I got off work at noon. Seeing that I hadn't eaten the steamed buns I brought in the morning, I bought a bottle of soybean paste and prepared to eat them in a sandwich. But the soybean paste was too tight to twist, so I took the effort to twist it, and the lid suddenly opened, an

01

It was time for get off work at noon. Seeing that the steamed buns I brought in the morning had not eaten yet, I bought a bottle of soybean paste and prepared to eat them in a sandwich.

But the soybean paste was too tight to twist, so I took the effort to twist it, and the lid suddenly unscrewed, and the soybean paste was shook on my hand.

had to run to the bathroom. Before washing my hands, looking at the soybean paste on my arms and the aroma of sauce. I raised my hand and smelled it with my nose. It was so fragrant that I couldn't help but taste it with my tongue.

didn't notice that several colleagues in the office came to the bathroom. When I saw me licking my hands, I walked away disgustedly.

The whole company is now full of rumors, saying that I was eating s.h.i in the toilet...

02

Last night, my mother gave me the big new quilt she got when she got married. It was really warm. I was afraid that my mother would be cold, so I went to see her. As soon as I arrived at the door, my dad said, "This silk quilt is good, light and warm!" My mom said, "Of course, the price is good, if your girl asks, you will say it was delivered by the gas station, do you know?"

My dad said, "You say..."

03

Not long after I got my driver's license, when I was reversing today, my mom's rear wheel got stuck in the ditch, and there was no one nearby. Suddenly, I suddenly realized that someone had encountered the same thing in the video I had watched, so I ordered ten takeaways and thought that I could come to help me move the car out, and then the takeaway meal was given to the delivery staff. As a result, now, the deliveryman and I were gathering around ten takeouts, discussing while eating which part was wrong.

04

I cooked two big bones and gnawed them there with my buddy. I was gnawing hard. My buddy sighed earnestly: I have lived for more than 20 years, and finally I know why dogs have to tilt their heads when gnawing bones and can use their strength!

05

Don’t ask me why I sing out of tune. In fact, I used to be a veritable country singer and had a very high popularity. Now I can’t sing well, which is entirely because I have three times a week. My throat is getting inflamed. What are you singing?

06

My boyfriend is a top student, and I don’t understand some questions, so he patiently explained them to me. Because I was too close, my mind was a little confused. He said it twice but I didn't understand it. He sighed softly. I asked in panic: Do you think I'm too stupid!

He smiled, "I didn't even bother you, you actually yelled at me!"

07

Director's birthday. After eating the cake, it was still early, and someone suggested playing a game of making moves and guessing the song name to see how tacit understanding the couple is.

The lady pointed to her waist, and the director: I was hit by youth? The lady shook her head, and the director held it in for a long time: Halfway up the mountain?

Seeing that the director couldn't guess, the wife was about to give up. As soon as she breathed a sigh of relief, the fat on her belly "spilled" down, layer by layer.

saw the director slapped his thigh and shouted: I understand~ Song of the Five Rings! Haha...

Now, the director is still kneeling on the washboard and sang the song of the Fifth Ring for two hours...

08

When I got home from get off work this afternoon, the community was out of power. I met a delivery guy climbing the stairs and saying I would send it to the fifteenth floor. Seeing him working so hard, I decided to accompany him to encourage him. When we climbed to the 14th floor, we were very tired. Thinking that the guy had other couriers to deliver, I decided to help him! So I said you don't have to go, just give me my takeaway here [cover your face][cover your face][cover your face][cover your face]

09

I remember when I was a child, I wrote the leave note and put it in my pocket. I went to find the teacher to take out the leave note and give it to the teacher, but I took out 50 yuan. The funny thing is that I didn't find it at that time, "Teacher, I want to ask for leave." The teacher said, "How many days do you want?" Me: "Three days" the teacher stretched out his hand I took the money and put it in my pocket, took out 20 and said, "Come on, I'll just collect 30 for you in three days..."

10

My wife was on a business trip. She just arrived home after get off work in the afternoon. She called, "Where are you?" I replied, "Home." She said, "Is that right? Then tell me how many potatoes are in the refrigerator?" Fortunately, I didn't go out tonight, so I opened the refrigerator and said, "Two." "Where are eggplants?" "Two too!" "Where are green peppers?" "I count, four."Okay, you can cook dianxian , and I'll get home right away! ”