Good evening, everyone, sugar pills~ I'm here to recommend a good book again! In life, if you are a patient with severe procrastination and are always struggling, don’t want to procrastinate but still procrastinate in the end, then I strongly recommend you the book " Procrastination Psychology " . The authors of the book, Jane Bock and Lenora Yuan, are both senior American psychological counselors. They have been committed to conquering the common human disease - procrastination disease since 1979. Here, they will describe, explain, and overcome procrastination from a psychological perspective. Next I will share 3 points worth reading.
directory
Part1
Drag phenomenon
delay circle
response consequences of delay
Part2
The root cause of delay
Fear of failure
Lack of time concept
Part3
Declare war on delay
correct mentality
Target development and implementation
1 Procrastination phenomenon
After years of dealing with procrastinators, the author found that the behavior of procrastinators has almost a standard operating mode. First of all, because of the painful lesson of the last procrastination, when you first receive a task, the procrastinator is often full of confidence and thinks that he will start preparing in advance this time. But they just stopped thinking about it and did not make any goals or plans. After a period of time, I found that the situation this time was not much different from before, and I no longer had the opportunity to prepare well in advance. I gradually became anxious and always felt that I should start doing something. But I found that the deadline was still far away and time passed, and I still did nothing.
Anxiety begins to increase. No matter what you do on weekdays, you may suddenly think of this dragging thing. When eating, you may suddenly think of it, and when you wake up, you may suddenly think of it, but you still don’t want to move. And start doing anything else I don’t want to do, start tidying up my desk, cleaning up my room, and even going to see variety shows that I wasn’t interested in at all. , but I just don’t do this thing, and I keep comforting myself in my heart, there is still time.
When the last time was completely insufficient, the whole person began to fall into despair. When I remembered that I had been dragging it out before, I kept blaming myself for not starting early and starting to deny myself, "I am just a problem." Finally, I made the choice of whether to do or not to do . Either work overtime all night and finish it in a hurry; or just give up. Finally, for that task, whether it is abandoned or completed, the procrastinator is usually relieved and exhausted. Although they have experienced hardships, it has passed after all. They no longer want to be procrastinated and resolutely made up their minds to never delay again. They must start early next time. But until the next task appears, they fall into this cycle again.
The author calls it "delaying circle" . The procrastinator is in it, day after day, circle after circle, and there is no end. I want to run out, but I am always caught back. In fact, we all know that procrastination has an obvious unfavorable external consequence of : procrastinators find it difficult to complete a task on time with high quality, so they are likely to lose some important opportunities. But in fact there is an equally serious inner consequences : When this procrastination cycle is repeated, the procrastinator has always been in an extremely negative mood, including anger, anxiety, regret and strong self-condemnation. In the long run, the whole person not only delays his work, but may also become more negative about people and the world, and the whole person becomes more and more depressed.
2 The root cause of procrastination
The author believes that If we do not understand why we procrastinate, it will be difficult for us to overcome it. authors think there are many reasons for procrastination. Here we mainly introduce to you to fear failure .Maybe we all find it a bit strange. Shouldn’t people who are afraid of failure start preparing early? How could it be delayed? The fear of failure mentioned by the author here is not simply fearing the result of failure, but fearing that his personal image will be damaged after failure of .
The author also cited his own example in the book. When he first graduated, he chose to start a blog online, but it took four years to get hundreds of attentions. At that time, he felt very distressed and felt that he should have used this time to do something more meaningful, so he was in a state of regret for a long time. But he now feels that if it weren't for four years of blogging, he would probably not be able to complete the writing of a series of these books, and there wouldn't be so much material to provide him with inspiration. So don’t rush to deny our past choices , thinking that we shouldn’t have done anything, maybe this experience in the future will be helpful to us.
There will be such an equation in the hearts of some procrastinators - "Value = Ability = Performance" . They will think in their hearts: If they start preparing early but fail in the end, it means that their abilities are not good. If they are not good at abilities, it means that they have no value. However, if they choose to procrastinate, if they fail, they can comfort themselves: "The reason why I failed is not because of my ability, but because I have too little time." Then if they succeed in fighting in the end, they will be happy for a long time, because this is the best proof of their ability.
Even if time is insufficient, they perform so well, so through , they can always leave a way out for their personal image and sense of value, and can always throw the reasons for failure to time and procrastinate. Anyway, it cannot be a problem of personal ability. Such procrastination may not only cause external and internal harms mentioned above, but also cause delays to stop. Because they shrink and never dare to show their full strength. If they cannot face their true strength, they will have no way to adjust or improve.
At the same time, we will also ignore finding solutions to the problem in this mood, and it may still be the case next time. At this time, we can use the 30 seconds of pause to recall why we picked up our phones. Maybe it's because I'm too tired and want to take a break; maybe it's because I'm going to reply to the message. The "problem" that occurs in may be to solve another problem. If we have a good rest and have finished replying to the information, this may also solve a problem. Try to forgive yourself who has not always been "should" and may be able to invest in the next problem better.
In addition to being afraid of failure, the reasons for our delay may also include lack of time concept . I always estimate my efficiency and the remaining time with too much concern and not confident enough, and always want to see the results of others' results and various other psychological reasons. You can learn more from the book.
3 Declare war on procrastination
After introducing us to the reasons for procrastination, the author also shared some practical skills to overcome procrastination. First of all, it is specifically targeted at those procrastinators who are "afraid of failure". The author believes that the key to is to correct the mentality . If we keep shrinking and don’t make the best efforts to do one thing, we can hide in the protective cover of “if there is enough time, I can definitely do it perfect” , but we can’t grow. We should try to realize that the significance of completing a task in is not simply to prove how excellent we are, but also to give us a chance to learn and improve , laying the foundation for our future success.
is secondly targeting more common procrastinators, and the methods are helpful to most of our procrastinators.To get rid of the procrastination circle, the first thing we need to do is to set goals and plans for . The goal set must be an actionable goal, not an ambiguous goal. For example, it is not "I want to stop procrastinating", but "I will pack up the table tonight." And when we face a big task, we can try to decompose its into multiple steps and small target , and then complete it one by one.
When we set the goals and it is time to implement the steps, the author shared with us some of the following tips: First, after we have made the goal plan, just start doing it, must not think of doing the complete thing at once. Try not to imagine that after you finish everything today, can go to rest and go to the holiday . Because once the idea of rest appears , the author of believes that we are likely to deceive ourselves again. now rest first, wait a while before starting . time still has time to , and then we start delaying again. We can think about it, what is the first step that I can start now in ? enters the state of learning and working from a small step. The author also recommends that we can try to do a little exercise before we really start, and starts our working state through exercise. , for example, stand up and stretch, do exercises, etc. Appropriate exercise can help our brain start faster and maintain higher concentration in the following study and work.
. When we feel that we really don’t want to do it, want to stop or even give up, the author recommends that we force ourselves to persist for 15 minutes . Most people can endure most things for 15 minutes. On the one hand, it is particularly possible that we will get better in these 15 minutes, forget the reasons and thoughts we wanted to stop before, and return to the state of studying and working. On the other hand, even after 15 minutes, we still wanted to take a break, and we did some meaningful things in these 15 minutes.
So when we want to stop working because of resistance and other mentality, we can let ourselves persist for 15 more minutes. And ask yourself: "In the next 15 minutes, which small part of this task can I complete?"
Then today's sharing ends here. Finally, you can leave a message in the comment area and write down what you want to start. Welcome to come back in the future to share your progress. I hope everyone can adjust their mindset at and refuse to delay . Do what you want and do what you want. See you next time.
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