era has stabilized, but people's enthusiasm for marriage has not been so strong. Some young people have even begun to fear marriage, shouting "no longer believe in love". This kind of fear is not the fear of not being able to marry yourself, as in the old days, but the fear that marriage cannot bring us happiness, but makes us lose our freedom. The married friends around
spent the moments of laughter and happiness, and the marriage has entered a period of boredom. A man wants a "parking lot moment". Before going home, he stays alone in the parking lot for a while. It is himself when he pulls in the car, and when he opens the door it is trouble. In a similar way, a woman also wants a "bathroom highlight moment", without the magic sound of "mother and mother", without the tit-for-tat confrontation with her husband, closing the door and making her own world, shopping and watching dramas to enjoy the life of a person.
When the trivialities of life shatter people's fantasy marriages, and real marriages gradually emerge, some people refuse to accept it, or endure it, or run away.
If you are unmarried, you are afraid of losing yourself in your relationship; if you are married, you are tired of having no personal space.
In fact, everyone wants "self", but traditional Chinese marriages habitually tie two people together, even two families. We always put too much emphasis on wholeness in marriage, and we have no time to consider ourselves. One party overemphasizes that "we are a whole and everything needs to be faced together"; when the other party has to cooperate because of responsibilities and obligations, the inner self space is squeezed out, and it will make people more and more tired and stressed.
The beginning of marriage is actually just a proper marriage of two people and should not interfere with the original lives of both parties. Compared with
, the western view of marriage is more transparent. In a marriage, foreigners believe that the existence of marriage and family should be to make each family member better, rather than a cage that restricts each other’s development. The primary function of the family is to make each family member feel happy and enjoy Realize personal value with the support of the family, so in the American family, personal freedom is very important.
Whether in love or marriage, a certain amount of freedom and personal space is needed between partners. Foreigners will also leave plenty of time and space for each other when enjoying the time spent together every day. A free soul, an independent personality, a good circle of friends, and rich hobbies will make a relationship longer and more beautiful.
As Gao Xiaosong said in "The Story of Wonders": "Whether it is a period or a lifetime, it is the love of two free souls that is the best love." The other party has "I". Even if two individuals live together, they are in absolute freedom and do not possess each other.
