After talking about the learning method, someone mentioned that the child is not self-disciplined. Today, Sister Zhen will talk about how to use the laws of psychology to make children self-discipline (Sister Zhen is also worried about the children).
Hawthorne effect refers to When children know that they have become the object of observation or research, they will change their behavior and will show the appearance or behavior that observers and researchers expect to see.
With this, you can secretly tell your child: the Chinese teacher is observing you, and he said he feels that you have the quality of becoming a Chinese master. (You can say hello to the teacher in advance, and the teacher will generally be willing to cooperate)
Then you observe the child, and he will slowly move in that direction. (Don’t destroy his rhythm)
The Chinese teacher here can be replaced by a teacher in any subject. Children with good learning and strong ability are best for a weak subject; children with weak learning ability are the best for children with weak learning subjects. (Why? There are scientific reasons, let’s talk about it when you have time)
A group of ordinary children randomly selected in the class have made great progress in their grades and behaviors through 8 months of affirmative education. Not only is they very confident, but they are also particularly strong in their curiosity.
German psychologist Rosenthal Therefore, an educational truth is derived: When you treat your children with a positive attitude, the children will change to the state you expect. In other words, when you expect what your child will become, he will become what you expect.
The more you convey positive expectations to your children, the more your children feel: I can!
Encouragement is a positive suggestion that the more you give your child, the more motivated the child will be.
Path dependence refers to the fact that in life, once a person enters a certain path, no matter whether the path is good or bad, he may rely on this path, as if he suddenly has some inertia, and he can only go further and further on this path without looking back, which is difficult to change.
Our application of the psychological rule of "path dependence" in the process of educating children is: Develop a habit when children do not have the ability to be independent!
This process is quite difficult, but if we persist and the children develop habits, our parents will worry about it in the future.
The best age to cultivate children's habits is between 3 and 6 years old.
For our junior high school children, it will be more difficult to develop a good habit. Because at this time our children are no longer blank, they have formed some habits.
We need to take our children to destroy the original bad habits bit by bit and then form good habits!
So what is needed is parents' persistence and longer efforts.
threshold effect , also known as inch-making effect (too vivid).
Once a person accepts a trivial request from others, in order to avoid cognitive dissonance or want to give others a consistent impression, he or she may accept greater requests.
switched to our children, which means that If you want your children to develop excellent qualities in a certain aspect, you should first choose the easiest aspect to do and ask your children. When the child has done this, he will make other requirements.
When talking about path dependence earlier, it said that it is necessary to destroy the child’s original bad habits and then develop good habits. We can use the threshold effect to ask the child to make a small change first.
For example, for children who have difficulties in completing homework, they may as well ask them to record the homework every day. As long as the child completes it, they should do it. They do not care about whether the homework is or the quality of the completed homework, and persist for one month first.
Wait until the child records the homework and develops the habit, we will ask him to ensure the quality of the homework.
Primary school children can ask them to do their homework in Chinese and mathematics.
Junior high school children cannot ask them to ensure the quality of all homework at once, because there are too many subjects.
We can first ask him to ensure the quality of his homework in his advantageous disciplines.
The quality of the advantageous disciplines can be guaranteed, and the quality of the homework in other disciplines is required.
Desi effect : When a child is interested in something, use material rewards to motivate him, which can be effective in the short term, but blindly rewards will make the child lose his internal motivation.
The best reward is the spiritual reward.
A hug, a smile from the heart, a high thumb up... As long as you think, you will find a spiritual reward suitable for your children.
The best compliment is the compliment process.
Praise your child to work hard in the process, which will make the child think that success is in his own hands.
Don’t praise your child for being smart. Praise for cleverness is equivalent to telling your child that success is not due to your own reasons. The child will be at a loss when facing failure and cannot even accept his own failure.
Some parents and friends directly asked me in private message:
Why are children so disobedient? The more I talk about him, the more he is slower he is.
I said: You are nagging too much.
suddenly pokes the truth.
too many nagging, too many urging, too many accusations, too many praises, too many rewards... All "too many" points to a psychological effect "overlimit effect".
What is the limit effect?
Overlimit effect refers to a psychological phenomenon that causes excessive stimulation or excessive effect for too long, which causes extreme psychological reversal.
In daily life, if we can avoid the overlimit effect, control our mouths, and not nag our children; control our hands, and do not command our children casually, then all children can slowly learn to self-discipline and gradually discipline themselves!
Primary school children can ask them to do their homework in Chinese and mathematics.
Junior high school children cannot ask them to ensure the quality of all homework at once, because there are too many subjects.
We can first ask him to ensure the quality of his homework in his advantageous disciplines.
The quality of the advantageous disciplines can be guaranteed, and the quality of the homework in other disciplines is required.
Desi effect : When a child is interested in something, use material rewards to motivate him, which can be effective in the short term, but blindly rewards will make the child lose his internal motivation.
The best reward is the spiritual reward.
A hug, a smile from the heart, a high thumb up... As long as you think, you will find a spiritual reward suitable for your children.
The best compliment is the compliment process.
Praise your child to work hard in the process, which will make the child think that success is in his own hands.
Don’t praise your child for being smart. Praise for cleverness is equivalent to telling your child that success is not due to your own reasons. The child will be at a loss when facing failure and cannot even accept his own failure.
Some parents and friends directly asked me in private message:
Why are children so disobedient? The more I talk about him, the more he is slower he is.
I said: You are nagging too much.
suddenly pokes the truth.
too many nagging, too many urging, too many accusations, too many praises, too many rewards... All "too many" points to a psychological effect "overlimit effect".
What is the limit effect?
Overlimit effect refers to a psychological phenomenon that causes excessive stimulation or excessive effect for too long, which causes extreme psychological reversal.
In daily life, if we can avoid the overlimit effect, control our mouths, and not nag our children; control our hands, and do not command our children casually, then all children can slowly learn to self-discipline and gradually discipline themselves!
