1. I want to ask, if my face is full of flesh, can it still be called a bare face? 2. Usually when you are chatting, you ask a girl to send a photo. If the girl says it is too ugly and refuses to send it, it proves that the girl is okay and is just being modest. But if a boy says

1. I want to ask, if my face is full of flesh, can it still be called bare face?

2. Usually when you are chatting, you ask a girl to send her a photo. If the girl refuses to send it because she says it is too ugly, it proves that the girl is okay and is just being modest.

But if a boy says it’s too ugly, I advise you not to be too strong. Don’t ask me how I know, it just scared me to death!

3. Time seems to stand still every time I study. I thought I had studied for two hours, but when I looked at the time, only five minutes had passed. I was thinking that if I kept studying hard, I might become immortal.

4. I took my younger brother to buy clothes and found that this child also knew how to shop around - he silently visited all the stores and picked the most expensive one.

5. It is indeed wrong of you to keep delaying the progress of your work, but there are only 28 days in February this year and you have a lot of responsibility.

6. I went out for a walk with my dog ​​today, and a beautiful woman ran over to me with shining eyes and said, "Oh, she's so cute!"

I smiled and said, "If you like pets so much, I'll give them to you!"

The beauty was surprised and happy. I nodded, so I let go of the dog leash and said to the dog: "Goodbye, master!"

7. "Believe it or not, I will beat you to death?"

"I won't believe it even if I beat you to death."

8. Don't you feel unbearably lonely? ? Don’t you find it difficult to sleep alone? Find more horror movies and watch them. After watching them, you will feel that there are people everywhere under the bed, in the mirror, and in the bathroom, and the world is full of love!

9. On a blind date, the woman asked me if I had ever been in love before? Let me tell you, I must have talked about it, narcissism is the main thing and secret love is the supplement.

10. Male: "Do you like me?"

Female: "No."

Male: "Great, I like you, so we can complement each other together."

11. Bought a new mobile phone, and the boss said it would be a gift Tempered film. So I had all kinds of fun and fell. Finally, one day, the screen was so broken that I thought about peeling off the tempered film.

Then I poked it with a toothpick for half an hour. Where is the film? Where's the membrane!

12. I fell in love with cooking. I like the feeling of carefully preparing ingredients, carefully mixing, frying and simmering to make a pile of kitchen waste , just like my life.

13. Me: What are you doing now?

friends: do your own business.

Me: Which one should I do?

friends: It covers a wide range of materials, including wood, steel, paper, plastics, electrical appliances, etc.

Me: You’re awesome. I couldn’t tell it before, but now I’m very capable!

friend: No thanks, no thanks, actually I am a waste collector!

14. She doesn’t like me, but she looks like I like it. It really pisses me off.

15. As long as you are my friend and have no money, just tell me and let me know that I am not the only one who is poor!

16. In the past, when a man said to a woman, “I want to eat your cooking,” it meant that the man fell in love with the woman. But now when a man says to a woman, "I want to eat the food you cooked," it means that he is going crazy with hunger.

17. "How to describe a woman with many bags?"

"You are already surrounded!

18. I am so poor in this life, maybe it is because I fell into the "poverty again" in my previous life.

19. Two days ago, I had a gathering. , I told them: "Every time my wife asks me to buy groceries, I falsely quote the price, and then buy myself two boxes of good cigarettes. Do you have such brains?" This is called wisdom, what about you? ”

They said they have money, so they all buy it themselves!

20. Mature people don’t show affection. Like me, I usually take off my wedding ring in KTV and bars.