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As the saying goes, if you break the bones, you will connect the tendons.
Brothers and sisters are not just connected by muscles to us, they are our relatives connected by blood. But many times, it is your confidence in family affection that gives you a heavy blow.
In fact, if you want to have a good relationship between brothers and sisters and not suffer any disadvantages when getting along, the best way is not to treat brothers and sisters as family members.
This statement may be difficult for you to understand at first, and it may also feel a bit realistic and cold-blooded, but you will understand after suffering losses.
1: Relatives will have no sense of proportion.
People are like this, and they often leave their worst tempers to those closest to them. The same is true for brothers and sisters. Because they regard them as relatives, it is easy to lose control in their speech and behavior.
It’s not that we don’t love them, on the contrary, it’s precisely because we love them so much that we forget some of the propriety in getting along with them.
We always think that politeness means politeness, which is directed towards outsiders and is unfamiliar. Relatives should do whatever they want with each other, because they won't care about our occasional rudeness.
But relatives are also ordinary people. They also have sensitive hearts, will be sad, and will be hurt. Sometimes our words may cause great harm to them.
Don't treat your brothers and sisters as relatives. When you get along with your brothers and sisters, you should also be careful and don't hurt the person who loves you most because of your own randomness.
2: The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment
Many times, our disappointment in a relationship starts from the failure of expectations.
The most common mistake we make in interpersonal relationships is to judge others by ourselves. We believe that as we treat others, others should respond to us with the same enthusiasm.
Therefore, we regard our brothers and sisters as our relatives and treat them sincerely, and it is natural that they should reciprocate the kindness.
But your kindness to them should be out of love for them, not to get something in return.
And love is the one that least cares about rewards.
That’s why I say don’t treat brothers and sisters as relatives. When you set a relationship with them, you will expect their feedback. If they can’t do it, you will be disappointed.
But have you ever thought that your kindness to them is your initiative, not their request. You are invisibly putting a heavy burden on them, and the name of this burden is called repayment.
Don't treat brothers and sisters as relatives, don't set relationships, just look at feelings.
When you don’t expect anything from them, it’s because you love them, so you want to be nice to them, and you don’t ask them to repay their kindness. All you have to do is seek peace of mind for yourself.
Then when your brothers and sisters give back to you, what you get is an unexpected surprise.
No matter how good the relationship between brothers and sisters is, they are still independent individuals. You will also have your own family and life. The relationship between each other is sometimes like a hedgehog. If you are far away, you will feel cold, but if you are close, the thorns on each other will hurt each other.
Therefore, we can have love and rely on each other with our brothers and sisters, but we should not use blood and family ties to kidnap us, and do not demand how others should treat us.
The relationship between people cannot be forced. If the relationship is good, they will naturally get closer. If the relationship is not good, no matter how hard you force it, it will not help, and it will only make you feel depressed.
It’s better for everyone to be free and easy-going, do what you can, and believe that life will give you the best arrangements for the rest.
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