text | Yuan Yunlu
Why do 30-year-old young people don’t want to go out and dare not travel far? Parents are extremely anxious, and the children can only lie down and moan.
is just because I have heavy burdens in my heart, just because I have huge conflicts in my heart.
His childhood memories, the shadows of the past, and the trauma brought to his childhood by school and family are vivid in my mind and cannot let go.
Since childhood, he is understanding and timid and afraid of things. He has always kept his bad emotions for himself, smiles for others, and swallowed his anger, so that he is now overwhelmed.
When it comes to adulthood, when you see others live well and run faster than them, you will naturally think a lot about why you become like this.
Thinking of the past and seeing the present self, I feel angry and will attribute all the disagreements to school and family.
hates the teacher insulting and attacking him; hates his parents for being unreasonable and killing his childhood nature.
The campus is so cruel and ruthless, and the family is so fierce and evil. How can the children bear their feelings? How can they bear their feelings!
"When you were a child, you should be relaxed when you grow up, but your parents still shouted at me, always hoping that I could surpass them."
"I understood you before, but you couldn't understand me in the opposite way?"
"I am so old and have grown up long ago, why can't I make a decision?"
people were injured, and their first reaction was to vent and fight back.
"But they are my teachers, my parents, and my elders. I cannot disobey. I can only swallow my anger, press my hatred in my heart, and endure the anger alive."
"I can't stand it anymore after enduring humiliation for so long!"
The more I endure, the heavier I bear.
Children's patience, like Three Gorges Dam , blocking the water of Yangtze River so high, how much pressure do you have to bear!
Kind and sensible children always don’t want to add trouble to others. They always use their bodies as the “dam” and desperately suppress their emotions, which will cause huge damage to their body and mind.
In fact, the child doesn’t want to move anymore because his body and mind are exhausted.
"I want to vent, I want to relieve my hatred, but I know that I can't do this. I always use morality to kidnap myself, and now I can't bear it anymore, and I can't bear it anymore."
has been holding it in my heart for too long, like a camel carrying heavy loads and working day and night, I've been overwhelmed and collapsed, and
can't move.
The body has collapsed and exhausted.
The child doesn’t want to study, doesn’t want to go out, and doesn’t want to travel far.
Unless you put down your burden, you will solve the contradictions and focus problems in reality.
But the child's mental internal friction is very serious. Consciousness and unconsciousness, left and right brain, ideological rationality and emotional memory are always entangled, and both sides suffer losses.
Of course, the final victory still belongs to emotions and memory. This means that the memory of hatred is becoming more and more intense, the negative emotions are becoming stronger and stronger, the rationality and body are getting closer and closer to being out of control, and I feel that I am becoming more and more powerless. What to do if
? Only by putting down your burdens and waiting to recover your vitality can you go into battle lightly, walk out of the house, go further and be more powerful. How to put
? Not simply preaching.
The usual method people use to deal with emotions is, first, do not suppress them, and second, transfer or vent in other ways.
Almost all psychologists or counselors do this. Almost everyone thinks this kind of forward thinking makes sense, so it is the most "reliable". But the results were not fundamentally effective, and the visitors could only be dragged to death one by one. Drag until both people and wealth are gone, and to the end of time. But the victim is the patient, the patient's family.
Qiushui theory uses Chinese studies and reverse thinking to resolve negative emotions: that is, to change the client's thoughts, thereby cutting off the mechanism for forming resentment, and then release negative emotions to achieve both the symptoms and the root causes.
Author Profile
Yuan Yunlu
Member of the Chinese Society of Social Psychology, cognitive psychologist;
Founder of the Qiushui theory, Obsessive-compulsive disorder , Depression , and stuttering psychologist.
After "Train Enlightenment" came out of depression in 2008, the Qiushui Theory was founded.
Since 2006, under the pseudonym of "Hate Like Qiushui", it has published thousands of social psychology research and practice articles in media such as "China Psychology and Health", China.com , Phoenix News, Zhihu , and has received help and inquiries from tens of thousands of people who stutter and various psychological troubles.
Research direction: Depression, compulsion, social fear, anxiety, stuttering, insomnia, psychological trauma for adolescents, family and marriage and other psychological problems.
Representative works: "Emotional Psychology", "Principle of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Rehabilitation", "Principle of Stuttering and Rehabilitation", "Lighting the Lamp in the Heart"
is currently being published: "Principle of Depression and Rehabilitation".
