1. Disease comes from the mouth, and disaster comes from the mouth, so it is safest to shut up! 2. Life is like making a phone call, either you hang up first or I hang up first. 3. No matter how good yesterday is, I can’t go back; no matter how difficult tomorrow is, I have to co

1. The disease enters from the mouth, and the disaster comes from the mouth, so it is safest to shut up!

2. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first or I hang up first.

3. No matter how good yesterday was, I couldn’t go back; no matter how difficult tomorrow was, I had to continue.

4. It is better to take a look at you suddenly, but it is better to take a look at you carefully.

5. I have a friend who went to eat roasted wings last night. He held a bottle of beer and said to the waiter, "Do you believe it, I can get the bottle cap with my bare hands?" The waiter shook his head and said he didn't believe it. A friend slapped the table and said, "Then you won't pick up the phone yet!"

6. Yisaidan drove off the highway. The traffic police came over and saluted: Master, you are the 10,000 drivers passing through this newly built highway. According to regulations, a reward of 5,000 yuan was given.

reporter came to interview: Hello, master, I must be happy to get this money. So what are you planning to use this money when you go back?

Erbiao said: I want to get a driver's license first when I go back. The traffic police heard next to him: Driving without a license! Then came over. His wife said in the passenger seat: Comrade Police, don’t listen to his nonsense, you’ll drink too much.

When the traffic police heard this, they drove drunk! He took out all the handcuffs and brought them to the second man. At this time, his mother-in-law stuck her head out of the window from behind and cried: I just said, don't drive the stolen car, don't drive, don't drive, you have to drive out for a trip.

7. At a wedding, I said to my buddy:

"The bride is so ugly."

"What did you say? That's my daughter!"

"Oh, sorry, I don't know you are her father..."

"I'm not...I'm her mother!"

8. When I got home, my son and wife didn't sleep.

Son: "Dad is here!"

I was about to go over, and my wife said, "Come here!"

I said to my son, "Your mother is also calling me, she is my wife, you are my son, who should I go there?"

0 The son pondered for a moment, with a serious look on his face, and said, "You should know what your surname is!"

9. My grandmother named the three puppies in the family "Xixi", "Haha", "Heihei". I usually walk the dog.

This day, in the park, three puppies ran around, so I hurriedly greeted, "Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshesheshes

10. At the blind date meeting, she talked freely about how her former boyfriend drove a luxury car and lived in a luxury house. She often praised her for being beautiful and became nervous when she saw her. He looked at her: "I, I usually look at it. When I see a beautiful woman, I will also say nervously and can't speak." She laughed: "Your way of chatting is so old-fashioned." "But, but if you see it, it's not good-looking, you will stutter." The woman's face immediately turned into pig liver

11. When she went to a restaurant for dinner, the child at the next table was very naughty and always loved to run away when she was eating. Her mother chased her behind, and she shouted, "Will you eat it or not! If you don't eat it, I'll feed the dog!" The child just ran away, but didn't eat it. After a while, his mother got angry and slapped the child twice, brought the rice back to the table, and put it in front of her husband, "He doesn't eat, you eat."

12. A beautiful mm got on the bus, took out a card to swipe the card, and heard a drip. . . . Senior Citizen! Everyone in the car was shocked and looked at her. The girl said dissatisfiedly, "What are you looking at? Have you never seen the Tianshan Tonglao?"

13. One day, the teacher asked to make sentences using the three words "天, 天, and 天". As a result, a classmate in the class volunteered to stand up and said, "Mom said my house has to be dragged!"

14. Don't be too treacherous in being a person, there is a blue sky on your head, don't be too slippery in being a person, and your lips touch your teeth; don't be too pretentious, tell the truth in everything, and a master is by your side, and you will expose you.

15. Question: Are you the same girl, why is it easy to coax your girlfriend but hard to coax your mother-in-law?

Answer: Because the mother-in-law has been fooled once.