text/Xiaoxue’s mother
I don’t know since when, we can find that the main force of caring for children has gradually transitioned from mothers to the elderly, and it is no longer the same as before, it is mothers and grandmothers who take care of children, has become Nowadays, grandma, grandma, and mom have "three thirds of the world."
In the old days, many children's memories were of their grandparents, because at that time there were many children in the family, and the elderly could only take care of their grandchildren. But it is different now. Many families have only children. There is only one child in the whole big family. It can be said that the love of grandma and grandpa is no less than that of grandparents.
"I was brought up by my grandma, why should I be filial to my grandma?"
My cousin's child, Xiaoyu, has been growing up in my grandma's house. When my cousin was pregnant with Xiaoyu, the eldest grandson of her mother-in-law's family was born, so her mother-in-law went to her cousin to discuss it. , unable to take care of the children in confinement and the young couple.
My cousin was very angry about this. She felt that her mother-in-law was partial and treated the two families differently. simply stayed in confinement and lived in her parents' house. The child was also raised by her grandmother.
This resulted in Xiaoyu having a particularly close relationship with her grandma since she was a child. In the children’s hearts, mom ranked first, and grandma ranked second. Even dad had to step back a little, and the impression of grandma was even more vague.
When Xiaoyu was in kindergarten, he lived in his grandma's house, and his grandma and grandpa took care of him every day. It can be said that the old man took good care of his children and did not let his parents worry at all.
Later, when Xiaoyu reached the age of elementary school, the couple brought the child back to the city. However, the relationship between Xiaoyu and her grandma was not particularly close, so her cousin-in-law had a headache. He specifically told Xiaoyu: "This is your grandma. She is your very important relative. When you grow up, you must be filial to your grandma."
But Xiaoyu was very confused about this and objected to her father: "I was raised by my grandma when I grew up. "I want to be filial to my grandma, why should I be filial to my grandma?"
Faced with the child's question, the father's answer chilled the mother.
In fact, my cousin-in-law has always noticed the problem of the child not being close to her grandma, and he just took this opportunity to improve it. Regarding the relationship between the child and the grandma, after all, in the eyes of the father, the child must be closer to the grandparents. After all, his whole family has the same surname.
So dad said to Xiao Yu: "Because dad was born by grandma, we are a family. Dad must be filial to grandma, and you must be filial to grandma in the future, because you are the most important relatives of grandparents besides mom and dad."
This happened to be heard by the mother next to her. She spoke out against her husband but also felt chilled and unworthy of her own mother. Fortunately, the children were close to her and her grandma did not live up to her love. This made her cousin feel quite happy.
There is no need to force children to kiss anyone. Children have their own weight in their hearts.
First, children will kiss whoever is good to them.
In life, we often encounter that some old people will force their children to ask, do you prefer grandma or grandma? ? Every time we encounter this kind of problem, the child is innocent and the parents are helpless.
In fact, there is no need to ask who the child is kissing, because the child also has a strong balance in his heart, that is, whoever is good to the child will be closer to him. Children are the simplest creatures in the world. They do not lie, but use their hearts to feel the things around them.
Grandma spends the longest time with the child and cares about the child the most, so naturally the child will get close to grandma. In the same way, if the grandma and the child have always lived together and cared about the child, the child will be closest to the grandma.
Secondly, who the child is kissing can be seen from daily behavior.
Like the children at my cousin’s house, they usually laugh and laugh when they live with their grandma. Even though grandma usually restrains them more, there are children who eat and drink well. , the first thing that comes to mind is always grandma.
Even though grandma is kinder to her children and doesn’t restrain her children very much, the child is always thinking about grandma, not grandma, so it can be seen from the behavior of who the child is kissing.
I am Xiaoxue’s mother, a mother born in the 1990s. Follow me and share scientific parenting knowledge every day!
