In society, we will meet all kinds of people, but more contact does not mean that we can understand each other. As the saying goes, "the heart is separated from the belly", we seem to never be able to really see through a person. Whatever I think about, I will always be anxious. I treat him sincerely. Does he treat me sincerely?
Similarly, others will have the same questions as you.
Everyone wants to see the character of the person with whom they interact, is it worthwhile to spend time in deep friendship, or should keep a certain distance with him.
So, how do you judge the character of the other party from what the other party says? Is it worthy of deep friendship?
Generally speaking, if the other party frequently says these kinds of words, or if these kinds of words are the other party's mantra, then you need to think deeply about whether you want to continue interacting with the other party. If
conducts moral kidnapping,
"I treat you so well——"
"I have paid so much for you——"
I believe that everyone is familiar with these mantras. Don't talk about the people you associate with, even yourself. 'S parents often say. If the confidence of the parents to say this is blood and nurturing, then there is really no need to find a second "dad" or "mother" for themselves among diplomatic friends. The subtext of
is "I am good to you, don't you return me quickly?" Or it is to accuse you of "I don't know what is good or bad" and "Don't know how to be grateful."
But in fact, behind this kind of remarks are often exaggerated facts. It is often that the other party has not paid anything, but wants us to "repay" it twice.
And the reason why the other party would say this is to strengthen the degree of his "favor" to you in your mind, so that you don't forget his "good", you must be grateful, and secondly, such words often include " "Warning" means.
If any of your ideas do not agree with him, or if you do not meet his requirements, or do not follow his intentions, then you will become the existence of "injustice" in his mouth.
can say this kind of thing, it shows that in his mind your status is simply unequal. Why parents often say this kind of thing is because in their hearts, you are a junior and they are an elder. From their point of view, it is only natural for them to repay them.
But in interpersonal communication, both parties should be in an equal position, and no one owes others. Those who say this kind of thing feel that they have paid too much and are eager to see higher returns from others. In his eyes, he is the active giver and you are the passive receiver. All you have to do is to passively accept its "favors" and be grateful for this "giving".
When encountering such a person, remember not to fall into his language trap and always remind yourself not to be "ethically kidnapped" by his words.
telling someone’s secrets
"I told you something, don't tell anyone--"
"I just learned a big secret, I told you--"
When the relationship enters a stage , People will become more intimate, then the communication between the two parties will become more frequent and deeper, and there will be some private conversations, which is normal.
But normally, if a secret communication starts from the above (or similar), then the secret is generally related to others.
A person who can tell you secrets of others, how can you believe that he will not "communication" your secrets with others?
When he tells you this secret, there is a high probability that he will also tell other people the secret. You will not be the only one who knows this, but what's more, in the end this secret simply becomes one. "publicSecret".
We cannot be sure that our secrets will not be leaked out by such "friends", and we must always bear such risks when we have deep friendship with such people.
When dealing with such people, we must be careful not to make promises lightly. Also be careful not to reveal your secrets, let alone feel any pressure because you know a secret.
honey-belly sword, sugar-coated cannonball
"It's so pleasant to associate with you." "Z4z
" I am very happy to be friends with you. "Z4z
's praise must be a "good" sentence? In fact, under this kind of praise, the emotion he actually wants to express is not necessarily positive.
people who often put these words on their lips are very smart and good at Fiddle with all kinds of interpersonal relationships and indirectly achieve their goals in this way.
From another point of view, true friends tend to have implicit feelings for each other, because they believe that "seeing people's hearts over time" is not so good The exaggeration is put on your lips. The person who says this to you
, what you need to consider is what is the purpose of the sentence and what is behind it.
praises you and promotes you After that, it is likely that the next step is to ask you to "help", and this must be something that will make you feel embarrassed. But after they say this, if you appear hesitant or refuse to help, you are outsider The image in my eyes is in a disadvantaged state. People who always say this way
will also give people a very unreliable feeling.
gloating
"I told you a long time ago-"
" Will this happen if you listen to me? "Z4z
" These "after-the-after" words usually do not mean that the other party expresses helplessness and regret for our performance. It is more of a kind of ridicule and contempt of gloating. The deep logic behind
is to tell you to listen to him in the future. If you don’t listen to him, you will fail. On the other hand, when you say this, his main purpose is not to help you analyze the cause of the mistake (or failure), but to taunt you. These words are often followed by a long commentary "You shouldn't listen to me" and end with a warning.
But the purpose of this warning is not to prevent you from making the same mistake again, but to warn you to listen later. His.
at the end
. In summary, what a person often says, or his mantra, will reveal the essence of a person to a certain extent. I hope everyone can pay attention to it and be alert to the moral and logical traps hidden in these words. Will never be disappointed.
