems that you just can't talk to him. He hides his face in front of the teacher and shows his timidity, but he is so eloquent in front of you...
Please don’t ask him what kind of person he wants to be. Ask yourself what kind of father you want to be. Then the answer you find in yourself will allow you to see him. You are each other's mirror.
I want to ask you, he came last in the final exam, do you have the courage to say to him: "It doesn't matter, being last is also courage. It's not difficult for us to chase forward, because there is no one behind us."
If you have the courage and patience, you have taken this step well and you have a correct attitude towards being a father.
What would you say to him if he got first place in the exam?
Are you relieved? You can talk to him about your ideals, what does he want to do?
If he says: I want to be Yi Yang Qianxi
or he says: I want to make a better game than "Honor of Kings" and " Minecraft "
what should you do? Are you going to deny him?
No matter what he says, please don't deny it. Please ask his original intention and his reason. If his original intention and reason are not problematic, why should you deny him?
If he has ideals, just applaud him.
Because he doesn't want to do anything. However, even if his answer is: He doesn’t want to do anything, it doesn’t matter, so what does
have?
You can answer him: You haven't thought about it yet, it doesn't matter, don't rush, let's take our time.
You can't be in a hurry. If you are in a hurry, he will fly when he can't fly...
You can discover his interest by slowing down and guiding him. Isn’t interest a prelude to the ideal?
applaud him again!
When you have all these, what else can you do? He needs someone to guide and help him in his studies. If you can, that would be great.
If, you can't. Please encourage him to communicate with teachers and classmates. What if he doesn't communicate with teachers and classmates? You can see if it's your own problem. Is it because you seldom communicate with others when you go out? Do you want to change? If you want to change, you must set an example for him. Change yourself.
He will change naturally.
If you find that you cannot change, then you should love your child. Loving him means loving you, and tolerating him means tolerating you.
you will definitely have a good start. Then, one day, you will find that he has changed for the better, because the father's love has returned.
Why did he collapse? Because you don’t allow him to have any of your own shortcomings, you only want him to learn your strengths. Because you yourself are lazy, you require him to be diligent.
If you don't like reading, you are lucky to have a child who loves reading. All the advantages that your child has that you don’t have must be your luck. Someone must have done more for him than you.
If your children have all your shortcomings, they are perfect copies. Please don’t blame your children.
Please do what you can do to let your children become the people they can be, and be as good as possible on this road.
Everyone has his own path, and every parent has his own son. Please do not envy other people's sons, but love your own sons wholeheartedly.
At this point, I have finished speaking and I am running out of words.
Then please allow me to recommend two favorite books to you. They are not reference books, but novels and letters from home. I think they are suitable for all parents.
"Emile"
This is an educational work by Rousseau . There are four classic quotations that I like the most:
We always look for adults in children, but never think that he is just a child before he becomes an adult.
Real education does not lie in oral instruction, but in practice.
You are reluctant to sacrifice anything, and as a result, you gain nothing. Because you pursue your desires wholeheartedly, as a result, you will never be able to satisfy your desires.
Our suffering is caused by the disproportion between our desires and abilities.
"Fu Lei's Family Letter"
This book is a series of family letters written by father to his son, the most simple and convincing.
You will know why the translator Fu Lei was able to cultivate such a famous piano artist as Fu Cong. Because of his love for life, because of his dedication to work, because he sacrifices himself for the cause of translation, and because he is learning all the time. Because he has artistic talent, he can communicate with his children and give them guidance.
Because he has the heart of a father who is always humble.
I randomly excerpted two paragraphs (because I really like every sentence):
Sincerity is the first key to art. If you know it, you know it; if you don't know it, you don't know it. A sincere "not understanding" makes people feel better than an insincere "understanding". The most disgusting thing is to think that you are right and make your own decisions. With sincerity, you will have an open mind. With an open mind, you will be willing to put aside yourself to understand others, and you will also be able to put aside your false self-esteem to understand yourself. Love based on understanding oneself and others is not blind love.
My child, you are improving and developing every day: in the past two years, your understanding of life and art has taken a big step forward. I love you more and more, except because you are made of our flesh and blood. In addition to loving you, I also love you because you have such radiant talents: just because I love all talents and all works of art, I also treat you as an individual talent (separate from the relationship between flesh and blood) and as a person. A precious piece of art and I love you.
wishes you a successful father.
Your friend Tian Xin
2022 Xiaoshu
Why did he collapse? Because you don’t allow him to have any of your own shortcomings, you only want him to learn your strengths. Because you yourself are lazy, you require him to be diligent.
If you don't like reading, you are lucky to have a child who loves reading. All the advantages that your child has that you don’t have must be your luck. Someone must have done more for him than you.
If your children have all your shortcomings, they are perfect copies. Please don’t blame your children.
Please do what you can do to let your children become the people they can be, and be as good as possible on this road.
Everyone has his own path, and every parent has his own son. Please do not envy other people's sons, but love your own sons wholeheartedly.
At this point, I have finished speaking and I am running out of words.
Then please allow me to recommend two favorite books to you. They are not reference books, but novels and letters from home. I think they are suitable for all parents.
"Emile"
This is an educational work by Rousseau . There are four classic quotations that I like the most:
We always look for adults in children, but never think that he is just a child before he becomes an adult.
Real education does not lie in oral instruction, but in practice.
You are reluctant to sacrifice anything, and as a result, you gain nothing. Because you pursue your desires wholeheartedly, as a result, you will never be able to satisfy your desires.
Our suffering is caused by the disproportion between our desires and abilities.
"Fu Lei's Family Letter"
This book is a series of family letters written by father to his son, the most simple and convincing.
You will know why the translator Fu Lei was able to cultivate such a famous piano artist as Fu Cong. Because of his love for life, because of his dedication to work, because he sacrifices himself for the cause of translation, and because he is learning all the time. Because he has artistic talent, he can communicate with his children and give them guidance.
Because he has the heart of a father who is always humble.
I randomly excerpted two paragraphs (because I really like every sentence):
Sincerity is the first key to art. If you know it, you know it; if you don't know it, you don't know it. A sincere "not understanding" makes people feel better than an insincere "understanding". The most disgusting thing is to think that you are right and make your own decisions. With sincerity, you will have an open mind. With an open mind, you will be willing to put aside yourself to understand others, and you will also be able to put aside your false self-esteem to understand yourself. Love based on understanding oneself and others is not blind love.
My child, you are improving and developing every day: in the past two years, your understanding of life and art has taken a big step forward. I love you more and more, except because you are made of our flesh and blood. In addition to loving you, I also love you because you have such radiant talents: just because I love all talents and all works of art, I also treat you as an individual talent (separate from the relationship between flesh and blood) and as a person. A precious piece of art and I love you.
wishes you a successful father.
Your friend Tian Xin
2022 Xiaoshu
