Over-limit effect refers to the psychological phenomenon of excessive stimulation, too strong or too long acting time, which causes extreme impatient or rebellious mentality.
It is said that when Mark Twain listened to the pastor’s speech, he initially felt that the pastor had spoken well and planned to donate; after 10 minutes, the pastor hadn’t finished speaking, so he became impatient and decided to donate only some change; another 10 minutes later, The pastor hadn't finished speaking yet, so he decided not to donate. When the pastor finally finished his speech and started collecting donations, Mark Twain , who was too angry, not only failed to donate a cent, but also stole 2 yuan from the plate.
Excessive stimulus, too strong or too long acting time will often cause the other party to be extremely impatient or rebellious. This will be counterproductive, just like Mark Twain not only does not donate money, but also steals from the plate 2 yuan was gone.
The over-limit effect often occurs in family education. For example, when a child makes a mistake, parents generally criticize the child, hoping that they will recognize their mistakes and correct them. Generally, children are still willing to accept occasional criticism from their parents. However, if parents repeatedly make the same criticism of one thing, the child's heart will also undergo subtle changes. They may go through the process from guilt and restlessness to impatience and finally disgust.
Some children are "forced", and there will be "I want to be like this" rebellious psychology and behavior. Because no one likes to be accused, once children are criticized, they will have emotions. Especially children, they are simple-minded and feel bad when they are criticized. They are afraid that their parents will no longer like them. They will have a series of very complicated emotions. It will take a while to restore their psychological balance. If he is repeatedly criticized, he will mutter in his heart: "Why do you always treat me this way? Mom and Dad don't like me anymore. Am I bad?" Children's hearts are very difficult to accept, so their feelings of being criticized cannot return. Calm, for a long time, the mentality of resistance will be stimulated.
They may feel that they can't always do the same thing,No matter how hard you try, it's no use. Parents have no longer liked and distrusted themselves because of this incident, and they have lost the motivation to correct their mistakes. This is why some children show numb and indifferent attitude towards their parents' criticism.
It can be seen that parents' criticism of their children cannot exceed the limit, and the children should "make a mistake once and criticize only once". If you have to criticize again, you shouldn't simply repeat it, you have to change the angle, another way of saying it. In this way, children will not feel that the same mistakes are "caught on", and their boredom and rebelliousness will be reduced accordingly. More importantly, parents must have a clear understanding of the reasons for their children's mistakes, and they can really help the children when they criticize them.
Some children make mistakes because of insufficient ability. For example, a child who has just entered elementary school may encounter some difficulties when writing homework. For example, he cannot distinguish between 73 and 37. He knows that 2 plus 5 equals 7, but he does not know how much 7 minus 5 equals. This is mainly It is because the child's spatial perception and thinking level have not yet developed to this level. What parents should do at this time is not to criticize the child, but to respect the child's developmental characteristics and find ways to improve the child's abilities.
Some children make mistakes because of attitude problems. In many cases, it is because they do not realize that their behavior has brought a bad influence on others and do not think that they are wrong. For example, some children will run around in the restaurant, yelling, they just feel excited and playful, and they don’t realize that their behavior is causing interference to others and potential safety hazards. In this situation, parents should stop their children's behavior in time and explain the reasons clearly to the children. For older children, parents should guide them to think about the possible consequences of their actions, and let the children realize their mistakes in their minds. Only in this way can they truly remember and avoid the wrong behavior from happening again.
This article was originally created by "Guo Lifang Psychological Studio", welcome to follow, like, and comment. The article declines to be reprinted.
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