01 Just after going to the bathroom, I met the goddess at the door and looked at me. I took the initiative to say hello to avoid embarrassment. Me: You are here to shit! The goddess called me crazy, it seems that the life of a bachelor has to be delayed a little. 02 brothers comp

01

Just after going to the bathroom, I met the goddess at the door and looked at me. In order to avoid embarrassment, I took the initiative to say hello. Me: You are here to shit! The goddess called me crazy, it seems that the life of a bachelor has to be delayed a little.

02

Brothers complained about working too much overtime in the group, and they were more unscrupulous than whose boss. A said: I bought a full set of home theaters, but I was so busy that I didn’t watch a disc. B said: I bought a new multi-function rice cooker, but I haven't eaten at home. ” Another buddy said: I rented a new house near the company but didn't go home for half a month. The landlord called the police and thought I was dead.

03

Several relatives from my hometown came. My daughter used to jumping around on the sofa. My mother-in-law felt embarrassed, so she stopped her daughter and said that she liked it. I thought silently next to me: You usually support her and said that she would exercise more. Do you see her listening today?

Then my daughter pouted and said: I liked it and said I would like it. Mom picks her feet every night, but she doesn't wash her hands after picking them, and her father still likes her!

Relatives took me with just washed fruits, and her face was full of entanglement...

04

When shopping, I met a male god I had a crush on n years ago. He asked me with concern, are you still single? I nodded shyly! The male god continued: Fate... The male god Balabala said a lot, and my excited heart almost jumped out. Finally, the male god suddenly turned around: My son has been sick recently, so he found a master to see, and insisted on finding a single woman. I am worried about not being able to find an older single woman, but I didn’t expect to meet you! !

05

unfamiliar number call (the number segment of Telecom ), after connecting, I heard an old woman who was not very standard in Mandarin said: Hello, I am China Mobile Customer Service, and now there is an event discount to push for high-quality mobile old customers. Me: Sister, China Mobile Customer Service uses China Telecom Do you operators support each other's mobile phone number? The other party said calmly: If you don't believe it, there is no need to waste each other's time answering the phone. In addition, don't call me elder sister, I must be younger than you.

06

and my husband were in a cold war. At night, my husband gave me a small box. I opened it and saw a beautiful golden fox pendant! I was very happy, deliberately sternly, pretending to blame him: "What do you mean? You said I am a vixen?" My husband explained anxiously: "It doesn't mean that, how can there be a vixen as ugly as you. "

07

" talked to my buddy about the fourth level, but he said he didn't listen to his listening skills. I said, "How did you do the question?" All blind? !

His answer: He said, "The one who works in the back is loud and I listened to his voice!"

"Then do you know which ABCD chooses?"

He smiled and said, "A is three strokes, C is one stroke, B and D are two strokes, but D is fast!" "

08

took his wife Caicai to eat hot pot. He was having a good time. This guy looked at the rolling hot pot and suddenly said, "Honey, if your mother and I fell into the hot pot at the same time, who would you catch first? "

" Of course I will catch you first! "

" Husband, you are so good! I love you so much! Then tell me why you should catch me first? "

"You are young, tender, fast cooked, and good taste..."

09

When my daughter was in elementary school, although her home was very close to the school, I insisted on picking up and dropping off every day.

And I also changed my usual clothes!

Flowery shorts, big sunglasses, and cigarette slanted , a big gold chain with a thickness of a big toe, stood at the school gate, and no student dared to provoke my daughter throughout the semester.

Later, my wife passed by the school after get off work and saw me holding my daughter's hand home intimately, and took out a big potato from the car basket and threw it at me. .

10

My wife held my cell phone and said sternly: "Tell me!" What's going on? "My mind turned around, and I thought about her best friend all the time, and then the female netizen. Finally, I confirmed that there was no ambiguous chat record and said, "I didn't hook up with a girl! "She said disdainfully: "It's not the case!" Say, where does your mobile phone film get the money? ”