The first grader student was blocked in the toilet by the third grader student and asked for cigarettes continued to ferment, and the video was popular on the Internet. It aroused many netizens' anger at campus bullying and their praise for parents of first-year junior high school students. Let me talk about my perception, namely, "the reason or cause of campus bullying." Welcome to discuss.
Campus bullying is much more harmful than ordinary bullying. The extreme orientation of family, society and schools for minors provides rich nourishment for the breeding of various campus bullying and bullying.
Basically, there are 4 reasons for campus bullying.
One is family reason
We often see this phenomenon in family and school life: children are disobedient, children are not easy to manage, children love to fight, children are withdrawn, and other plots that parents do not want to see. This is because the educational thinking and behaviors differ between parents and parents, because of different educational methods, there are differences in educational thinking and behavior in the process of educating children, so they fall into the "Watch Law".
What is the law of watches? simply put it: an individual cannot have two different values and codes of conduct at the same time, otherwise the individual will fall into chaos. The law of watches exists more or less in every family, and our children often become the ones with confusing and entangled thinking. The causes of psychological problems of children or students are usually manifested as one is the deviation of psychological cognition or educational model between parents, and the other is the conflict between elders' education and real education. The harm of the watch law is that it should be said that parents' education of their children is a transmission and indoctrination of ideas. This concept is an educational thinking and behavioral pattern that is produced after combining the transmission of previous generations and integrating with their own actual experiences. Parents have different ideas and experiences when educating their children, so the values and principles of doing things they convey to their children are also different. In daily life, in our education of our children and as elders in the family, everyone regards their own experiences and lessons as knowledge points and tries every means to pass them on to their children. Then, as the children grow up, their psychological state will fall into chaos and be confused, which is often manifested as not knowing who they should listen to. The children are more afraid of offending or losing the care of the other party after making a choice. Similarly, the appearance of choice may also make the child extremely mature, worldly and smooth, and be able to do everything.
No matter what kind of performance, it is that children's mind and mentality are abnormal, and their values are biased, and this impact will follow the children's life.
Although the original intention of parents is to "for the good of their children", if the opinions of the elders in the family do not agree, they domineeringly suppress the children's experiences and lessons they think are excellent or educational methods, then the children will not only increase their academic burden, but will also cause the children's psychological burden and psychological pressure.
Family Education , there are many laws of watches. In addition to the inconsistent behavior of parents and elders who regard themselves as the protagonists of education, what is more serious is that because parents cannot unify their opinions and often quarrel, then in the eyes of children, they will think that the relationship between parents is not harmonious, and they may even persistently think that they are the root cause of their quarrels. Especially when there are more babies at home, the child's psychological guilt will increase. When they are unable to solve the problem, this learned helplessness will affect the child's physical and mental health, thus making it impossible for children to show their normal or better side in real educational life. This is a family reason.
The second is social reasons
From the perspective of our psychological counseling, to a certain extent, social bad psychology has a profound impact on our growing children, especially teenagers. Especially when they are restless in adolescence, because their rebellion is not purposeful, but mostly blindly resists for the sake of resistance, and writes new words for the sake of nominal ideological independence, and is independent for the sake of imagined independence, freedom and independence. The source of imitation of their words and deeds is partly family and partly society. , especially now, is widely used in self-media, and big data runs through each of us’s work and life. The social cognition that children gain in TV, mobile phones, and computer games is not less than that of our adults to a large extent. They even have their own language codes. The hacking and stimulating psychology and the application of big data in magical dramas and games has allowed our children to occupy the foundation of their three views before their three views are fixed, laying a bad foundation for the problems that arise during their growth.
Although we have cracked down on part, promoted part, and educated part, in fact, negative cases have become one of the main sources of imitation for children after being widely reported by the media. In the face of platform traffic, the noble good deeds seem to have not given much positive promotion and publicity by various media platforms in addition to the main official media.
At the same time, some official media did not consider the long-term psychological effects, such as placing videos of "Parents ask the police to educate their naughty children" on the homepage. These are actually not beneficial to children's psychological education. Instead, police should be asked to admonish children's parents in accordance with the "Family Education Promotion Law", which is one of the means and methods to truly care for children.
Third, the reason for school
Simply put, it is: Exam-oriented education conflicts with the concepts of happy education, traditional education and Western education.
Under the policy system of tangled concepts, schools basically have no time to pay attention to the mental health of their children. Especially any job must be "started from the baby", big and small things have almost occupied the inside and out of the campus.
Especially under the current system, schools want to strengthen mental health education , but the long time-consuming psychological education will affect the short school education content and greatly waste children's learning time; especially the education authorities have listened to the opinions of parents and implemented the double reduction policy, some schools' on-duty teachers should work more than 12 hours a day, and some of the custodial students have been in school for more than 8 hours.
Some have been ruthlessly attacked by parents. Some parents and media often crack down on teachers' schools in the form of negative public opinion on the grounds of infringement to earn traffic or show their strength. Therefore, a very small number of teachers have the mentality of turning a blind eye to their children's behavior or not paying attention to any of their children's behaviors as long as there is no big deal.
off-topic: In fact, it can be seen from the recent festivals such as teaching medical care, military and police that every time a "festival" involving the fundamental national survival of the nation, some media will shout out negative public opinion and attack these professions that are fundamental to people's livelihood. Many media platforms, public accounts and self-media deliberately guide personal behavior to professional groups. I personally think that has ulterior motives and .
. Regarding " double reduction ", my personal opinion is: this policy only reduces the burden of "the parents who shout the loudest". In fact, it is of no use to our education foundation, our future, and our children.
4 is the individual reason.
includes two aspects,
On the one hand, the children who commit violence benefit from it. is physiologically stimulated the production of dopamine , and has a sense of pleasure and comfort. Psychologically, it can meet the psychological needs of being respected, recognized and worshipped.
people have self, self , and super ego .
As primary and secondary school students grow older and deepen socialization, the superego will begin to gradually guide our behavior, especially during adolescence. The superego teaches us to suppress negative parts and carry forward the positive parts on the moral level, but the id requires the self-independence. When the self-regulation role cannot be effectively exerted, the contradiction between the id and the superego will cause adolescent children to show irritability, excitement, inability to listen to words, and explode when they touch it.
Usually this type of child who commits violence has a strong sense of self-esteem, jealousy and revenge. After encountering blows or when encountering setbacks, bullying and incidents are prone to occur.
At the same time, there is a saying that I agree with, and I recommend it to all netizens:
perpetrators are often the people who are most afraid and inferior in their hearts.
Perpetrators may be affected by some reason for infants or childhood growth, including the appearance of small and medium-sized households. While they are self-identifying, they usually tend to prove their value in bullying.
This behavior is actually a way for the perpetrator to escape inner fear and inferiority. As I said just now, they benefited. Because they had long had fear and inferiority in their hearts, bullying others could bring them pleasure. However, as time passed, their inner self-condemnation would deepen their fear and inferiority. After violence, they would benefit psychologically, psychologically, and self-condemn them, and then feel uncomfortable after self-condemnation and then want to benefit. Just like repeatedly quitting that cigarette, they kept falling into a vicious cycle.
Therefore, in , in campus bullying, it is not only the victims who need psychological help, but also the perpetrators.
On the other hand, the abused child lets himself go because he has not received the protection of the school, implying that he is numb and uses numb senses to escape the stimulation of his body and mind.
We can empathize with , but we cannot replace their feelings. The students who were abused are generally timid, cowardly, and have certain interpersonal communication barriers. So they dare not speak out when they encounter bullying, and they are so used to bullying and betraying.
At the same time, most of them do not know how to communicate with classmates, do not communicate with teachers and parents, and do not handle conflicts and disputes. Parents no longer pay attention to the inner world of these children, but only pay attention to why they are not so smart and why they always like to cause trouble. Over time, these children will blink continuously, wink, nervous and stutter, be timid, withdrawn, anxious, and even after buying into adolescence, they will go to extremes and will not be understood by their parents.
Now it seems that the children bullied by campus are gradually getting rid of the thin students we imagine. Because bullies are interested in students who have the advantage of height and weight but are very cowardly. The reason is that this kind of person has a sense of accomplishment and no guilt when bullying, and it is easy to escape even if something happens.
In addition, Law of Attraction and Murphy's Law must also exist in the body, mind, words and deeds of those bullied children, and there will be certain incentives. We know that these children do not have a healthy mental state. Most of these unhealthy come from families. Of course, the cowardice shown by these children actually has a fashionable term for us adults: social phobia. One of the factors is that they receive orthodox education will have severe ideological conflicts with this social reality. For example, when the school-based students are making meals in the cafeteria, no one scolds the people who go to the countryside and enjoys VIP treatment. Children who follow order sometimes cannot buy the food they like, etc. After the three views collapse again and again, no one (including parents) can give them a reasonable explanation. In the long-term ideological conflict, some people will choose to close themselves, especially in their psychologically immature adolescents, which are prone to social fear. Whether active or passive, both parties in the bullying incident, their psychological shadow or bad emotions must have existed for a long time. According to some cases, it is not difficult to know that the psychology formed by students during adolescence and before will continue until their adulthood. There are also some victims who have turned to the opposite direction through certain factors.
The well-known Zhang QQ case, I think it is a typical case of psychological role transformation. The case ended with a tragedy of several casualties in families. Although the murderer was executed, it considers our current human nature, psychology and law.
mentioned this case, it is nothing more than giving you some tips: mental health education for teenagers and even preschool children cannot be ignored, and it is very necessary and important to do a good job in mental health education for children.
(to be continued)
