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After a person gets married, he should understand his new identity and assume the responsibilities of marriage. Marriage was originally two young people, separated from their original families, and then established a new small family. After the establishment of the
small family, the couple will have to focus on this small family so that the small family can grow up gradually. New lives must be bred in this small family. Small lives can only grow up healthily under the care of their parents.
But there are always some people who are obviously married and have a family, but they still stay in the original family. They foolishly believe that the person in the original family is their own, and the person who wants to spend their life with them is an outsider, so they often stand in the wrong line.
People who hold this kind of thinking are generally those who do not manage their own small family well, and their spouses and children will not be happy. Only when a person focuses on his own small family can things develop smoothly. The couple raise their children together, provide for their children to study, and help them get married and start a career in the future. Everything goes smoothly. People who are children of
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have to take care of their parents, as well as their brothers and sisters, but they must be careful in everything. One person has to play many roles, so we have to balance each role and not lose sight of one another.
If brothers and sisters are in difficulties, they must help. This is blood relationship. But if you put your brothers and sisters in everything and throw your wives and children together, then your own small family can't manage it.
Aunt Liu in the building opposite to my house is 61 years old this year, and her wife is the same age as her. I often meet them in the community. Their old couple feel very affectionate to me. The uncle always does everything possible to please Aunt Liu.
One day, I asked Aunt Liu to teach the secret of a happy marriage, but she sighed unexpectedly. Then she told me about her and her wife. After listening to it, I was really surprised that the uncle, who seemed to me very fond of his wife, once missed the team. Let's listen to Aunt Liu's narration.
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The old man and I got married after being introduced by a matchmaker. He is not a bad person, but his ears are soft, and everything depends on his mother and his sister. His sister is the kind of person who likes to be the commander-in-chief in her natal family.
Her sister felt that after I entered the door, she took her brother away, so she pushed me out everywhere. The parents-in-law guarded her daughter, and naturally stood by her side. They were afraid that my husband would listen to me everything, so they used their affection to firmly control my husband. So when I was young, I was not happy at all, I lived with my son.
Very often, it is clear that my husband and I have discussed good things, and my husband will change as soon as he turns around, because he listened to his mother and his sister. Marriage can be managed well if the husband and wife are one mind, but my husband and I can't be one mind at all. If it were not for my son, I must have divorced him. He only has people from the original family in his heart.
My parents-in-law’s house, according to our old rules, should be passed on to my son, but they just passed it on to my daughter. My husband took care of his elder sister because of my daughter’s ability to pat the horse. My husband gave his parents’ house to his elder sister because the conditions of his sister’s in-law’s family were not good, and our family of three rented a house.
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Later, the in-laws passed away one after another, and we also bought a two-bedroom house. When there was something in our small family, my husband still didn't discuss with me, but went to discuss with his sister, who was involved in our marriage like a third party.
Before my son got married, the wife offered to buy a separate wedding house, but the request was not high, just two bedrooms and one living room. If we are not rich, we can only borrow to buy a house. At this time, the house of in-laws happened to be demolished, and it could be divided into three houses at once, or two houses plus a decoration fee.
My husband thinks that his elder sister will take care of him too, and he will certainly share his house. But his sister said that the old house belonged to her and had nothing to do with us. Why did we divide our house? My husband was dumbfounded, so I said to him, you take care of your sister, why doesn't your sister take care of you? He couldn't say a word.
Since then, my husband seldom goes to his sister's house, but started to cheat me and my son everywhere. My husband himself said that he stood on the wrong team when he was young. Now you see that we are very affectionate,Actually it is not like that, he is making atonement.
I think some men mature late. When they are old, they know that they have been on the wrong team, but it is too late.
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Many marriages are just like this. After a lot of ups and downs, happiness comes only when they are old. When Aunt Liu's wife was old, he finally understood who the most important person in his life was, so he tried to make up for it.
There are some people in life who will not understand until they are old. Such people have gone to the dark one by one. The relationship between brothers and sisters is like a parallel line. If you have difficulties, you need to help properly, but it's just help. You can't focus on brothers and sisters.
Like Aunt Liu's wife, who stood in the wrong line when he was young, there are many in life. In fact, they are a kind of immature performance. They have started a family, but their hearts are still in the original family, and they have not been "weaned."
If you want to get married alone, you must first adjust your mentality. If you can't afford the responsibilities of marriage and family, then don't get married easily, so as not to harm others. Since you are married, you must have your own opinions. When you encounter problems in your marriage, you must discuss with your spouse. The opinions of your spouse are the most important.
[Picture from the Internet]
