1. I am obviously a rich second generation, but I go to work to earn money. I can drive a luxury car, but I squeeze into the bus every day. I can rely on my reputation to make a living, but I work hard. This is the difference between me and Mingming.
2. There are many ways to end a friendship, the most radical one is to borrow money and not repay it.
3. Stop complaining that you can’t find the right person among 1.4 billion people. During the exam, you can’t find the right person among the four multiple-choice questions.
4. I have five hundred yuan. Does anyone want to borrow it? No IOUs or anything like that are required, just pay a deposit of 1,000 yuan.
5. The daily state of a foodie: I enjoy it in my mouth, but I want to lose weight in my heart.
6. A Lamborghini just drove past me and splashed water all over me. At that time, I swore that when I got rich, I would definitely buy a raincoat of my own.
7. "Why reject me!" "Because I'm too ugly, I'm afraid I'm not good enough for you" "I love you no matter how ugly you are" "The problem is that you are uglier than me!"
8. I don't know what you all know What kind of circles do you belong to? I belong to a group with dark circles under my eyes.
9. I have an interview tomorrow, and my wife thoughtfully said to me before I went out, "Honey, remember to work hard today." I felt warm in my heart and vowed to work hard. Then halfway through, I discovered that the car was out of gas.
10. "How to describe a person who is ugly, but not too direct?" God replied: "This is an era of looking at faces, and you do not belong to this era."
11. Love is a lifelong dedication, my personality Not rusty, can't make do with it.
12. In order to prevent my wife from suspecting that I was having an affair, I changed the names of all the female contacts on my phone to men’s names. She went through my text messages and now not only did she know I was having an affair, she was convinced I was gay.
13. The most failed person in life is Tang Seng. No matter whether he is an enemy or a friend, everyone wants to send him to the West, but he himself even dreams of going to the West.
14. I just woke up today. It turns out that the fastest way to refuse street sales is not "Thank you, I don't need it", but "I am your colleague."
15. I said that I like a very good boy, but I feel that there is no chance. My mother said, what are you afraid of? Although you are terrible, but you have the opportunity to come into contact with such a good person, it means that he is destined to have this disaster.
16. Last month, my income was okay. I ate what the dog ate. Last month, my income was relatively poor. I ate what the dog ate. This month, I am a cow and I am ready to eat a dog.
17. I went to eat pizza with a friend. The waiter asked: "Cut it into 8 pieces or 16 pieces?" The friend said: "Cut it into 8 pieces. Cut it into 16 pieces and we can't finish it."
18. In the evening, my roommate went After I came back with my boyfriend Niwai, he opened my quilt and got in! He also said in his mouth: Come, while the smell is still there, let you, who has been single for many years, experience the taste of love.
19. Being able to cook, do housework, and repair electrical appliances. If these skills want to shine in a man, they must be in the context of being particularly profitable.
20. I have been wandering alone for many years. Today, I suddenly thought of my mother at home, and tears immediately fell down: If she hadn't kicked me out of the house, I wouldn't be so miserable!
21. Today my daughter-in-law said to me seriously: "You must quit smoking for me!" I said more seriously: "Smoking is just like I like you. I will never quit smoking in this life!" My daughter-in-law listened. I was so happy that I even gave me five yuan to buy cigarettes. I was so smart, and I got another huge sum of money!
