A few days ago, one of my clients walked into the consulting room with brisk steps. He used to clearly make people feel low pressure, lack of energy, and lack of interest in anything. He changed the phrase "I am such a failure" The words are always on his lips, but now, when he e

A few days ago, one of my clients walked into the consulting room with brisk steps. He used to be very obviously low-pressure, lack of energy, and lack of interest in anything. The words are always on his lips, and now when he encounters a problem, he will stop and think, and then say: "Maybe we can find a better solution."

During the six months of treatment with him, I I have used these two methods again. Although the effectiveness of these two methods has long been proven, I will still be happy because I feel that a person has restored his love for life. Now I share these two methods with you.

1. The Charm of "Positive Psychological Suggestions"

We always feel that life is very difficult. We tell others about our current difficulties, such as lack of improvement at work, elderly parents who need care, and children who don't like to study, which seriously hurts us. Brain, at the same time, we are telling ourselves over and over in our hearts: Your current situation is very bad, and you are not capable of solving it.

These may be a seemingly perfect reason for us to work hard, but in fact, maybe we still have ways to reverse this situation.

would like to share with you an interesting psychological effect - Rosenthal effect .

The famous American psychologist Rosenthal once conducted such an experiment: He told the principal and teachers of an ordinary high school that his team was conducting an experiment - looking for a group of students with the most potential, and conduct follow-up investigations on them. Then Rosenthal and his assistant observed the behavior of students in several classes, and finally circled the names of a dozen classmates on the student list and told the teacher and principal: "These students have very high IQs. Very smart."

A few months later, Professor Rosenthal came to this middle school again and found that the students he selected had really become the best in the class.

Why does this happen? This is the contribution of "positive psychological suggestion".

When Rosenthal told the teachers the list of the most potential students, he first gave the teachers "positive psychological hints". They began to believe that these students were indeed the most potential, so the teachers would always make mistakes intentionally or unintentionally. Ask these students more questions. However, after these students felt the teacher's "positive attention", they felt that the teacher had high expectations and confidence in them, so they began to study hard, and their grades gradually improved.

From this experiment, we can see that nothing seems to have changed about the "selected" children. Their learning content, their schools and classes, and their living environment have all remained unchanged. But why did their academic performance improve and become the best after just a few months? Just because they think the teacher has confidence in them increases their confidence in themselves, and this confidence can give them great strength to face any difficulties.

Therefore, the same is true for us in life. When we feel that we seem to be stagnant for a period of time, we can give ourselves such "positive psychological hints", tell ourselves: You can change the status quo, you can have what you want. In , these "positive hints" will not bring about changes in reality, but you can actually feel a powerful force that allows you to move on. Why not give it a try?

(It is strongly recommended that friends with depression read two books, one is "Beat Depression" and the other is "Emotional Self-Help")

2. You need an "equality heart"

When we pass the "positive After "psychological hints" make ourselves full of strength, we also need an "equality heart" to balance our mentality.

Many times, we work hard for our goals, but in the end we end up with an unsatisfactory ending. We will be frustrated by why we tried our best but still failed to achieve anything.

Just like when the sun will shine, when it will rain, the clouds in the sky, and the wind in the woods, these are all beyond our control. We will not lose sleep because of continuous rain for several days, nor will we lose sleep because of sudden rain. We are upset when the wind blows, because we know that even if these things are contrary to our ideas, we are powerless to change them, so there is no need to worry about them at all.

As for things that involve our own interests, it seems that they are not so indifferent.

We have carefully reviewed a lesson and will be nervously waiting for the test results; we have devoted ourselves to a relationship, worried about gains and losses, worried about bad results, we are obsessed with a wrong decision made in the past, and we are worried about the future. All uncertainty.

Let’s think about it, can we control these things? Or is it just like the laws of nature, we just need to treat it with a "normal mind"?

Instead of always obsessing over uncontrollable factors, we should choose to enjoy the satisfaction and sense of achievement in the process. When we work hard, we can face the ending calmly, let alone have any regrets.

thought of this passage in the book "Emotional Self-Help": Difficulties in life may always exist. What we have to do is to adjust our mentality to face them. When we have a "normal mind", we can look back. Looking at these problems, it seems that they are not difficult to solve.